I'm not sure what people think about handshakes these days, but maybe I'm old fashioned.

Generally speaking, I'd call a firm handshake respectful. In any transaction, it also says "I am pleased, and thank you."

If you're a lady, or identify as non male, you should still try to shake hands like you're awake.

I can't stand "the dead hand" or whatever you'd like to call it.

I'm not advocating for giving everyone a bone crushing death grip, that's not actually polite either.

But dang, if I wanted to shake hands with a corpse, I'd dig one up. Or go over Bill Cosby's house.

I agree. Both limp fish and bone-crushing are annoying.

People hear "firm" and think it means as hard as I can squeeze ?

So what do you advise me to do? I've just had wrist surgery and a firm handshake is to be avoided .
I have been going into my whole carpal tunnel spiel but it is getting tiresome. And sounds likes whining.( it is, I'm a baby I admit.)
Maybe just a quick peck on each cheek?

quote:

Originally posted by 9x18:
So what do you advise me to do? I've just had wrist surgery and a firm handshake is to be avoided .
I have been going into my whole carpal tunnel spiel but it is getting tiresome. And sounds likes whining.( it is, I'm a baby I admit.)
Maybe just a quick peck on each cheek?

Yeah, when I read Arc's original post in this thread I thought about the period when I was released from the hospital after being hit with Guillain Barré Syndrome.

My hands were so weak that I actually had to ask people for help at the gas station -- I could not twist the cap off to fuel my car. I could not open jars in the kitchen. Couldn't load a magazine, even had trouble with squeezing a trigger.

It took months of physical therapy and exercise. Two and a half years later, I have probably recovered 80% to 90% of my previous hand strength.

Tells me they either don't give a shit or aren't worth a shit.

quote:

Originally posted by 9x18:
So what do you advise me to do? I've just had wrist surgery and a firm handshake is to be avoided .
I have been going into my whole carpal tunnel spiel but it is getting tiresome. And sounds likes whining.( it is, I'm a baby I admit.)
Maybe just a quick peck on each cheek?

In a business situation, definitely give an explanation.

Personal situation, go for the hug, weak handed fist bump, or just give a reminder of your injury.

Ech, "The Squid".

I can handle "The Squeeze" but what drives me crazy is the "Premature Shake-ulation" where they grab your fingers and shake.

With regard to injured or less functional hands, I've gone lefty before, and if neither works, a "pleased to meet you" and polite explanation have gotten the job done.

Or just hold your hand up and say - "just had surgery, how are you?"

Limp is awful.

So too is the dude who thinks he's asserting his overwhelming power and masculinity crushing your hand. You're ripped, I get it. Glad to know you're also a dick.

Don't short grip me either. I can't stand it when someone closes in around my fingers before the proper depth of engagement is achieved.

It tells me they lack social skills and had poor parenting. Part of raising a son includes looking someone straight in the eye and giving a firm handshake.

Worse than too limp or strong is the guy who clamps on to your fingers before your hands fully clasp. I don't know if they think it's a race or just another dominance game but I've never experienced that situation where the offender doesn't act superior. It's been a while since that's happened, even in the most casual meeting, I get my hand right in there now.

Lack of eye contact during a handshake bothers me, too.

It makes me wonder, "Are you going to try to stab/shoot me later?".

Honestly, I'd just as soon people stopped doing this. I don't like touching or being touched by other people, especially strangers. I don't hug people either, even family. Just conduct business, thank you and leave.

I assume whenever I get a weak or limp handshake that that is an act of submission and that person now has placed me in charge.

When I ran a business and interviewed for openings a limp handshake was the end. I taught this to a young man who was taking over for his Dad, he had never thought of that way to judge folks.

I complimented a youngster who is just starting out, he had a firm shake and he looked me in the eye on first meeting. He is very proud that I recognized him for it and tells me he now watches people to see what they do.

quote:

Originally posted by wolfe 21:
Honestly, I'd just as soon people stopped doing this. I don't like touching or being touched by other people, especially strangers. I don't hug people either, even family. Just conduct business, thank you and leave.

Mmm, unfortunately this is a well dug in societal norm, and particularly in any transactional sense I'd say it'll be sticking around. I'm not a hugger either.

quote:

Originally posted by KevinCW:
I assume whenever I get a weak or limp handshake that that is an act of submission and that person now has placed me in charge.

A fair assumption.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

Originally posted by 9x18:
So what do you advise me to do? I've just had wrist surgery and a firm handshake is to be avoided .
I have been going into my whole carpal tunnel spiel but it is getting tiresome. And sounds likes whining.( it is, I'm a baby I admit.)
Maybe just a quick peck on each cheek?

Yeah, when I read Arc's original post in this thread I thought about the period when I was released from the hospital after being hit with Guillain Barré Syndrome.

My hands were so weak that I actually had to ask people for help at the gas station -- I could not twist the cap off to fuel my car. I could not open jars in the kitchen. Couldn't load a magazine, even had trouble with squeezing a trigger.

It took months of physical therapy and exercise. Two and a half years later, I have probably recovered 80% to 90% of my previous hand strength.

Medical issues are, not an issue. I've had some hand injuries of my own, and one can't be faulted for such. No, I'm talking about people who have no excuse.

Frankly, I'd absolutely settle for someone just out and saying "I'm not comfortable shaking hands," or just about anything besides either unintentionally, or purposefully disrespecting me with a limp handshake.

People who grab the fingers, yeah they're next in line at the Guillotine.

quote:

Originally posted by SBrooks:
I agree. Both limp fish and bone-crushing are annoying.

People hear "firm" and think it means as hard as I can squeeze ?

I don't know about you but I can always tell the difference between someone with a firm, even hard handshake and someone purposely trying to crush your hand to "impress"

A few years back, I decided to shatter my right wrist at work. Off for 6 months after the surgery (2 screws) to put my stuff back together.

I'd be damned if I was going to go "dead fish" on a handshake! In the cast and shortly after, I'd shake with my left paw, and explain "Sorry, I just shattered this one."

Never had a complaint.

As stated, a handshake should be firm, and looking into the other persons eyes.

Please don't confuse the lack of ability to deliver a firm handshake due to a physical disability or injury and the lack of testosterone it takes to shake a man's hand. Two TOTALLY different things!