SIGforum
Side effects may include: (feel free to share your own).

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/230601935/m/1190084064

August 30, 2019, 11:35 PM
P220 Smudge
Side effects may include: (feel free to share your own).
Diarrhea. Translation: Your asshole will becoming a rampaging firehose of doom, no matter what you eat or take to counteract it. Please also try our other products, like Metamucil and Loperamide! Learn to pat, not wipe.

Drowsiness. Translation: Don’t drive because you’re going to fall asleep randomly for two hours a day when, where, and whether you like it or not. Have fun with that.

Vivid dreams. Translation: Nightmares. You WILL hear the doorbell, audibly in the middle of the night, multiple times, and you will get up to meet the invader that will change identity each time. Maybe you’ll actually actually get up and see a rotting carcass standing at the door, or maybe you’ll dream it’s some junkie trying to rob you, but you won’t know the difference until you sit up in bed for five minutes listening. Or maybe you won’t at all because the airplane crashes and you wake up just upon impact because you had a nightmare within a nightmare. Inception has jack shit on big Pharma.

As always, discontinue immediately and consult your physician if experiencing extreme symptoms. Even if you were prescribed this medicine to save your life. Buy and ingest our drugs or die... pussy.


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Carthago delenda est
August 31, 2019, 12:02 AM
2000Z-71
Vaginal itching and discharge, even if you do not have one.




My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball.
August 31, 2019, 12:20 AM
P210
What amuses me is how “Ask your doctor if this is right for you” ads are interspersed with “If you took that you may be entitled to a large financial settlement” ones.
August 31, 2019, 01:05 AM
hudr
Benadryl Allergy tablets, because you can’t sneeze if you’re in a coma.
August 31, 2019, 05:07 AM
just1tym
May Be Addicting..So yea, after almost three years of taking opiates 24hrs a day I say definitely YES THEY ARE!


Regards, Will G.
August 31, 2019, 06:25 AM
egregore
"Call your doctor if you experience swelling of the tongue or throat." If this leaves you unable to speak, how are you supposed to call the doctor? Confused Roll Eyes

I was given some kind of opiate (can't remember what offhand) for an Achilles tendon injury in 2012. It did fuck-all for the pain unless I took enough to get high - a feeling I didn't like - and gave me constipation from hell. I've never had it like that before or since. It felt like passing a log with the bark and branches still on it. That was worse than the actual pain from the injury, which wasn't bad if I kept my leg elevated, but I couldn't always do that.

I dislike excessive regulation and censorship as much as the next guy. Having said that, if I could be king/dictator/tyrant for a day, I'd ban drug ads.
August 31, 2019, 06:40 AM
BurtonRW



Link to original video: https://youtu.be/h_jX2KT7AMY

-Rob




I predict that there will be many suggestions and statements about the law made here, and some of them will be spectacularly wrong. - jhe888

A=A
August 31, 2019, 06:54 AM
egregore
I like (not!) the names they give the drugs. They will give it a catchy trade name, then in parentheses "abbadabbafrannistan" or some shit. And the commercials for the plaque psoriasis/psoriatic arthritis drug called Cosentyx (abdulizumab) makes these ailments sound almost like fun.
August 31, 2019, 07:07 AM
henryaz
 

 
Link to original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCSpjBE4bvE



When in doubt, mumble
August 31, 2019, 07:51 AM
preten2b
"Do not take if you're allergic to Cosentyx" (or whatever).

How would you know if you're allergic to some newfangled compound with a made up name?

Dumbfuckery is different, it's commonly known many of us ARE allergic to that.


------------------
The plural of anecdote is not data. -Frank Kotsonis
August 31, 2019, 08:23 AM
UpTheIrons
sideaffectsmayincludesuddendeath.



“I used to be totally into Steve Vai and Joe Satriani and other shredders, and I tried to emulate what they did and really grow as a guitarist,” Mr. Hanneman said in “Louder Than Hell.” “Then I said, ‘I don’t think I’m that talented, but more important, I don’t care.’ ”
August 31, 2019, 09:30 AM
RogueJSK
I like the diplomatically termed side effect of "anal leakage".

I guess that's more palatable than "This drug will cause you to shart, make skidmarks, and/or straight up crap your pants".
August 31, 2019, 09:46 AM
erj_pilot
Jeff covers 'em all!! Big Grin



"Uneven tire wear"...LMAO!!



"If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24
August 31, 2019, 09:49 AM
Vgex

August 31, 2019, 10:15 AM
12131
Side effects may include gangrene of your genital. https://www.drug-injury.com/dr...of-genital-area.html


Q






August 31, 2019, 12:21 PM
P220 Smudge
quote:
Originally posted by 12131:
Side effects may include gangrene of your genital. https://www.drug-injury.com/dr...of-genital-area.html



Eek Eek Eek

Holy fuck! A drug that helps control diabetes but your taint and balls rot off! Fuuuuuuck that! Eek


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Carthago delenda est
August 31, 2019, 12:28 PM
Leemur
Anti depressants that cause suicidal thoughts. Seriously?!
August 31, 2019, 01:39 PM
YooperSigs
Anal Leakage is always something I look forward to.
Often, after seeing the list of side effects, I just think you are better off with your original ailment.
And dont spray anything with RoundUp, after having surgical mesh implanted while wearing 3M combat earplugs. And dont use talcum powder while wearing Grecian Formula!


End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
August 31, 2019, 02:22 PM
P220 Smudge
quote:
Originally posted by YooperSigs:
And dont spray anything with RoundUp, after having surgical mesh implanted while wearing 3M combat earplugs. And dont use talcum powder while wearing Grecian Formula!


Known to the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive harm.

May also cause your balls to rot off.


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Carthago delenda est
August 31, 2019, 02:24 PM
ZSMICHAEL
New Zealand and the United States are the only countries in the world that allow drug companies to run TV ads. I am sick of seeing them as well. They sell more drugs this way.