Let’s start off with my wife is trying to feed me healthier foods. My wife doesn’t eat much bread (like twice a year or so since it makes her sick) and if she does, she prefers the weirdest breads you can imagine.
We were at Costco and she bought two Orowheat loaves. I didn’t look at what she was buying, as she buys bread for me. She doesn’t fuck this task up, well, she hasn’t fucked this task up for 19 years. Reset the motherfucking clock.
Now, if I’m having shitty, mass produced, pasty ass bread from the store, I’m doing one of two things. 1. Grilled cheese. 2. Peanut Butter and Jelly
If you’re making those on some weird ass “Dave’s Killer Bread”, you’re a Birkenstock and sock wearing hippie communist. It’s bread. It’s been around, pretty much in one form or another, forever, or 10,000 years according to Google. Why in the name of God, are you fucking up this staple with seeds and shit that doesn’t belong?
Ever make a PB&J with a grainy ass bread, filled with more seeds than squirrel shit? It should be a felony. Worst sandwich I have had in a long time. This bread can suck it like a dolphin, right through the blow hole.
Have you tried cutting off the crust? Or are all the twigs and leaves mixed in throughout the whole loaf? I just buy the cheap store brand. It's good enough.
May 22, 2023, 06:20 AM
egregore
May 22, 2023, 07:35 AM
nhracecraft
You could always make bread crumbs out of it and put it in meatballs, or meatloaf. Or you could feed it to the birds...
If Some is Good, and More is Better.....then Too Much, is Just Enough !! Trump 2024....Save America! "May Almighty God bless the United States of America" - parabellum 7/26/20 Live Free or Die!
May 22, 2023, 08:32 AM
41
Add it to concrete for extra strength.
41
May 22, 2023, 10:21 AM
YooperSigs
Tempts me to resurrect my old post on poorly sliced Ball Park Hot Dog Buns.
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May 22, 2023, 10:38 AM
oddball
Call me odd, but I love "weird-ass" bread. I haven't bought commercial made sliced bread in years, pretty much the only name brand I buy is Martins Potato Rolls for hot dogs and hamburgers. We buy fresh baked bread from the bakery section of our HEB/Central Market store. Whole 9 grain, sliced sourdough, a castelvetrano olive bread, prosciutto/black pepper bread is my current favorite. We tend to but 1-2 loaves a week, so we rotate in variety. We have cut back on carbs a bit, but man, if I could, I would eat a loaf a day.
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May 22, 2023, 11:28 AM
k5blazer
I love the Orowheat 12 grain and seeds bread. At my age, I need fiber in the diet and this bread works for me.
May 22, 2023, 02:00 PM
bendable
There's a time and a place for Dave's , I will admit , toasted cheese ain't one of those times. I miss my Toasted cheese sandwich s, MaC and cheese, Cheese burgers
Even more than chocolate
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May 22, 2023, 04:30 PM
irreverent
Made me laugh-Nice rant. Just bought my husband some keto bread just to give it a shot - it’s pretty similar, I think
__________________________
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May 22, 2023, 07:37 PM
229DAK
I make a honey-oat bread with sunflower, flax & sesame seeds using bread, whole wheat and 9-grain flours plus old-fashioned oats. It makes great sandwiches and breakfast toast.
_________________________________________________________________________ “A man’s treatment of a dog is no indication of the man’s nature, but his treatment of a cat is. It is the crucial test. None but the humane treat a cat well.” -- Mark Twain, 1902
May 22, 2023, 08:12 PM
egregore
If you don't want to waste the rest of the bread, here's a use for it.
May 22, 2023, 11:24 PM
Beancooker
You couldn’t remove a pilot bearing with this crap. It’s not spongy enough. The only good use I have thought of, is to dry it out and use it as roof tiles.
quote:
Originally posted by parabellum: You must have your pants custom tailored to fit your massive balls.
Originally posted by nhracecraft: You could always make bread crumbs out of it and put it in meatballs, or meatloaf. Or you could feed it to the birds...
And birds are tasty. Maybe it’s his wife’s way of saying he should:
May 23, 2023, 10:11 AM
83v45magna
quote:
Originally posted by Beancooker: Let’s start off with my wife is trying to feed me healthier foods. My wife doesn’t eat much bread (like twice a year or so since it makes her sick) and if she does, she prefers the weirdest breads you can imagine.
We were at Costco and she bought two Orowheat loaves. I didn’t look at what she was buying, as she buys bread for me. She doesn’t fuck this task up, well, she hasn’t fucked this task up for 19 years. Reset the motherfucking clock.
Now, if I’m having shitty, mass produced, pasty ass bread from the store, I’m doing one of two things. 1. Grilled cheese. 2. Peanut Butter and Jelly
If you’re making those on some weird ass “Dave’s Killer Bread”, you’re a Birkenstock and sock wearing hippie communist. It’s bread. It’s been around, pretty much in one form or another, forever, or 10,000 years according to Google. Why in the name of God, are you fucking up this staple with seeds and shit that doesn’t belong?
Ever make a PB&J with a grainy ass bread, filled with more seeds than squirrel shit? It should be a felony. Worst sandwich I have had in a long time. This bread can suck it like a dolphin, right through the blow hole.
My wife is well aware that I refer to those types (Dave's killer, etc.) as wooden bread. I can take something like Orowheat, but once it starts to resemble particle board, I'm out too.
May 24, 2023, 12:37 AM
sjtill
I make our bread at home. Grind the wheat berries to flour; mix flour with oil, honey, yeast and salt. I do sprinkle sesame seeds on top because they give it a little crunch and a little nutty flavor. But I loathe commercial breads with flax, sunflower seeds and the like.
_________________________ “ What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.”— Lord Melbourne
May 26, 2023, 06:26 AM
straightshooter1
We try to avoid eating potatoes (pretty easy) and bread (pretty hard since so many things are "bread" like pretzels and pizza, for example).
In any event we do like the Orrowheat described by the OP and I always look at and sometimes buy different types of Dave's.
The only complaint I have is the cost of these breads.
Bob
May 27, 2023, 08:33 AM
229DAK
quote:
The only complaint I have is the cost of these breads.
Make it yourself; it's really not all that difficult.
_________________________________________________________________________ “A man’s treatment of a dog is no indication of the man’s nature, but his treatment of a cat is. It is the crucial test. None but the humane treat a cat well.” -- Mark Twain, 1902
August 12, 2023, 09:34 AM
sigfreund
I thought this might be about how hard it is to find that particular variety. Orowheat 12 is my absolute favorite bread and it often sells out early in my small town store. A friend introduced me to the term “marshmallow bread” long ago to refer to the tasteless bleached white stuff that I was raised on, and I’ve tried many different versions since.
But I believe that the reason marshmallow bread became so popular in the days of my youth and before was because it was viewed as somewhat of a luxury item prior to that time. I’ve read references in historical works about how it was an unusual treat to get “white” bread when sailors and soldiers had to be away from usual sources of supply for a long time.
When a decent store brand was discontinued locally I tried the Orowheat 12 it became my instant favorite. Even though it’s expensive, I dislike going to something else when it’s out of stock.
