The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
May 29, 2019, 10:36 AM
ArtieS
quote:
Originally posted by RichardC:
quote:
Originally posted by ArtieS: What's a snail say when riding on a tortoise?
WHEEEEEE!
That's way too funny for tbis thread.
Ok, I'll try to do better...
What's red and green and goes 200 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits your windshield?
Its asshole.
ETA: Where's Gibby29? He's got a million of 'em...This message has been edited. Last edited by: ArtieS,
"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."
Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
May 29, 2019, 10:55 AM
2000Z-71
When geese fly in a V, why is one side longer than the other?
More geese on that side.
My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball.
May 29, 2019, 11:09 AM
2000Z-71
Little Jonny West Virginian was having a birthday. His folks didn't know what to give him, soothes asked him. Little Johnny didn't know what he wanted so he thought and he thought and he bit over his lower lip with his overbite that cried out for orthodontia and he thought some more. Finally he yelled out,
"I wanna' watch!"
So the next night they let him.
My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball.
May 29, 2019, 03:18 PM
zoom6zoom
I have a pet bird who can predict the future.
He’s an omen pigeon.
I have my own style of humor. I call it Snarkasm.
May 29, 2019, 03:18 PM
Jus228
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
They’re both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.
!~God Bless the U.S. Military~!
If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off
Light travels faster than sound, this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
May 29, 2019, 07:38 PM
SigSauerP226
What do you call a food fight with oranges?
Navel warfare.
Groaner and I made it up today for some reason at work.
...Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way...
May 29, 2019, 08:20 PM
.38supersig
Black and white and red all over?
Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.
May 29, 2019, 09:51 PM
urbanwarrior238
Q-How did Helen Keller burn her ear?
A-Answering the iron
'I am the danger'...Hiesenberg NRA Certified Pistol Instructor NRA Certified Rifle Instructor NRA Life Member
May 29, 2019, 11:00 PM
OneWheelDrive
quote:
Originally posted by cne32507: If you are an American when you go into a bathroom, when you come out you are still an American. What are you while you are in the bathroom? . .When you come out you're Finnish. . . . . European
================================================ Ultron: "You're unbearably naive." Vision: "Well, I was born yesterday."
May 30, 2019, 09:33 AM
maxdog
What’s black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?
A dead nun rolling down a hill.
May 30, 2019, 12:52 PM
zoom6zoom
A wife is like a hand grenade. If the ring comes off, you can say good bye to your house.
I have my own style of humor. I call it Snarkasm.
May 30, 2019, 05:17 PM
villageidiot
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A. A Gummy Bear VI
May 30, 2019, 08:15 PM
TigerDore
What do you call a dog with four legs, a tail and no head?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming anyway.
.
May 30, 2019, 08:20 PM
tk13
quote:
Originally posted by urbanwarrior238: Q-How did Helen Keller burn her ear?
A-Answering the iron
How did she burn the other ear?
They called back.
May 30, 2019, 08:32 PM
TigerDore
What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that will make them cry?
Throw a coconut at their head.
.
May 30, 2019, 09:43 PM
Captain Morgan
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of a boat?
If they fell towards they would land in the boat.
Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows. Benjamin Franklin