Fuck this nonsense. These women are single for reason(s!).

And that’s the nicest thing I have to say about that.

Not having difficulty finding them, really, but the quality is…not. They are either on meds that kill their affect or haven’t had enough therapy yet. Or married and forget to explain that bit. I don’t do online anything (no dating apps or social media outside of here), and refuse to.

I believe I’ll be investing solely in my hobbies and kids for a bit. This is beyond stupid.

See the 3F rule in the boat thread.

link

Dating in your 50's is the same. Except the kids may be out of the house, and she's beyond the age of worrying about pregnancy.

The only winner I found, and then married, was a widow.

Although the examples are carefully selected by the video creators, YouTube has many channels describing how very many women have so many bizarre ideas about what they believe are proper relationships that they can only be described as nuts—not mentally ill, but totally irrational and unrealistic. The ideas range from the physical attributes men should have to the minimum (outrageous) amount of money they make, but especially how they (the women) should be treated. I watch a few of the videos for my general interest in the human condition, but also due to a bit of morbid curiosity.

Like so many of society’s problems today, I blame the irrational thinking that the videos demonstrate on what our culture has become: the product of people’s thoughts and then actions being affected by “influencers” who promote the bizarre ideas that their followers accept. Cultural norms and influences are of course a part of the human condition, as it was in the beginning, is now, and forever will be, but the extremes seem to be more common now, at least in our country.

One thing some videos report is that many men have just had enough and are unwilling to put up with the nonsense, and it’s obvious to me why that is. Not all women are like the crazies, but when an infection becomes widespread enough, it’s very difficult to avoid it.

I could go on and on, but I’ll just say that I can only hope that at some point enough people as a whole recognize what’s happening and do something to change it.

BTDT

The good ones are few and far between

60s is worse, it seems. Talked to a friend (64) over the weekend, whose wife died earlier this year, after 40+ years of marriage. He's not in a hurry for another relationship. But he has been approached by a few females, mostly widows, looking for material and financial security (according to him). He is a PE and working for the State, biding his time until retirement. Luckily he is working with someone at his church with grief counseling, and will get back into the "dating game" (maybe) after some time has passed.

Been there. They all had issues, kids, drama, ex-husband(s), and the biggest problem to me was the delusion. Their expectation levels were off the charts to the point of being delusional. I mean the same for women in their 30’s. Just utter and pure delusion.

My solution was I’m only going to date women in their 20’s because they don’t have the baggage. Relationship baggage, children baggage, drama baggage. And we’re talking mid 20’s to early 30’s honestly. College aged = nonstop partying on the weekends. So my rule is if they don’t workout and/or lift at the gym, it’s not going to work. The ones that don’t want to go out and drink, and dine out all the time as I don’t live that lifestyle. Gym bunny in her mid to late 20’s or I’m happy being by myself. And even those you have to be careful of. I have discovered many of them are fit, into that lifestyle but they are doing it for social media rather than themselves.

Good luck out there. It’s the biggest shit show I have ever seen.

quote:

Originally posted by pace40:
See the 3F rule in the boat thread.

link

Oh, oops, not what I was thinking.

thankfully not in that scenario but I'll bet there are women out there that think the same thing about single/divorced men in their 40's being damaged goods as well...

good luck to you in the search

I'm 51 and having problems finding women over 40 that want to date. The 25-40 year olds are just scatterbrained and don't want to commit to long term. Fun but I'm looking for something long term.

Try it in your 50’s. It’s kind of like shopping at Goodwill; you’re just looking for something that isn’t broken and doesn’t smell bad.

Seven years separated and six years being divorced now. Been dating, been in a few relationships and learned a lot of lessons. Biggest one is not to settle. First relationship I had, I fell into the trap of thinking after 50 this is the best I can expect. Had another where she expected me to make her a priority over my daughter. One where I got ghosted after 6 months. And another where I got a note of junior high school level platitude of, “I love you, I’m just not IN LOVE with you.”

That’s the relationships, then there was the dating. I basically got to the point of meeting someone was either meet for coffee (and I don’t drink coffee) or meet at the local microbrewery for a beer. The microbrewery was great weeded out a lot of the, “I don’t date anyone who drinks” crowd, not that I drink that much but I do enjoy a beer every now and then. Anything else was too much of an investment. Yes, I know jaded, but reality. Had one date that didn’t even make it through appetizers. Another with a police officer who ran my plates and a background check on me. Another that told me as a man it was my job to, “Lead the romance” whatever the hell that was supposed to mean, um no, relationships are supposed to be a partnership.

The red flags to look for. Never been married, there’s a reason for that. Looking for my Prince Charming, nope I’m not going to solve all your problems for you. No Trumpers, I’m libertarian and tend to lean conservative I’m not a huge Trump supporter but if someone has Trump derangement syndrome and can’t even have a conversation about opposing views I don’t need that kind of energy in my life. When they place their purse on the table and out come rolling several prescription bottles of psych meds. Went on a weekend getaway and woke up at 0300 with her sitting a chair across the room screaming at me because in my sleep I rolled over and stole the covers.

All that said, don’t give up hope. I’m dating a great lady now and the future really does look great. She’s smart, funny, spontaneous and beautiful. Makes me feel things that I haven’t felt in a very long time. Some situations I never envisioned being in, but she’s worth it.

quote:

Originally posted by 2000Z-71:
Some situations I never envisioned being in, but she’s worth it.

Tourists looking to be bear scat shouldn't be a deterrent

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?"

The Princess said "NO!"

And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles, and went fishing, and hunting, and played golf, and drank beer, and scotch and had tons of money in the bank, and scratched his balls without criticism and left the toilet seat up.

Being married, or even in a relationship, is hard work. It's not something I ever really aspired to, nor did I got looking for it, but when my wife came along I knew I didn't want to live without her. It's still hard work sometimes, but she's worth it. I love being married to her...don't think I'd like it without her.

If anything ever happened to my wife and I had to start over again, I wouldn't go looking for a relationship. If someone came along naturally who I couldn't live without I'd be open to it, but if that didn't happen on its own I'd probably just do my best to be content with singleness and all the benefits that come with it. I've seen too many negative outcomes from friends or family who got tied up with the wrong person because they let their need to be in a relationship take priority over selecting the right person.

quote:

Originally posted by 2000Z-71:
When they place their purse on the table and out come rolling several prescription bottles of psych meds.

Or acyclovir.

Do it right, the women are still in their 20’s.

quote:

Originally posted by CPD SIG:
Do it right, the women are still in their 20’s.

Yep…tried that too. They want kids. I don’t, my two are turning out to be fantastic teenagers or young adults and I don’t wanna roll the dice again lol. And I got fixed.

And any 20 something that wants to date a 40 something has got some daddy issues, I have found out…

I completely avoid the high maintenance ones that have unrealistic ideals in their heads. Won’t touch those with a 10 foot pole.

Most recent one was a lady my age (and looked younger) from my gym that seemed to really have everything together. Until she didn’t.

Oh well. I’m taking myself off the market through the summer. Zero desire to put the effort in again for a while. Plus my son just went to Army basic (National Guard) and my 15 year old daughter will need a roll dog for some of the summer.

quote:

Originally posted by pace40:
See the 3F rule in the boat thread.

link

Yep!

quote:

Originally posted by Sailor1911:

quote:

Originally posted by pace40:
See the 3F rule in the boat thread.

link

Yep!

Laws are pesky things…

I got divorced and was dating in my 40s. Got lucky.

quote:

Originally posted by chongosuerte:

Laws are pesky things…

Its legal somewhere...