There's an old saying I've always heard that goes something like this: "He/she could break an anvil with a tack hammer!" I have two of those in my family, but will get no more specific than that.

Typical examples include:

- Slamming car doors when they close just fine when done gently. All attempts to encourage said persons to be gentle as slamming will long-term cause rattles
- Punching/smashing the buttons on electrical/electronic devices. I have now had the repair the power button on our dryer 3 different times due to this behavior. They break it and I am the one stuck with fixing it!
- Putting jars or mugs in the dishwasher that still paper labels stuck to them. Those labels come loose and end up clogging the small spray holes in the rotating washer arms. It's more than just a little hassle to pull them out and then attempt to remove the paper!
- Slamming the lid shut on the laptop {or putting it down on a hard surface) while it's still running. This older machine still has an old-fashioned HDD with rotating platters, and one day the drive is gonna corrupted/damaged by this... and guess who has to fix/replace it?

I'm sure I could think of many other examples, but those are the ones that come to mind at the moment.

If it was somebody else who was responsible for their own stuff and the associated repair cost, I'd have no issue with how they treat things, but when I'm on the hook for it, I get rather irritated! I was raised to take care of things, and after 63 years I still want to take care of things!

I’m with psycho/francis, touch my stuff, and I’ll kill ya. I no longer loan any of my stuff back. They either damage it, treat it like rental stuff, or I have to fight them for 6 months to get it back.

Two friends I know. One loans the other his Tahoe. Now the guy who he loaned it too makes plenty of $, and plenty enough to rent a vehicle. He gets the loaner and puts 10,000 miles on it, doesn’t change the oil, doesn’t wash it.

The problem is people do not respect other people’s stuff. Whether that is a vehicle or anything really that costs money. But many of these same people don’t even respect their own vehicles or property.

quote:

.....but will get no more specific than that.

So, you're thinking your wife might be a reader here but won't recognize her own behavior?

I knew a man that had dozens of rental apartments. When a prospective tenant would come to look at the unit he would mosey out to their car and look inside, if it was a dumpster he wouldn't rent to them.
I stopped loaning my stuff many years ago.
Once loaned a chainsaw and several weeks later asked for it back. he gave it to someone else.
When I got it back it was destroyed.

Borrowed my father-in-law's 2-wheeled wheelbarrow to do some french drain work in my backyard.
Cracked the lip of the tub dumping it.
Bought him a new one & I'll try to fix this one & keep it for myself.

I'm in the 'return things as you found them' camp.
If I borrow your car, I'll drive it like it's a priceless Ferrari & return it with a full tank.
Loan me a tool & you'll get it back as I got it.

Rather than loan stuff to some people, I'll offer it & my help with it, if it's within reason. At least then you know it's being used as you'd use it.

quote:

Originally posted by bronicabill:


- Slamming car doors when they close just fine when done gently.

That is my wife. She SLAMMMS her and my car doors SO hard, I sometimes think she's trying to break something. I just don't get it.

I can only think of three people I would loan out my vehicles/tools to.
I just learned this story a few years ago from my uncle: A man that my father worked with asked if his father could borrow my dad’s pickup. He let him. A day or two later his coworkers father called my dad up and said it ran out of gas. He gave my father the location and said he’d leave the keys under the mat.
Lesson learned.

I never understood that. Many years ago, I interviewed in Carson City, NV for a job. My MIL lived there, and offered me a bed and the use of her car. I drove to my interviews and tests, took the car and had it detailed and gassed up before returning it. She called me tearfully 3 days later when she drove it. She said neither of her sons had ever been that considerate. I considered it a bargain-it cost much less than 4 days in a hotel and a rental.

It's your own fault for being an enabler, stop allowing people that slam doors to ride in your car, stop fixing the dryer after they've damaged the buttons, don't allow anyone to use your laptop that slams the lid shut. As long as you continue to fix and replace items other people damage they're going to keep doing exactly what they're doing because they're not facing any consequences for their actions. I don't loan anybody anything except my neighbor who loans things to me and I know he will return whatever he borrowed in the same condition he received it.

I have an in-law or two not allowed in my house for similar reasons.

Some people just seem to be hard on everything they touch..

My Dad made me leave my 67 Cougar at home when I moved out just shy of eighteen because he thought I’d move home if I didn’t have a car. I lived a couple blocks from college and work and went everywhere with my boyfriend or roommate. he finally relented and bought me another old used car. He told me later, “I should have let you keep that little Cougar. Your sister always did go like a bat out of hell with everything. She could tear up a steel ball with a rubber hammer.” Probably after the first time she backed it into a pole or something. He was extremely fond of that little car. Pissed me off too-the stereo system in it had been my high school graduation present only a year before.

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Originally posted by MelissaDallas:
...67 Cougar...

I went to college with a guy whose father gave him a 1967 Cougar XR-7 as a high school graduation present, also. Brand-new, since we were 1966 grads.

The college was in Minnesota, and one winter day he decided to do donuts on the frozen lake a couple miles away. Ice wasn't thick enough (he was apparently the only one dumb enough to not know it), divers recovered the car the next spring. It had been beautiful, nice leather interior and vinyl top, now total junk. He didn't care.

quote:

Originally posted by calugo:
It's your own fault for being an enabler, stop allowing people that slam doors to ride in your car, stop fixing the dryer after they've damaged the buttons, don't allow anyone to use your laptop that slams the lid shut. <<snip>>

Did you read the part about it being family members, and as others have already figured out... CLOSE family members, one of whom I'd have to divorce to do what you suggest? Are you really THAT out of touch??? I didn't want to point fingers at specific persons, but apparently some require it, so wife and daughter. Thankfully daughter no longer lives with us, but still mistreats things when she's home to visit.

I have made it SOP that I buy the wife the sturdiest Otterbox case made for her iPhones because she will drop her phone 150 times a day. Mine still look pristine in a basic Speck case when it's time to upgrade but she is rough on things and I'm shocked I haven't had to get a shattered screen fixed so far yet.

quote:

The college was in Minnesota, and one winter day he decided to do donuts on the frozen lake a couple miles away. Ice wasn't thick enough (he was apparently the only one dumb enough to not know it), divers recovered the car the next spring. It had been beautiful, nice leather interior and vinyl top, now total junk. He didn't care.

When you have no skin in the game....

That's tough, Bill.

My wife is the same way when it comes to knobs and for some reason, handles on faucets. Why are you slamming them???

She also has a tendency to accelerate and brake hard for no reason.

People - family or not - can mistreat my stuff. Once. [/Johnny Dangerously]

quote:

Originally posted by newtoSig765:

quote:

Originally posted by MelissaDallas:
...67 Cougar...

I went to college with a guy whose father gave him a 1967 Cougar XR-7 as a high school graduation present, also. Brand-new, since we were 1966 grads.

The college was in Minnesota, and one winter day he decided to do donuts on the frozen lake a couple miles away. Ice wasn't thick enough (he was apparently the only one dumb enough to not know it), divers recovered the car the next spring. It had been beautiful, nice leather interior and vinyl top, now total junk. He didn't care.

Our cousin had an XR7 when we had ours. Hers was fancy. Little map lights and opera windows.

Daddy found ours in 76- one of those “little old ladies drove it church every week and parked it in the garage” cars. Perfect shape and hardly any miles. My Dad was a big car guy and was looking forward to me getting my license as an excuse to buy another cool car.

They were nice cars, especially when one cared for them.

Employers who supplied vehicles had this complaint about me.