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| I believe in the principle of Due Process  |
Just be thankful that English is our first language! For all of you who wonder why folks from other countries have a bit of trouble with the English language. This is a clever piece put together by an English teacher, who else? *Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym.* *You think English is easy??* *I think a retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT !* *Read all the way to the end.................This took a lot of work to put together!* 1) The bandage was *wound* around the *wound*. 2) The farm was used to *produce produce*. 3) The dump was so full that it had to *refuse* more *refuse*. 4) We must *polish* the *Polish* furniture. 5) He could *lead*if he would get the *lead* out. 6) The soldier decided to *desert* his dessert in the *desert*. 7) Since there is no time like the *present*, he thought it was time to *present* the *present*. 8) A *bass* was painted on the head of the *bass* drum. 9) When shot at, the *dove dove *into the bushes. 10) I did not *object* to the *object*. 11) The insurance was *invalid* for the *invalid*. 14) The buck *does* funny things when the *does* are present. 15) A seamstress and a *sewer* fell down into a *sewer* line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his *sow* to *sow*. 17) The *wind* was too strong to *wind* the sail. 18) Upon seeing the *tear* in the painting I shed a *tear*. 19) I had to *subject* the *subject* to a series of tests. 20) How can I *intimate* this to my most *intimate* friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in a pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'? AND If a male goat is called a ram and a donkey is called an ass, why is a ram-in-the-ass called a goose? Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me. When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson "Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown | ||
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Fly High, A.J. |
Why do we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway? | |||
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Though it was tough, a cough was enough to cause the dough on the bough to fall through the leaves into the slough. | |||
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Step by step walk the thousand mile road |
Why is a ship loaded with cargo, but a truck is loaded with shipments. Nice is overrated "It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government." Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018 | |||
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Baroque Bloke |
OTOH, English grammar is a helluva lot simpler than German grammar. A blessing! Serious about crackers | |||
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Member |
I'm convinced a lot of English speakers can't speak English! Winston Churchill once said of the British and Americans that we were "two peoples divided by a common language." You can't truly call yourself "peaceful" unless you are capable of great violence. If you're not capable of great violence, you're not peaceful, you're harmless. NRA Benefactor/Patriot Member | |||
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Member |
I watch considerable amounts of TV from Britain. I often can't understand what they are saying. I hear the words, understand the gist but don't know what they are saying. On top of that, they seem to frequently use just one word out of a common phrase. If you don't know the phrase, you're SOL. For example, they'll just say "peas" when they mean "peas in a pod". "Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy "A government is just a body of people, usually, notably, ungoverned." Shepherd Book | |||
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The Unmanned Writer |
Try Vietnamese.  Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. "If dogs don't go to Heaven, I want to go where they go" Will Rogers The definition of the words we used, carry a meaning of their own... | |||
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Member |
English is tough. I tried to learn Cantonese at one time and that was tough too. I just read an article the other day about how there are twenty ways to apologize in Japanese. Link I had a friend who was sent home from his sensitive work there because he kept picking the wrong form. Add culture to the language and it seems to get even more tricky. _______________________________ NRA Life Member NRA Certified Range Safety Officer | |||
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| Happiness is Vectored Thrust  |
Why do they call them apartments when they're so close together? Icarus flew too close to the sun, but at least he flew. | |||
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| Member |
How can you tip someone toward giving a tip with the tip of pointing to the tip of your wallet? _______________________________ NRA Life Member NRA Certified Range Safety Officer | |||
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| Member |
If a train stops at a train station, what happens at a work station. | |||
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| Member |
I had a German exchange student one year. We were watching the news where they were showing a missile attack on Israel. When alarm sounded, the reporter said, "You can hear the alarm going off in the background." Of course my exchange student said, what? It is surely going ON, NOT OFF! NRA Life Endowment member Tri-State Gun collectors Life Member | |||
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Don't Panic |
My high school German teacher found this for us when we tried to argue that "German was much harder than English." 
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| I believe in the principle of Due Process |
My French wife claims learning English is simple compared to French. She also claims I speak French like I was born in Houston. Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me. When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson "Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown | |||
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| Gracie Allen is my personal savior! |
It could be worse. A friend of mine has lived and worked in Japan for many years. His Japanese wife says that he speaks Japanese like a bar girl. | |||
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Member |
Link to original video: https://youtu.be/Mfz3kFNVopk ———- Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for thou art crunchy and taste good with catsup. | |||
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