The only reason I ever bought Arma 2 & logged into DayZ. Was because of the beautiful tales ASG weaved.

This was a really good read last night, pity I didn't see it when it was happening.

I play on public vent servers all the time - since my pc sucks I'm resigned to being a low-life WoW carebear.

It does get me lots of positive attention from the ladies the wife though (She plays, too)


Anyway, looks like it would've been fun trying it out, since both my boys have Steam accounts.

A nice thing about this server is the money. On previous servers, the money was in the form of gold and silver bricks. It was dumb. You want to buy a car? Better bring 60 pounds of worthless metal along with you. Why is anyone even still here? You wander into Chernarus and make enough in five minutes to retire like a king in Mexico, or perhaps a smaller duke in like Montana, not a powerful one, but you could probably have a few people killed without anybody asking too many questions.

Here, as far as I can tell, the gold is still there, but I think it's for crafting, or maybe just some sort of vestigial bit leftover. It's a money appendix. Instead, there's just money. You wanna buy a car? Better bring a wad of cash that weighs as much as a small sandwich, might even have to put it in an envelope cuz it might not all fit in your wallet.

I spent some time in the trader city of Stary Sobor, because the trader city is ALWAY Stary Sobor, scavving while Throberella was jerking off, or something. I don't remember why he wasn't there. For whatever reason, lots of phat loots was spawning, fancy assault rifles, rare ammunition, a fishing pole, the stuff kids dream about. And here I am, just turning it in, like it's aluminum cans or return bottles. Those also spawned, but why clutter my inventory with that shit, when I can get $5,000 for an SVD?

Pretty soon I had a chunk of change, and it's not safe on you. The asshole "journalist" who killed me? I mugged him after I came back. Rifled through his pockets, took his money and whatever else he had, and split. He only had $3,500 on him, and that seemed like a lot, and now I'm closing in on $100k just picking up litter. Time to think about my future! I got so much I wanna do. I wanna dress up as police, get some militsiya cars, go patrol Balota, shoot us some looters, I wanna buy one of those T34s they got sitting out front of the city, I know I said I didn't want tanks, but shit, it's T34! That's cooler than ANOTHER asshole running around in a Stryker. The T34 is like a classic car, but with a cannon on top.

I'm starting to get paranoid, been in the city for a while, folks seen me doing recycling patrol, do they know how much money I got on me? I could be in some real danger. I need to put the money somewhere, but there's no banks. I'll need a safe, but before that I need a place to put it. Can't put it in the city, or even within 500 meters of the city. I need a little house somewhere.

I get out my map and have a look. Stary Sobor is smack dab in the middle of the map, the kind of place you'd put a trading city if you had no idea how trade actually works. My immersion, guys, my fuckin' immersion! Put it in one of the cities on the coast! Where do all the goods come in from? You're not even on an airfield! It's just a large collection of buildings jammed in the middle of the map in typical Soviet fashion.

Right, right, a place to call "home." Pickins is slim, it's lots of open farmland and some woods, but to the southwest is the town of Rogovo, well outside the 500 meter exclusion zone. It'll have a barn, or maybe one of those delicious and rare open houses.

By this time, Throberella and Miller had showed up, and we'd gotten Miller reaquanted with the controls, reminding him that it's not a shooter, or even really an action game, it's a camping simulator. We are going camping, with machine guns, and instead of cougars and big feets to worry about, there's zombies, and other guys with machine guns. So like going camping in Spanaway.

We're gonna go on a scouting mission, check out Rogovo and see if it's a suitable spot to set up camp. Things could get hairy, I've now got $150k on me after a guy paid me $50k to be his friend and give him blood. Hey, whatever, no judgment, whatever gets you off buddy. So we gotta be careful, lets not make a bunch of noise, we'll just hop on our Huffys and ride.

The trip there is uneventful, a suitable location is found, a quaint little house on the edge of town with it's bathroom only accessible from the outside. Not an outhouse, it's another room attached to the house, except that there's only the one door and it's outside. Goddamn, what is wrong with these Slavic countries and their architecture? Like half the year you're living in a frozen wasteland, snowbanks higher than your house, and if you need to poop you gotta go outside first? What? No wonder you guys lost the Cold War.

So we saddle up, except Miller, who's decided he needs to get ALL the STANAG magazines from some shed, we don't need them, we'll find some more, now it's time to get outta here, we're waiting on YOU, Miller, because if we ride off, you'll lose your fucking shit and bitch about how there's no point to playing if we're split up. We must all be within ball-touching distance at all times, otherwise there's no point in playing at all, and he'll quit to go play something completely alone. Miller is something of a Goldilocks gamer.

Finally he finishes his scavving and we can go.

It's such a lovely day, we'll ride up towards Kabanino then turn left on the main road that leads back to Stary Sobor. The Sun is out, the sky is blue, the birds are chirping, someone is firing a large gun somewhere to the East, where we must go. Oh good.

The kill feed keeps lighting up, the side chat filled with complaints of bandits, and the droning of a helicopter and sounds of explosions make me feel uneasy. But, we're just three dudes, an Israeli, a Orthodox Priest, and a 5.11 catalog model out for a ride, surely nobody will bother us.

And then I exploded.

Welcome to DayZ.

God dammit. What is the ip? Same mumble server?

quote:

Originally posted by KevinCW:
God dammit. What is the ip? Same mumble server?

Ooooooh, I dunno if you wanna do that. We all just bought H1Z1 because it was on sale. I feel a little like a tool (another zombie game? Gaaawwwl, unoriginal much?), but it runs pretty smooth, it's not nearly as clunky as DayZ, it's got crafting that you learn, the emphasis is more on PvP though as far as I can tell.

I got in with Throberella and Nala, they'd been playing for a few hours already so they had it figured out some. Met some folks, said "hi" and then scampered off so they couldnt steal my tarp. Punched a Hitler looking zombie to death. Wandered some more. Punched a lesbian zombie to death, then a real boy ran up and punched me to death, like a real twat. I was hurt bad, so I'm sure he felt like a Real Mans.

Respawned, figured out how to craft dome basic shit and set out to find Nala and Throbbertina. Throbbert found some guys fighting with bows and decided he just had to talk to them. They killed him.

Finally, we all meet up and scav a cluster of wrecked vehicles. Suddenly we hear a gunshot, and in the distance a figure is running at us. I make my way up the bank of the river to get s better position, he comes right for me. Speaking of tools, this assclown is dressed in rastafarian colors, red, yellow, and green just full on 4-twomp blaze it up smoke pot everyday regalia.

"Drop all your ammo, bro," he says to me.

He sees that I have an AK, but not that I have no ammo, number one. Number two, fuuuuuuuuuuuck you. I pull my bow out and start shooting him from make out distance, can't hit him, but he's spooked. Switch to my stick, literally a stick, like a piece of alder, not even a good wood for whompin. I start swinging, and like the sopping wet pussy he is, he starts hopping, and trying to get a bead on me, he clearly is low on ammo though.

About this time Nala comes running up with a machete. White Bob Marley takes a shot at her and misses.

Then here comes Throbbert, a muscular black man in bright blue underoos, shooting with his bow. Iur new friend realized he is good and fucked, so he turns and runs, with us chasing and firing arrows. I keep shouting after him, "Where you goin', bro? Where you goin'?"

He managed to outpace us and escaped across the river, but I think he learned an important lesson, if you're going to rob somebody, make sure you can follow through.

Link to original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?...ojQ&feature=youtu.be

So, have you guys checked out this game?:

http://escapefromtarkov.com/

quote:

Originally posted by Jester814:
So, have you guys checked out this game?:

No. H1Z1 was something of a fluke, but a happy one. We generally don't go out for anything unless it's close to being done, been burned too many times by that pre-release shit. I'm of the opinion, generally speaking, that Early Access is the game, and as long as folks keep buying it, they'll keep updating it. Once the flow stops they'll either abandon it, or claim it's finished.

I wont be bringing this to the attention of the other nerds, we've already got Miller, our Goldilocks player. I mean, we are balls deep in H1Z1 right now, just having a good time, the other day we played for hours. I got good and drunk and ended up screaming at some Russians that Hitler was right to invade them, and then I played Dancing Queen for them. In fact, I started attacking everyone I found while screaming the lyrics to Dancing Queen. It was glorious fun, just tops.

Then the next day Miller is like, "Hey, lets try this 7 Days to Die!" What the fuck, guybro, we just bought this game like 5 days ago, and already you need another? That boy has got some problems.

I got a hankerin' for some A2 Day-Z the other day. Went to install it and I have totally forgotten how, so I said fuck it.

quote:

Originally posted by Gravebone:
I got a hankerin' for some A2 Day-Z the other day. Went to install it and I have totally forgotten how, so I said fuck it.

Welcome to DayZ.

quote:

Originally posted by airsoft guy:

quote:

Originally posted by Gravebone:
I got a hankerin' for some A2 Day-Z the other day. Went to install it and I have totally forgotten how, so I said fuck it.

Welcome to DayZ.

On a side note, I fired up Day-Z SA the other day. Wandered around for 3 hours and made it to the NWAF. Got an AK47 and a couple mags, tried to find people to kill...didn't see a soul the entire time on a 30/50 server. Fun?

quote:

Originally posted by Gravebone:

quote:

Originally posted by airsoft guy:

quote:

Originally posted by Gravebone:
I got a hankerin' for some A2 Day-Z the other day. Went to install it and I have totally forgotten how, so I said fuck it.

Welcome to DayZ.

On a side note, I fired up Day-Z SA the other day. Wandered around for 3 hours and made it to the NWAF. Got an AK47 and a couple mags, tried to find people to kill...didn't see a soul the entire time on a 30/50 server. Fun?

That's been my experience too. About the only time I saw anyone was either a fresh spawn, or some guy totally kitted out like a Russian Rambo. Still no zombies, either, they really ought to say something about that on the Steam page, big ol' blocky letters, "Hey guys, we took the zombies out for the time being because they're messing up or something. Just a heads up." Until they put the zombies back in, it's just Camping Simulator 2016.

Camping with psychos... probably better than some people's boy scout camp experiences though.

Squad's Beta(I think it's beta) release is available on Steam now...just sayin.

I haven't figured out all the details on it yet, but it seems fun when you squad communicates and conquers.

Squad is awesome! If you have a team that knows their roles. Very playable at this stage.

quote:

Originally posted by Skull Leader:
Squad is awesome! If you have a team that knows their roles. Very playable at this stage.

It do look sexy, but like I said, I'll wait some. Being more of a casual skrublord I know it looks balla as fuck, but I also know it'll probably frustrate me to no end, especially if I don't have a squad I can depend on.

I could probably look it up, but does it, or will it, have bot support? Because it seems very much like Red Orchestra, and that's something I like playing at odd hours due to bot support. Good middle of the night, all the other nerds have gone to bed kind of game.

Just a little bumperoo to keep it from getting lost.

Another bump to keep from getting pruned.

Sigh. My days of video game singledom are over....

Popped into some H1Z1 the other night as I guess there was a big fancy update and servers got wiped for it. Tried getting into a low population server, still got rolled by a group of like 8 or 10 fucksticks who seemed to have unlimited molotov cokctails. Killed us, and then proceeded to trash all our stuff.

Hard Work Wasted Simulator 2016, yo.