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Alea iacta est
Picture of Beancooker
posted
Let’s start off with my wife is trying to feed me healthier foods.
My wife doesn’t eat much bread (like twice a year or so since it makes her sick) and if she does, she prefers the weirdest breads you can imagine.

We were at Costco and she bought two Orowheat loaves. I didn’t look at what she was buying, as she buys bread for me. She doesn’t fuck this task up, well, she hasn’t fucked this task up for 19 years. Reset the motherfucking clock.

Now, if I’m having shitty, mass produced, pasty ass bread from the store, I’m doing one of two things.
1. Grilled cheese.
2. Peanut Butter and Jelly

If you’re making those on some weird ass “Dave’s Killer Bread”, you’re a Birkenstock and sock wearing hippie communist. It’s bread. It’s been around, pretty much in one form or another, forever, or 10,000 years according to Google. Why in the name of God, are you fucking up this staple with seeds and shit that doesn’t belong?

Ever make a PB&J with a grainy ass bread, filled with more seeds than squirrel shit? It should be a felony. Worst sandwich I have had in a long time. This bread can suck it like a dolphin, right through the blow hole.

Sunflower seeds, chia seeds, flax seeds, poppy seeds, almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts…

WTF?!?! She’s fired from bread duty.



quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
I'd fly to Turks and Caicos with live ammo falling out of my pockets before getting within spitting distance of NJ with a firearm.
The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 4449 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
probably a good thing
I don't have a cut
posted Hide Post
Have you tried cutting off the crust? Or are all the twigs and leaves mixed in throughout the whole loaf? I just buy the cheap store brand. It's good enough.
 
Posts: 3516 | Location: Tampa, FL | Registered: February 09, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
posted Hide Post
 
Posts: 28921 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Shall Not Be Infringed
Picture of nhracecraft
posted Hide Post
You could always make bread crumbs out of it and put it in meatballs, or meatloaf. Or you could feed it to the birds... Wink


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Posts: 9560 | Location: New Hampshire | Registered: October 29, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Only the strong survive
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Add it to concrete for extra strength. Big Grin


41
 
Posts: 11894 | Location: Herndon, VA | Registered: June 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Tempts me to resurrect my old post on poorly sliced Ball Park Hot Dog Buns.


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Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
 
Posts: 16468 | Location: Marquette MI | Registered: July 08, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Get Off My Lawn
Picture of oddball
posted Hide Post
Call me odd, but I love "weird-ass" bread. I haven't bought commercial made sliced bread in years, pretty much the only name brand I buy is Martins Potato Rolls for hot dogs and hamburgers. We buy fresh baked bread from the bakery section of our HEB/Central Market store. Whole 9 grain, sliced sourdough, a castelvetrano olive bread, prosciutto/black pepper bread is my current favorite. We tend to but 1-2 loaves a week, so we rotate in variety. We have cut back on carbs a bit, but man, if I could, I would eat a loaf a day.



"I’m not going to read Time Magazine, I’m not going to read Newsweek, I’m not going to read any of these magazines; I mean, because they have too much to lose by printing the truth"- Bob Dylan, 1965
 
Posts: 17446 | Location: Texas | Registered: May 13, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Cogito Ergo Sum
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I love the Orowheat 12 grain and seeds bread. At my age, I need fiber in the diet and this bread works for me.
 
Posts: 5789 | Registered: August 01, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin

There's a time and a place for Dave's ,
I will admit , toasted cheese ain't one of those times.
I miss my
Toasted cheese sandwich s,
MaC and cheese,
Cheese burgers

Even more than chocolate





Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency.



Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first
 
Posts: 55286 | Location: Henry County , Il | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eye on the
Silver Lining
posted Hide Post
Made me laugh-Nice rant.
Just bought my husband some keto bread just to give it a shot - it’s pretty similar, I think Smile


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Posts: 5540 | Registered: October 24, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of 229DAK
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I make a honey-oat bread with sunflower, flax & sesame seeds using bread, whole wheat and 9-grain flours plus old-fashioned oats. It makes great sandwiches and breakfast toast.


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“A man’s treatment of a dog is no indication of the man’s nature, but his treatment of a cat is. It is the crucial test. None but the humane treat a cat well.”
-- Mark Twain, 1902
 
Posts: 9346 | Location: Northern Virginia | Registered: November 04, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
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If you don't want to waste the rest of the bread, here's a use for it.

 
Posts: 28921 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Alea iacta est
Picture of Beancooker
posted Hide Post
You couldn’t remove a pilot bearing with this crap. It’s not spongy enough. The only good use I have thought of, is to dry it out and use it as roof tiles.



quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
I'd fly to Turks and Caicos with live ammo falling out of my pockets before getting within spitting distance of NJ with a firearm.
The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 4449 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Savor the limelight
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by nhracecraft:
You could always make bread crumbs out of it and put it in meatballs, or meatloaf. Or you could feed it to the birds... Wink
And birds are tasty. Maybe it’s his wife’s way of saying he should:
 
Posts: 11825 | Location: SWFL | Registered: October 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Back, and
to the left
Picture of 83v45magna
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Beancooker:
Let’s start off with my wife is trying to feed me healthier foods.
My wife doesn’t eat much bread (like twice a year or so since it makes her sick) and if she does, she prefers the weirdest breads you can imagine.

We were at Costco and she bought two Orowheat loaves. I didn’t look at what she was buying, as she buys bread for me. She doesn’t fuck this task up, well, she hasn’t fucked this task up for 19 years. Reset the motherfucking clock.

Now, if I’m having shitty, mass produced, pasty ass bread from the store, I’m doing one of two things.
1. Grilled cheese.
2. Peanut Butter and Jelly

If you’re making those on some weird ass “Dave’s Killer Bread”, you’re a Birkenstock and sock wearing hippie communist. It’s bread. It’s been around, pretty much in one form or another, forever, or 10,000 years according to Google. Why in the name of God, are you fucking up this staple with seeds and shit that doesn’t belong?

Ever make a PB&J with a grainy ass bread, filled with more seeds than squirrel shit? It should be a felony. Worst sandwich I have had in a long time. This bread can suck it like a dolphin, right through the blow hole.

Sunflower seeds, chia seeds, flax seeds, poppy seeds, almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts…

WTF?!?! She’s fired from bread duty.


My wife is well aware that I refer to those types (Dave's killer, etc.) as wooden bread. I can take something like Orowheat, but once it starts to resemble particle board, I'm out too.
 
Posts: 7458 | Location: Dallas | Registered: August 04, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
goodheart
Picture of sjtill
posted Hide Post
I make our bread at home. Grind the wheat berries to flour; mix flour with oil, honey, yeast and salt.
I do sprinkle sesame seeds on top because they give it a little crunch and a little nutty flavor.
But I loathe commercial breads with flax, sunflower seeds and the like.


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Posts: 18524 | Location: One hop from Paradise | Registered: July 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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We try to avoid eating potatoes (pretty easy) and bread (pretty hard since so many things are "bread" like pretzels and pizza, for example).

In any event we do like the Orrowheat described by the OP and I always look at and sometimes buy different types of Dave's.

The only complaint I have is the cost of these breads.

Bob
 
Posts: 1696 | Location: TampaBay | Registered: May 22, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of 229DAK
posted Hide Post
quote:
The only complaint I have is the cost of these breads.
Make it yourself; it's really not all that difficult.


_________________________________________________________________________
“A man’s treatment of a dog is no indication of the man’s nature, but his treatment of a cat is. It is the crucial test. None but the humane treat a cat well.”
-- Mark Twain, 1902
 
Posts: 9346 | Location: Northern Virginia | Registered: November 04, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Freethinker
Picture of sigfreund
posted Hide Post
I thought this might be about how hard it is to find that particular variety. Orowheat 12 is my absolute favorite bread and it often sells out early in my small town store. A friend introduced me to the term “marshmallow bread” long ago to refer to the tasteless bleached white stuff that I was raised on, and I’ve tried many different versions since.

But I believe that the reason marshmallow bread became so popular in the days of my youth and before was because it was viewed as somewhat of a luxury item prior to that time. I’ve read references in historical works about how it was an unusual treat to get “white” bread when sailors and soldiers had to be away from usual sources of supply for a long time.

When a decent store brand was discontinued locally I tried the Orowheat 12 it became my instant favorite. Even though it’s expensive, I dislike going to something else when it’s out of stock.




6.4/93.6
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Posts: 47836 | Location: 10,150 Feet Above Sea Level in Colorado | Registered: April 04, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
thin skin can't win
Picture of Georgeair
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quote:
Grind the wheat berries to flour;


Dude!



You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02

 
Posts: 12839 | Location: Madison, MS | Registered: December 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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