While in class today my cell phone vibrated to let me know there was a phone call. I really don't get many calls during the day and use an app that blocks most calls. In between classes I saw I had a voce mail.
It seems that there are 4 warrants out for my arrest and if I don't call back the police will be out to arrest me Saturday. My app said the phone number given is linked to a credit card scam. I will be pretty embarrassed tomorrow at my son's wedding when the police come to arrest me.
Living the Dream
You may have committed a horrendous crime or been part of a conspiracy to do some unspeakable evil you have forgotten about. When was the last time you pulled the tag off of a pillow?
My other Sig is a Steyr...
|I have not yet begun |
Don't let them take you alive. Go out in a blaze of gory glory!
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
I was told the same thing about 6 months ago. They still haven't shown up and neither has the IRS. I'm getting suspicious.
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning" -Catherine Aird
HAVE NO FEAR!! For the low low price of $1499, I will happily take care of those warrants for you!
Did I say $1499, I meant $1099.
Hello? Hell . . . <<buzzz>> Huh, they hung up.
"Ultima Ratio Regum"
Life Member NRA
Member Washington Arms Collectors
The designer of the gun had clearly not been instructed to beat about the bush. 'Make it evil,' he'd been told. 'Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with.'
|Almost as Fast as a Speeding Bullet|
The IRS called me, but didn't seem to want to talk to my accountant. Weird
Aeronautics confers beauty and grandeur, combining art and science for those who devote themselves to it. . . . The aeronaut, free in space, sailing in the infinite, loses himself in the immense undulations of nature. He climbs, he rises, he soars, he reigns, he hurtles the proud vault of the azure sky. — Georges Besançon
Just call them back and let them know you're currently in talks with an American soldier who needs to transfer to you millions in gold bullion he captured in Iraq and you will gladly pay any fines that are attached to those warrants once you've secured those funds.
"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"
Wish i was going to jail. Mostly i just get calls from Rachel with Consumer Services about my credit card account.
While you may be able to get away with bottom shelf whiskey, stay the hell away from bottom shelf tequila. - FishOn
|Plowing straight ahead come what may|
I'll be in the cell next to you "when the cops at my door" arrest me for the three "serious" warrants out for me in New York are served, if I "don't call this number"...
I'll request a cell with a good window view for us all
"we've gotta roll with the punches, learn to play all of our hunches
Making the best of what ever comes our way
Forget that blind ambition and learn to trust your intuition
Plowing straight ahead come what may
And theres a cowboy in the jungle"
|Dances With |
Yeah, I keep getting the same calls, over and over.
I finally began to tell them to send a really pretty and hawt red head female cop, wearing high heels and leather mini skirt, to my door and to tell her to have the handcuffs dangling from her freshly manicured red fingertips. No problem, I'm perfectly willing to be compliant.
So far, nothing. They keep calling, I keep telling them my request. I'm so disappointed.
Take your piece and plenty of mags with you to the wedding just in case.
Go out in a blaze of glory.
NRA Life Endowment member
Tri-State Gun collectors Life Member
|This Space for Rent|
Was it Steve Martin that called? He called us last year and said something similar. Still waiting......
We will never know world peace, until three people can simultaneously look each other straight in the eye
Liberals are like pussycats and Twitter is Trump's laser pointer to keep them busy while he takes care of business - Rey HRH.
|Delusions of Adequacy|
You're in luck. They'll accept an iTunes gift card for your bail.
I have my own style of humor. I call it Snarkasm.
|Step by step walk the thousand mile road|
Call them back and tell them that if you're already going to jail finding and murdering their entire family probably won't be a big deal.
Nice is overrated
"It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government."
Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018
|Web Clavin Extraordinaire|
Head to Wal-Mart and get a bunch of gift cards, stat! That'll get rid of those warrants lickety split.
Chuck Norris put the laughter in "manslaughter"
Educating the youth of America, one declension at a time.
Told them to come out. I’d be in the back with the rifle, next to the wood chipper.
Better, I have a very loud whistle.
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”
― Samuel Adams
|Page late and a dollar short|
Say hi to my wife, the IRS threatened my wife with jail for the second time in a month........
I think the reason she didn't reply to the voicemail is that she wants a vacation from me.......
Douglas MacArthur: “Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.”
Apparently Rachael is one cheating slut. I thought she was all mine.
Ask them why they don't get an honest job. That really frosts them.
|E tan e epi tas|
I have warrants for my arrest in St. Thomas and the Virgin Islands. That’s right I am a bad mother.....I should shut my mouth.
Sigh what bugs me is there are folks who actually buy this shit.
I mean seriously one murder in St. Thomas......it was vacations and a cruise excursion to boot, it’s not like they mattered.
"Guns are tools. The only weapon ever created was man."
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