Find a trustworthy therapist, one who's not calling every authority to red flag you. A peer support group for your occupation or veteran status is a good place to start.

Ronin1069, you have mail.

Tell me about it. Been dealing with it for most of my life.
Meds don't work, therapy doesn't work. I've basically accepted that, for me, it's to be endured, not treated.

Anxiety was a thing for me while I was dealing with the death and estate of my mother. It was by far worse in the morning. I could deal with it but it wasn't pleasant. If it was a permanent situation for the rest of my life I'd already have seen a doctor. But, it wasn't things returned to normal after her estate was closed. Knock on wood. Hopefully, I'll never have to deal with it again.

A great story about depression involving a local FB. Great read. You should also watch the linked video.

Utah State's Blake Anderson addresses death of son, announces mental health initiative
https://www.ksl.com/article/50...l-health-initiative-

Last year at this time, my father was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. He is now on hospice. Earlier this year, one of my kids was diagnosed with Epilepsy. Late June, I got diagnosed with a life-altering disease that will slowly take me. It's been a crappy year. I've learned you can't ignore depression as it won't go away.

I echo others recommendations to make an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist. I recently heard a great quote that is applicable for this thread:

quote:

Getting diagnosed is just information about you that helps you know how to take better care of yourself.

I appreciate and am grateful for all of the feedback and stories offered in this thread.

Thank you, all.

Hi Ronin,

Sorry to be a little late to this post and to your struggles. I agree with others who have said that there is a stigma with men being able to talk about things like this and where they can get help.

I myself have been working with a therapist for a few years on anxiety and confidence issues, while I still have some ways to go, it has definitely helped.

I know from past posts that you and I are in the same area. My therapist is a bit specialized given my profession, but they are very in tune with other providers in our area especially those who work with veterans like yourself. Please feel free to reach out to me at the email address in my profile if I can be of any assistance to you.

Thanks and God bless.

Just checking in to see how you’re holding up.

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It costs $50 to join the Life Extension but they give you $50 credit towards their products plus you get a hard copy of the magazine.

I've developed as system of filing and measuring.

Identifying my limitations is a starting point.
Once I identify an issue, measure it and label it I can the file it as such.

Then when I get the feelings of anxiousness, oppression, discomfort, pressure, indecision, helplessness or frustration,
I set down,
I look at the three four or five files and prioritize .

Placing values on "recognizable issues"
Seems to help in which file or issue to invest time and effort in.

Write it down in a spiral notebook if need be.
Keeping it all bottled up inside is a portion of the load that gets piled on.

Not having to carry too much of numerous loads by writing it down ,eases my work.

Reading about your issues will sometimes diminish their volume.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: bendable,

I have terrible anxiety. It's exhausting. I don't sleep, and then it gets worse when I'm tired, and it becomes a vicious circle.

Right now, I have slept about 4 - 5 hours in the last 48, and not in 4 - 5 in row, and not restful sleep.

I am always exhausted physically, mentally. I woke my wife up from my pacing the house this morning. My job sucks, it is extremely stressful so that doesn't help. I hate it but I make too much money to quit. I know I need to find ways to deal with it better. It put me often in a surly mood, bad temper, etc.

I'm not depressed but I'm damn tired of this anxiety. It's stupid, and it's triggered by stupid things but I can't stop it. It is severely affecting my health, I am sure. I have diabetes, am overweight, high blood pressure, etc. I know sleep is when your body regulates its sugar and a whole host of other things.

Ronin, for what it's worth you are not alone. I sent you an email.

quote:

Originally posted by Aeteocles:
Sorry friend. I've not experienced it so I won't attempt to offer solutions, but I want you to know that we're here to support you.

Great response. I wish more men thought like this.

Thank you OP for putting my thoughts into words. Your post is almost identical to my thoughts. To everyone else, there has been some great advice. Thank you,

Seriously, what the others said, go see a professional.

And beyond that, get someone to talk to. Whatever, or whoever you prefer, but get someone to talk to. Even if it is just venting.

I'm available if you need. Send me an email, and I'll give you my number. You can text, call or whatever.

Hell, I work nights now and I'm awake and at work. I'll talk to you about whatever, whenever.

Send an email if you want.

It's long been a "thing" that men don't talk about feelings, or if they do they are "weak" or whatever. That's bullshit. Talking your feelings out can help you put your stuff in perspective. Trust me, I've been in all sorts of stressful situations, including on duty critical incidents. It helps to talk to someone who "gets" you, or "gets" "it."

No pressure, but if you need, I'm here. I can't promise any groundbreaking experiences, but I can say I'll listen, and not judge.

And if not me, and not a family member, or trusted friend. Go see a professional. There's not shame or stigma attached. I promise you'll feel better.

Kevin

These 7 Real Foods Are Your Best Bet for Fighting Depression

It's very important (not to mention encouraging) that the medical community seems to be grasping the fact that food — not solely medical intervention in the form of drugs and/or psychotherapy — may very possibly be the best hope we have of regaining the mental foothold required, individually and collectively, to both approach and be successful at life. To sum up, the top seven foods to help fight depression are as follows:

1. Oysters, but avoid those from contaminated waters

2. Mussels, also be sure they're from unpolluted waters

3. Seafood, particularly wild-caught Alaskan salmon, herring, sardines and anchovies

4. Organ meats, but only those from grass fed animals (not CAFO animals)

5. Leafy greens

6. Peppers

7. Cruciferous vegetables

Making it even easier for people to eat good foods without becoming overwhelmed by erroneous dietary restrictions, the researchers of the featured study noted another study from BMJ in 2016.21 It addresses issues with foods that many medical professionals had until recently insisted were "harmful." The old-school narratives on saturated fat, cholesterol and sodium are being overturned based on more recent research.

Moreover, the harmfulness and potential benefit of nutrients such as saturated fat, cholesterol and sodium for both physical and mental health are being reevaluated based on more recent research, and cholesterol is no longer considered a nutrient of concern according to the most recent Dietary Guidelines for Americans.

The study authors also observe that mental health professionals may or may not be equipped to support behavioral changes, of which dietary change is simply an example. But the AFS list can be used as a tool, if not by medical personnel to refine their nutritional recommendations for their patients, then by you as a consumer to intelligently refine — or redefine — your nutritional choices.

https://drjosephmercola.com/to...lp-fight-depression/

I’m dealing with crushing anxiety caused by my job as well. I have been the number one rep on my team for the past 14 months and I’ve set the table for continued success moving forward, but keeping up with extremely demanding customers and an extremely complex industry has me near the breaking point.

I would be walking away from a lot of money that took 1.5 years of learning a new job in a new industry in the middle of the pandemic to get where I am. I have child support obligations and the demands on my income just keep growing.

I’m exhausted all day and then can’t sleep at night and I feel like I’m going to snap. I’m starving hungry all day but the thought of eating almost repulses me.

I’m working on setting up time with a therapist but, of course, I’m running into all kinds of problems with the benefits that I have and the app that I’m supposed to use.

I’m at my wits end and I’m constantly coming across problems that my company creates or makes way over complicated or the people I work with making things harder than they have to be. And managers who just keep piling more and more on our plates because they think that we have infinite time, energy, and resources.

I’m constantly waiting for bad things to happen and, at this point, even the slightest problems overwhelm me.

quote:

Originally posted by alwayshungry:


I’m dealing with crushing anxiety caused by my job as well.

You say you can't afford to quit this job but you have to find a way to leave it.

I had one job like that I worked for a few months and started HATING it, I started getting severe anxiety at the thought of going in every day. Sundays were the most brutal because all I could think of was having to go back in there Monday morning and it was getting bad.

One Sunday I just decided that I had enough and was going to put in my notice that Monday morning. Monday morning arrives and I walk up to the boss/owner and say "This isn't going to work out for me, do you want two weeks notice or should I go now?"

He replies "You can go now"

I walked out of there instantly feeling like a 250 lb lead weight had been lifted off of me and I walked right to my car like this and drove away from there forever:

quote:

Originally posted by alwayshungry:
I’m dealing with crushing anxiety caused by my job as well.

The last place I worked, one person had a fatal heart attack and the other person had a fatal stroke a year after he left.

I knew the one person from a previous job and had told him to not come in on Saturdays and Sundays. My advice was to push back and tell them you needed help. He wasn't even getting credit when another person was writing the report and not including has name.

It's definitely in the hereditary brain chemistry and also environmental things that often happen before you can even remember.

My sister was diagnosed bi-polar, low functioning, abused alcohol and Rx drugs, and caused her death (neglected her diabetes) at the age of 39.
My father was likely undiagnosed high performing bi-polar, corporate executive, abused alcohol, and took his life at 49.
My father's older brother was very high functioning, took his life at 76.
My mother was very codependent on my father.
My cousin is now diagnosed as treatment resistant concurrent autism and schizophrenia - and he will be in institutions for the rest of his life.

There are also major signs of cluster-B disorders - my father's mother was very likely narcissistic and my father had comorbid signs of NPD and Borderline PD. All of the family was affected by my grandmother in some way or another. My two remaining uncles are alcoholics.

For me, living with all of these nuts was depressing. I manifested it in my early teens, and was treated like I was the "problem".

In hindsight I think I was more of the canary in the coal mine, the most normal one reacting to the chaos around me. But it all did a number on me and I had a major relapse in my late 20's, due to a job situation where I was lied to by everyone involved including HR and left in the exact opposite situation I thought I agreed to.

Hardest thing to do is find the right meds that work. Everyone is different and every med has side effects and varying effectiveness. Once the right meds were prescribed I got better very quickly.

Most of the last 21 years I have been on meds and had a really good doctor (Psych) who listened and always did the right thing for me. He also shot M1 rifle in competition at one point in his life so signing off on my gun permits was no big deal.

But the real underlying issue is anxiety. Anxiety causes lost sleep which causes fatigue which makes you less functional, which leads to depression. I probably have a form of PTSD from being around nuts my entire time growing up. Controlling anxiety is tough, because anti-depressants don't work on anxiety. The only thing that really works are drugs that are addictive controlled substances. But they work and when used correctly they take the edge off and allow you to sleep ok.