I like when people, especially those from countries where gun ownership is banned, ask:

"Do you have a gun?"

I usually say, "well no, I don't have *a* gun..."

quote:

Originally posted by Excam_Man:
Can I get two scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough, please?

Reminds me of my favorite joke - An elderly lady goes into an ice cream shop. The shop attendant comes to wait on her and asks " what can I get for you today, ma'am? She replies "I would like two scoops of chocolate, please."
The attendant replies " Ma/am - I am sorry but we had an unexpected rush order for a birthday party this morning and we are completely out of chocolate. Can I get you something else?"
She smiles and replies That's OK. I would like one scoop of vanilla and one scoop of chocolate"
The attendant grits his teeth - "Ma'am, I am sorry but we are out of chocolate. Let me get you something else. I can give you three scoops for the price of two to make up for this inconvenience."
The lady replies "Oh how sweet! I'll have one scoop of vanilla, one scoop of strawberry, and one scoop of chocolate."
The attendant, at his wit's end, asks the lady "Ma'am - how do you spell the VAN in vanilla? She ponders for a second and replies "V-A-N."
"That's right" says the attendant. "How do you spell the RAW in strawberry? She perks up and says "R-A-W." That's correct" he says "Now, how do you spell the FUCK in chocolate?" Somewhat confounded, she says "F-U-C...wait a minute - there's no fuck in chocolate!"
"Damn it lady - that's what I've been trying to tell you - THERE'S NO FUCKIN' CHOCOLATE!!"

Actually, it's none of your or anybody else's business....this is a public forum.

The last person that asked me that I asked him how much money does he make a year as a barber, Which is his procession………….No further questions; he understood where I was going.

Not nearly enough…

If you can count them you don't have enough

quote:

Originally posted by joatmonv:
More than some, less than others.

Hey, me too.

quote:

Originally posted by pedropcola:
Guns are dangerous. Especially glocks and their switches. I prefer cat puzzles.

Hmm. I like cat puzzles. Probably should switch hobbies. Sounds safer.

My number one rule…no counting.

Five handguns, two rifles, one shotgun.

Ummm. I know the last gun I bought is specifically a wall hanger. Its an 1899 Ithica double with twist steel barrels, 12 ga. Too much handling has the stripes worn shiney.

The first gun was my grandfathers 1884 Springfield, that I no longer have. It now lives at my son's house. Hasn't been fired (or cleaned) in decades. I only assume that because he never cleans his guns. And he has no ammo because you can't buy ammo these days. He doesn't reload.

There, those are the end points. With my fading memory, I can probably discuss some of the others at great length. But the OP here asked the impolite question of how many. OK, at one point in time I owned 0, like before I was 13 or 14. Then when I was maybe 50 I owned 300!

Realized that was way too many, so I started selling. The current number is between those extremes, I think. There, I gave the most complete answer so far.

Oh wait... Too late. Am I supposed to include muzzle loading and breech loading cannons?

Why, what do you need?

I own none…they own me …plus they can be dangerous if you allow yourself to own them and don’t keep them locked up (never give in to their whining, screaming or scratching at the safe door they will get over it…seriously, I don’t own any at all, I’m more of a “sharp pointy stick” kinda guy (safer in the long run ) …I’m just here for the cat thread

My libtard Aunt: <In a condescending tone> “How many guns do you have?”
Me: “I’ll answer that question, but first you answer mine. How often do you masturbate?”
Aunt: “That’s none of your business!!”
Me: “Looks like you’ve answered your own question.”

quote:

Originally posted by joatmonv:
More than some, less than others.

that is my standard answer,

I always say “more than I need, less than I want”

Not one single one.
The Trust owns them.

Did anyone get a shipment of chocolate ice cream?