So tight he could squeeze the buffalo off a nickel.

"Make groceries"; Baton Rouge for "go buy groceries".

"Richer than nine foot up a bull's ass"-very wealthy.

quote:

Originally posted by cne32507:
"Make groceries"; Baton Rouge for "go buy groceries".

in these parts, that is a country saying, or hood saying,

you hear it mostly from folks of color, but not always,

He's so tight, he'll shit in a bucket of water and skim the tallow off the top to make soap.

He's more nervous than a whore in church.

"Went to shit and the hogs ate him"; Colobraska for Late.

From college days. These had to do with too much alcohol in too little time:

"Technicolor yawn"

"Calling Ralph on the Big White Phone"

Not certain they are regional, but I never heard these outside the Boston area.

More confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar.

Lost like last years Easter Egg.

Eat up like a soup sandwich.

Hornier than a billy goat with two dicks

Son, you are trying to tree a catfish.

Son, you are deer fishing in a trout pond.

Rode hard and put up wet.

Up and down like a jockey's balls

Eyes like pissholes in the snow

Flatter than a witch's tit

"Smarter than a tree full of owls."

Drunker than Cooter Brown.

That’s like trying to screw standing up in a hammock!

It's rainin' like a cow pissing on a flat rock!

flat out like a lizard drinkin

and
green side up

That boy is as big as an Ox. And just as smart.

Another one that I haven't heard much since leaving New England:

"Never teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig."

It's colder than a monkey's balls on ice!

Cleveland for it's cold outside.

I've heard it more than once in different places.

Don't know how regional these are but I heard these from my parents who were from Kentucky;

When trying to help my dad but just getting in his way he'd say "You let Jessie rob this train"

My mom would always say "I'm goin' over town" when she left to run errands

When we were getting ready to work out in the yard or garden my dad would say "Don't forget your hand-shoes" (gloves)

A friend of mine from Vermont used to say "bull and jam" or "he's a bull and jammer" which he said meant , basically, some people don't try to find out why something is immovable or doesn't work, they just push harder or get a bigger hammer.

Regional variations on a couple already posted:

He's so crooked, when he dies they'll have to screw him into the ground.

He's so tight he'd strain a fart for the grease.

When asked how are you doing--reply=== "on top of the dirt"===="it"s better to be seen than viewed"=======or== fine as a frogs hair split 4 ways======== .......drill sgt.