Diarrhea. Translation: Your asshole will becoming a rampaging firehose of doom, no matter what you eat or take to counteract it. Please also try our other products, like Metamucil and Loperamide! Learn to pat, not wipe.
Drowsiness. Translation: Don’t drive because you’re going to fall asleep randomly for two hours a day when, where, and whether you like it or not. Have fun with that.
Vivid dreams. Translation: Nightmares. You WILL hear the doorbell, audibly in the middle of the night, multiple times, and you will get up to meet the invader that will change identity each time. Maybe you’ll actually actually get up and see a rotting carcass standing at the door, or maybe you’ll dream it’s some junkie trying to rob you, but you won’t know the difference until you sit up in bed for five minutes listening. Or maybe you won’t at all because the airplane crashes and you wake up just upon impact because you had a nightmare within a nightmare. Inception has jack shit on big Pharma.
As always, discontinue immediately and consult your physician if experiencing extreme symptoms. Even if you were prescribed this medicine to save your life. Buy and ingest our drugs or die... pussy.
______________________________________________ Carthago delenda est
What amuses me is how “Ask your doctor if this is right for you” ads are interspersed with “If you took that you may be entitled to a large financial settlement” ones.
Posts: 6963 | Location: 96753 | Registered: December 15, 1999
"Call your doctor if you experience swelling of the tongue or throat." If this leaves you unable to speak, how are you supposed to call the doctor?
I was given some kind of opiate (can't remember what offhand) for an Achilles tendon injury in 2012. It did fuck-all for the pain unless I took enough to get high - a feeling I didn't like - and gave me constipation from hell. I've never had it like that before or since. It felt like passing a log with the bark and branches still on it. That was worse than the actual pain from the injury, which wasn't bad if I kept my leg elevated, but I couldn't always do that.
I dislike excessive regulation and censorship as much as the next guy. Having said that, if I could be king/dictator/tyrant for a day, I'd ban drug ads.
Posts: 28921 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012
I like (not!) the names they give the drugs. They will give it a catchy trade name, then in parentheses "abbadabbafrannistan" or some shit. And the commercials for the plaque psoriasis/psoriatic arthritis drug called Cosentyx (abdulizumab) makes these ailments sound almost like fun.
Posts: 28921 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012
“I used to be totally into Steve Vai and Joe Satriani and other shredders, and I tried to emulate what they did and really grow as a guitarist,” Mr. Hanneman said in “Louder Than Hell.” “Then I said, ‘I don’t think I’m that talented, but more important, I don’t care.’ ”
"If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24
Anal Leakage is always something I look forward to. Often, after seeing the list of side effects, I just think you are better off with your original ailment. And dont spray anything with RoundUp, after having surgical mesh implanted while wearing 3M combat earplugs. And dont use talcum powder while wearing Grecian Formula!
End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
Posts: 16468 | Location: Marquette MI | Registered: July 08, 2014
Originally posted by YooperSigs: And dont spray anything with RoundUp, after having surgical mesh implanted while wearing 3M combat earplugs. And dont use talcum powder while wearing Grecian Formula!
Known to the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive harm.
May also cause your balls to rot off.
______________________________________________ Carthago delenda est
New Zealand and the United States are the only countries in the world that allow drug companies to run TV ads. I am sick of seeing them as well. They sell more drugs this way.
Posts: 17627 | Location: Stuck at home | Registered: January 02, 2015
