SIGforum
Post your groaner jokes here. (Jokes that a 3rd grader would cull.)
May 28, 2019, 05:40 PM
ArtieSPost your groaner jokes here. (Jokes that a 3rd grader would cull.)
There are two types of people in the world; those who require closure...
"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."
Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
May 28, 2019, 05:43 PM
OzarkwoodsLittle Timmy: “Mommy, Mommy why am I walking in a circle?”
Mommy: “Shutup or I’ll nail your other shoe to the floor”
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
May 28, 2019, 05:51 PM
.38supersigThere are 10 kinds of people:
Those that know binary code, and those who don't.
May 28, 2019, 05:53 PM
tk133rd Grade safe:
A man walks into his psychiatrist's office and says: "Help, doc. I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee."
The doctor says: "You're just two (too) tents (tense).
Not 3rd Grade safe:
A man walks into his psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The doctor says: "I can clearly see you're (your) nuts."
May 28, 2019, 06:27 PM
Tuckerrnr1How do you make a Venician blind?
You poke him in the eye.
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I may be a bad person, but at least I use my turn signal.
May 28, 2019, 06:51 PM
RichardCquote:
Originally posted by ArtieS:
What's a snail say when riding on a tortoise?
WHEEEEEE!
That's way too funny for tbis thread.
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May 28, 2019, 07:14 PM
4x5What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk!
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ May 28, 2019, 07:47 PM
pawprintsdocWhat did one eye say to the other?
“Psssst...between you and me, something smells”
May 28, 2019, 07:48 PM
egregoreWhat did one hat say to the other? "You stay here, I'll go on ahead."
May 28, 2019, 07:52 PM
bubbatimequote:
Originally posted by egregore:
YES!!! haha
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Often times a very small man can cast a very large shadow
May 28, 2019, 08:26 PM
low8optionFrom about the time of my third grade.
How do you make anti-freeze?
Steal her undies.
Freedom comes from the will of man. In America it is guaranteed by the 2nd Amendment May 28, 2019, 08:39 PM
eltonrwhy can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
because the 'p' is silent.....
May 28, 2019, 08:58 PM
cndrdkWhat did one fly say to the other fly?
"your man is open"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
"to show an armadillo it could be done"
May 28, 2019, 09:07 PM
VonFatmanwhat's black and white and red (read) all over?
a newspaper
May 28, 2019, 09:36 PM
JDHunzWhy don’t you see elephants hiding in trees???
Because they’re so good at it...
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"Those that can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others..."
May 28, 2019, 09:48 PM
RogueJSKA man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man ordered a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, and both the man and giraffe proceed to slam down shot after shot.
After numerous rounds, the giraffe passes out on the floor.
The man tosses some money on the bar, gets up, and stumbles to the door.
As he's heading out, the bartender points at the passed-out giraffe and calls after him: "Hey buddy... You can't leave that lyin' there!"
The man turns and blearily replies "Nah, it'sh not a lion... It'sh a giraffe".
May 28, 2019, 11:34 PM
sig operatorWhat's black and white and red all over?
A sunburned zebra
May 29, 2019, 01:36 AM
V-Tailquote:
Originally posted by Tuckerrnr1:
How do you make a Venician blind?
You poke him in the eye.
How do you make Manischevitz wine?
Kick him in the balls.
הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים May 29, 2019, 05:50 AM
tk13quote:
Originally posted by RogueJSK:
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: "Hey, why the long face?"
A termite walks into a tavern and says: "Is your bartender here?"
May 29, 2019, 05:58 AM
PHPaulGood to know my third grade sense of humor is still intact. Couple of those made me giggle.
Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.