Asking the question again that I’m sure all Alaskans have, why are Subaru drivers such assholes?

Weekly morning grocery run. Working nights and Carr’s being open 24 hours has advantages, I can avoid the soccer moms and trophy wives at the grocery store by going at weird hours during the night. But no, not this morning. Go to Carr’s and find the front doors locked with a sign taped up, “Due to the Corona Virus Crisis and our employees working extra hard, we’ve reduced our hours to 6:00AM to 10:00PM. Really? I think I’ll suggest that to my boss as a team building exercise and morale builder, we’ll tape up a sign on the front door at work, “Do to the Corona Virus Crisis and our employees working extra hard, we’ve reduced the hours of the Emergency Department to 6:00AM to 10:00PM.” But that’s the subject for another rant.

Go home, return at 6:00AM, park truck at the end of the lot, go in, get my stuff, find out that on the day I actually remember to bring re-usable grocer bags, they’re not allowed, but that’s the subject for another rant. Push my cart out to the parking lot and find a green Subaru Outback parked right off of my driver’s door at the end of the lot. Really? What kind of Birkenstock wearing, burned out hippie, lesbian, liberal political activist would park their Lesbaru right next to my truck out at the end of the lot.

The Birenstocks with socks wearing, old college professor looking, wearing a blue surgical mask kind of Subaru driver.

It gets better, I pack up my groceries and return the cart to the cart corral just in time to turn around and watch the old hippie professor give his cart a push, watch it hit another abandoned cart and then see gravity and physics take effect and both carts turn, roll downhill and into the back bumper of my truck. Really?

I can’t let this crime against humanity and basic human decency go without saying a word.

“HEY ARE YOU REALLY THAT LAZY THAT YOU CAN’T RETURN A SHOPPING CART AND ALLOW IT TO ROLL IT INTO MY TRUCK?”

The old hippie professor starts laughing and states,

“I’m in better shape than you, besides that, it’s just a penis extension.”

GAME ON!

“Really? I have no doubt you have the physical ability to ride a bike up the side of a mountain to self pleasure yourself, but you are severely lacking in common courtesy and thoughtfulness of the common man. I work hard for my money and take pride in my truck. Work ethic and pride, two concepts I’m sure are foreign to your liberal arts education. So learn some manners or go home, pack your boyfriend’s shit, pack your own shit and peddle your asses back to California, Seattle or whatever other third world shit hole that you came from.”

“FUCK YOU!” He yelled as he got into his Lesbaru and hurriedly exited the parking lot displaying California plates, a “Feel the Bern”, a “Save the Salton Sea” (I wonder if he realizes the Salton Sea was created by a manmade accident?), and the blue and yellow equality symbol bumper stickers.

Stereotypes, they exist for a reason.

You’re a lot nicer than me. It wouldn’t have ended well for that guy.

You showed great restraint by not putting a boot print in the drivers door of his smugmobile

Don't you know someone who can deflate tires at 75 meters or something?

You can tell he never got his ass whooped as a child so he acts like that now. Someone is going to pull his card one day.

I've pushed the carts right back into the offending idiots car before when that happened to me. It was effective and satifying to see it hit.

Now wait just a minute. I am a proud Outback owner. I am not a hippie. I am not a liberal AND I'm not a lesbian......I just think like one.

Grade-A Rant!

Um... They have trophy wives in Alaska?

I've lived in Miami and Coral Gables. I spend a decent amount of time in Windermere, Florida. I'm familiar with the concept.

But, I'm thinking, an "Alaska Trophy Wife" thread would be epic.

quote:

Originally posted by ArtieS:
Grade-A Rant!

Um... They have trophy wives in Alaska?

I've lived in Miami and Coral Gables. I spend a decent amount of time in Windermere, Florida. I'm familiar with the concept.

But, I'm thinking, an "Alaska Trophy Wife" thread would be epic.

Hey, we have gold to dig up here!

quote:

“FUCK YOU!”

Typical response when a Birkenstock wearing, burned out hippie, lesbian, liberal political activist can't respond with a logical, coherent, well-formed response.

He got owned and he knew it.

As many have stated on this forum, liberalism is a disease.

quote:

Originally posted by 2000Z-71:
The old hippie professor starts laughing and states,

“I’m in better shape than you, besides that, it’s just a penis extension.”

His day needed to be ruined. What a colossal asshole.

Did the carts damage your truck at all?

quote:

Originally posted by 2000Z-71:

quote:

Originally posted by ArtieS:
Grade-A Rant!

Um... They have trophy wives in Alaska?

I've lived in Miami and Coral Gables. I spend a decent amount of time in Windermere, Florida. I'm familiar with the concept.

But, I'm thinking, an "Alaska Trophy Wife" thread would be epic.

Hey, we have gold to dig up here!

Do they qualify by tits, teeth or truck?

Save the Salton Sea? Used to live south of there back in the 70’s. It was pretty rank and looked like a post apocalyptic movie. Smelled horrible. Has it improved since then or is saving it a lost cause?

quote:

Originally posted by Nframe:
I've pushed the carts right back into the offending idiots car before when that happened to me. It was effective and satisfying to see it hit.

I realize that no good would come from it, but I'll admit that in the moment I would be hella tempted to take that action.

A weird old burnt out hippie looking dude knocked on my door before the MI primary and wanted to know if I was voting for Bernie. While I was admiring his faded out neck tattoo and telling him I do not support Communism, I noticed his ride: Subaru Outback.
He had committed a faux pas by not mounting a big black plastic box on the roof.

My philosophy goes like this.....’Not all Subaru drivers are dickheads but every dickhead owns a Subaru’.

I asked one of those types if the commie stickers were applied at the dealership or if they came from the factory?

Dealership.

quote:

Originally posted by PowerSurge:
Did the carts damage your truck at all?

Does it matter?

quote:

Originally posted by mcrimm:
My philosophy goes like this.....’Not all Subaru drivers are dickheads but every dickhead owns a Subaru’.

As the owner of five Subies (me and family) I concur!