In a couple of my 45s I currently am using Federal Hydra-Shok Deep 210gr. It's supposed to be good stuff. Otherwise I still use the Federal HST 230 gr.

Gold Dot 124+P or Federal.
Lots of testing and real world data out there and I've run them through the guns I own with zero issues.
Too many other variables to predict exactly how it would function in the incredibly unlikely event you needed it.
Remember, 380 hard nose kills a lot of people. There were lots of threads when I started carrying (early 2000's) about penetration, expansion and other issues and there seem to be fewer nowadays since the science behind them has improved.

Speed kills. Give me the fast 115 grain in 9mm all day long, rather than the slower 147.
.357 Sig in 125 is the ideal round. The numbers don't lie

In my EDC it’s SPeer Gold Dot 9mm 124. That’s what I carried as a cop. I know it works.

Every other gun is just to play with and I tend to stick with what the sights are regulated for.
my S&W mod60 has fixed sights and is regulated to 158grain ammo. So I reload to that spec. I do use it to shoot 148 wad cutters. Same with my S&W Victory Model my grandfather gave me.
My 1911 - 230 ball

My 2011 USPSA gun is in 40 and I shoot 180s to get the major power factor.

Rifles is a whole different animal. When I hunted I chose the bullet construction over weight-I can adjust the scope.
For my M4gery, I use M193 55grain FMJ. Cause I have a boatload of it. But it’s just a gun to play with now. (My department issued Remington 55grain PSP ammo and we had to use it until they ran thru it and went to Speer GD 62 grain.)