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goodheart |
In the days of Facebook, every married person is only a search and a click away from finding an old flame. Would you look one up? Would you respond if one contacted you? You know it’s a bad choice, in the vast majority of cases. Since it’s so easy to find someone, I don’t think one should assume the worst, and it’s clear your wife is the one who’s disturbed by the contact, so that’s the most important thing. I can’t argue with what you’ve done, Outnumbered. Mostly just pointing out how tempting it is to click our way to a possible unwanted and unnecessary problem. _________________________ “ What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.”— Lord Melbourne | |||
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| Cut and plug |
outnumbered, I would side with the ignore group. I would also strongly suggest that you read this book: The Gift of Fear by Gavin Debecker. He details how to tell if a stalker is dangerous and how most of the time it is best to not engage. It’s an easy read and it will help your protect your family. Stay safe. | |||
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| Low Profile Member |
definitely no. ignore and block | |||
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| Ugly Bag of Mostly Water  |
Respond with 'Nope. Wrong number.' Then block their number. Endowment Life Member, NRA • Member, Gun Owners of America & Member, Arizona Citizens Defense League | |||
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| Member |
Creepy? Yep. Stalker? Not unless it becomes more persistent. I might let it slide, so far. But, you need to do your own due diligence here. Research him to see what he has been into since college. Dope? Criminal record? Multiple jobs? Divorces? Alcohol? This research will give you some insight as to what his intent may be. End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles | |||
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Oriental Redneck |
Not stalker? Read again.
Q | |||
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Member |
Absolutely do not text back..note the number and block it. He has shown in the past that he had tried to mettle into her past marriage. By asking are you happy. If he can get your current address be alert. He is a stalker and should be treated as such. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ | |||
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| Member |
I read the whole post. I am referring to what may meet the legal standard of stalking in their locality. Most laws will state what actions will legally constitute a stalking charge. Once every 15 years may not meet the standard. End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles | |||
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semi-reformed sailor |
I wouldn’t respond, but I’d keep the number on my phone so if it goes any further I’d be able to present it to the cops. "Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.” Robert A. Heinlein “You may beat me, but you will never win.” sigmonkey-2020 “A single round of buckshot to the torso almost always results in an immediate change of behavior.” Chris Baker | |||
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Funny Man |
3 times in 20 years is not stalking, sorry. My assessment is based on the fact that when he reached out in the past and was told she wasn't interested the guy went away for years at a time. I think ignoring him is potentially worse as it may cause him to keep trying to find her, perhaps innocently in his mind, only to make him seem more stalkerish. If she doesn't feel comfortable replying then I think the OP should. Just call him, let him know that his inquiries are making the lady uncomfortable and that any future contact will be assumed to be hostile now that he knows definitively that he is not welcome. The dude sounds like a hopeless romantic who pines for the unrequited love of his life. Everyone who fails to understand social norms is not potentially lethal. ______________________________ “I'd like to know why well-educated idiots keep apologizing for lazy and complaining people who think the world owes them a living.” ― John Wayne | |||
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| Eye on the Silver Lining |
Ignore. I would be watchful for the next little bit. You’ve got to wonder what triggered him to reach out. Was the number that texted her local? __________________________ "Trust, but verify." | |||
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| The success of a solution usually depends upon your point of view |
Give us the number.  “We truly live in a wondrous age of stupid.” - 83v45magna "I think it's important that people understand free speech doesn't mean free from consequences societally or politically or culturally." -Pranjit Kalita, founder and CIO of Birkoa Capital Management | |||
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| Oriental Redneck |
Best advice in this thread. Q | |||
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| Member |
He’s trying to reconnect with the one that got away. He going about it awkwardly but almost any attempt will be awkward. 30 years ago options were much more limited. Now with google contact info is easy to find. He texted instead of calling. That’s a more cautious approach and less awkward for both sides than an actual conversation. I’d lean towards harmless but be wary. I’d ignore the text and move on with life. If he tries again I’d tell him not interested don’t contact. Anything further from him after being told not interested don’t contact becalmed actionable. | |||
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| Go ahead punk, make my day |
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| Team Apathy |
I’m in this camp and have been since the original post. At this point it isn’t alarming, just unwelcome. He should be told in very clear manner that his attempts at contact are not welcome and to move along. Attempts to contact after that are treated differently but in our day and age tracking someone down takes little effort. That act in and of itself is not a big deal. Either you or your wife needs to tell him to take a hike, whichever she prefers. | |||
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| Member |
Either ignore it and block the number. Or simply reply saying that it is the wrong person. | |||
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Alea iacta est |
She should just reply “Sorry bro, you’re hitting up a dude. Wrong number. Good luck in your quest”. He won’t text back. lol The “lol” thread | |||
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| The Ice Cream Man |
This is a joke, but you could always get a friend with a bass voice to call and say her name was George, now... | |||
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| Too old to run, too mean to quit! |
I only dated one girl before I went in the army, to Germany where I met my wife of 60+ years now. And that girl I dated? I took her to the Freshman Ball in high school. As to the knothead stalking your wife. . . If possible, text him and tell him if he does stop, forthwith, that you will press charges against him. Elk There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour) "To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. " -Thomas Jefferson "America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville FBHO!!! The Idaho Elk Hunter | |||
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