quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:

quote:

Originally posted by BigSwede:
^^^^ There are things that could be worked out except for those damned kids, not happening.

This right there.

That's an immovable object. My error was in thinking I was the one judging too harshly because my daughters are older and I thought I was just not used to how kids that age behaved.
The last straw for me was when the 11yo boy was told to relinquish his phone for smacking his sister and his response was to run across the street to beg his neighbor to call the cops claiming mom had beaten him.
That's when my hand went for the eject button.

Yep, get the hell out of there, before you get in any deeper. Be strong. Don't be like this Costanza guy.

No experience here... married my high school sweetheart 41 years ago. Rough patches for sure but worked through all of them successfully. And the screwed up kids belong to us both

I will say... you deserve to be happy and while you feel for her situation (asshole EX, and screwed up kids), you had no part in putting her in that situation and bear no responsibility to fix any of it. Quite the opposite. From your comments, I am thinking she is the one not ready to move on.

My 2-cents... worth about half that

Nope. It's not. Move on.

quote:

Originally posted by BigSwede:
It does suck. ...it would be to not date seriously for at least a year or more...

My relationships have always worked out great.

Well, There is the time that she left the state... And the other time I threw the engagement ring and two wedding bands into Lake Lanier...

Yeah, um... You're not alone in this journey. I hope it works out the best way possible for you.

quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:
That's the benefit of having the experience and wisdom that comes from our age. We know how to keep one hand on the eject button and aren't afraid to use it.

What happened to ^^^ this guy?

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:

I say suck it up, put on your big boy pants, and be honest. Breakups are awful and messy, but while lying or being vague about the reason might make you feel a little better in the short run, it's worse in the long run for both parties.

A little scar tissue may help you to not repeat the mistake.

Just tell her you now identify as a woman, but, not gay. This identity is fluid and subject to change. So, it is not her, but you

Sorry to read that.

I'm going to suggest a book for you that is called Boundaries in Dating. It's a Christian book, but the thing that I took away from it was being more intentional with boundaries so I don't rocket from meeting someone to spending 100% of my time with them and then broken up in a span of 2 or 3 months.

quote:

Originally posted by tatortodd:
Sorry to read that.

I'm going to suggest a book for you that is called Boundaries in Dating. It's a Christian book, but the thing that I took away from it was being more intentional with boundaries so I don't rocket from meeting someone to spending 100% of my time with them and then broken up in a span of 2 or 3 months.

Thanks. I just picked it up on my Kindle.

quote:

Originally posted by mojojojo:

Sorry to hear about your situation but, having gotten divorced a few years ago myself, I agree that you need to take time for yourself first before anything serious. Good luck to you - I think you're doing the right thing for both of you.

Thanks. I really appreciate that.

quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:

quote:

Originally posted by mojojojo:

Sorry to hear about your situation but, having gotten divorced a few years ago myself, I agree that you need to take time for yourself first before anything serious. Good luck to you - I think you're doing the right thing for both of you.

Thanks. I really appreciate that.

And for goodness sake, don't rebound into a second marriage. There are women out there just eager to pounce on you.

quote:

Originally posted by GWbiker:

quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:

quote:

Originally posted by mojojojo:

Sorry to hear about your situation but, having gotten divorced a few years ago myself, I agree that you need to take time for yourself first before anything serious. Good luck to you - I think you're doing the right thing for both of you.

Thanks. I really appreciate that.

And for goodness sake, don't rebound into a second marriage. There are women out there just eager to pounce on you.

I hear that.
My dog, my motorcycle, and my guitar are going to monopolize my next year or so. All three have proven to bring me unconditional love and happiness.

I am really, really good at a couple of things.

Unfortunately, ending relationships are not either of those things.

Very very expensive and painful shortcoming.

I hope you do better.

Let us know how the conversation went.

quote:

Originally posted by mojojojo:
having gotten divorced a few years ago myself, I agree that you need to take time for yourself first before anything serious.

I agree with mojojojo. My "brother from another mother" and I talk about this a lot, each of us having been through it as well. Our discussions come down to, "Maintain your path. Find your path -- the path YOU want to take through life -- and get on it. Stay on it. Don't let anyone -- especially a potential mate -- distract you from your path. Unless, of course, it's a destructive path. When you find someone who's willing to travel your path with you and be a partner and a teammate, THEN you can consider making it long-term. Maintain your path."

My "adopted sister" has a daughter who has made a bad decision or two. But to her credit she gave her mom this good advice about dating and baggage: "Mom, everybody's got baggage. You just need to find someone who's willing to help you unpack." Not bad advice, I think.

Good luck, sir. Rock that guitar, ride that motorcycle, and love the heck outta that dog. Maintain your path.

Best advice, if you are willing to give up what you love for someone but they make you give it up RUN!!!

Cut her loose..
You've got to do what is best for #1, YOU.
Those kids will ALWAYS be her kids.

Learn from the relationship and don't repeat it.
There is no shame in being alone for awhile.
Do what you want, when you want.
Perhaps meet someone and keep it as friends in the future.

I was divorced 14 years, finally happy on my own after a couple failed relationships.
Then met my current wife.
Neither of us had any intention of getting married again.
That was 13 years ago...

Good luck to you..1LL

Yeah, as many have said, you need to bail out quick. My only advice is to keep your final conversation short. People always over talk unpleasant things like this. There is no need to go into the whys and wheres of anything. She is who she is and is not going to just become another person to keep you around...even though she may say she will do that. Her kids will ALWAYS be her kids until the day she dies.

Nope, keep your conversation short and succinct and head for the door. I don't mean to sound uncaring but I am convinced this is the best way to handle it with the least amount of pain for either of you.

No update from Ryan after Friday. Wonder if he’s MIA, or just still in relationship on a do-over?

We can start a betting pool on whether he did it or not