SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge I’ve finally started to realize I’m not invincible. Early (very?) planning for the inevitable help, please.
Main Page The Lounge I’ve finally started to realize I’m not invincible. Early (very?) planning for the inevitable help, please.Page 1 2
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| Member |
So I’ve rarely thought about it in the past and lived a fairly fast and semi wreck-less existence prior to my marriage and family. My oldest will graduate HS this next year and it finally dawned on me that I’m probably somewhere at the apex of youth and getting ready to start the downhill slide to the golden years and the inevitable end of existence. While I plan on being around for a while and at the risk of sounding morbid, I think it may be time to sit and figure some things out... What should one begin to plan for? I’ve got a wife and 3 kids. Life insurance policy is good for another 10 or so years. Only debt is the mortgage. We have a fairly modest savings, modest (by most accounts) retirement investments on top of pensions through our jobs. No other physical assets besides the possessions in our home and our vehicles. Do we need a will at this point? What other documents should we start thinking about completing? Any other things to plan for that might be over looked (including, but not limited to firearms)? Just trying to get a head start on the inevitable and lessen the burden for the kids/ family in the event of an untimely exit or if I (hopefully) make it another 30 rotations around the sun. Thanks in advance. CT | ||
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A Grateful American |
Thirty years blows by faster than a .220 Swift. So, don't put off any more, now that your eyes are on it. Yes, if you have anything of value, and taxable, you want to look at protecting the transfer to those whom you want to enjoy possession. You want to minimize the recipients tax liability and ensure the easiest (legal/recording etc.) issues. And if there are more than one person, you want to try and head off the survivors fighting and splitting up over "things". Many people deal with the loss in odd ways, and the "fighting over stuff" often is a "proxy war", where the things and the fighting over them are projection of their feelings of loss, anger, grief and such. Regrettably, these things are often overlooked, or never considered but everyone knows the "stories". Likely, like "death", people tend to "avoid the graveyard" in life, and then one day, they have to deal with the issues of a loved one gone and the estate to be dealt with. "other people's stuff" is never as important as it is to the person to whom it belongs. Why would anyone want to put the burden of dealing with all of that at a time when they are dealing with grief, their emotions, and of others around them? There will be no end to those who will tell you what to do with estate issues, but few that will tell you about this. Hope it helps as you plan forward. And hopefully, you can think back on this in 40 years or more and smile. "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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| Member |
Your first stop should be with an estate planner or an attorney who specializes in estate and probate law. They can give you good advice on the estate and probate laws in your state. End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles | |||
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Crossfire fanatic |
My wife and I went to a funeral home and discussed what we wanted for final arrangements. We ended up purchasing a plot at the cemetery and already have the headstone and engraving done.(final date to be added.LOL) Our final wishes are on file and the funds needed are in an escrow account. No worries or burden for the survivor. phil | |||
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| Throwin sparks makin knives  |
My Wife was working for Metro PD a few years back, and they offered free legal services for living wills. Glad it’s out of the way. It’s a bit odd verbalizing these things, but glad it’s out of the way! | |||
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| Member |
This. And you are not too young, really no-one is. A good attorney will package it with Living Wills etc.. In many States, Living Trust's are the way to go and they basically have the Will within them. Watched my cousins navigate end of life of my uncle. It was 18 months of bs to set it all straight going through probate. I do know the Trust route allows heirs to avoid probate. | |||
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| Member |
You needed a will years ago. You also need a living will and power of attorney if you become unable to make decisions. | |||
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| Member |
Yeah get the will done - really should have had it when your first child was born. | |||
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| Member |
You should, at the very least, set up a Living Will and Healthcare Proxy. Use a reputable estate attorney - don't do it online for $99. | |||
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| Member |
^^^THIS^^^ You need a last will & testament, durable medical power of attorney, living will, maybe other documents properly prepared to sail through the probate process and allow your chosen representative(s) to take care of the necessary without delays or confusion. I lost a cousin 3 years ago. Old single guy, no children, owned a home (mortgaged), had a car (financed), had investment accounts, bank accounts, pension plans. Overall good shape financially. But NO WILL! Nearly a year later, we were $20K out of pocket paying his bills while spending $350 per hour for a lawyer trying to get the court to allow us to do the right thing and take care of his estate. The first joyful interval was dealing with a hospital demanding that a dead body be removed from their morgue. No will, no final instructions, no legal standing or authority to do anything. Had to punt on that one, paid a mortuary to handle the job (cremation), sent the remains to his golfing buddies, cousin now resides on his favorite gold course. Next fun event was securing his home. I had the keys (from his effects at the hospital), but not the alarm code. Got to explain to the nice uniformed officers why a guy from 2000 miles away was entering a home owned by someone with a different last name. Maybe my retirement badge and ID kept me from needing a bail bondsman. Can't sell the house until the court authorizes us to act as executors. Can't drive the car because his insurance won't cover us. Can't access his bank accounts to pay his bills. Can't get the cell phone service, alarm service, cable TV, or any other accounts shut down because we aren't legally appointed. $20,000 later, got court authorization, house sold in 3 days, car sold immediately, everything paid off. About $80K remaining which was split equally between 4 first cousins. About 2 years later we were still dealing with little stuff that keeps popping up (unpaid bill here or there). A properly executed will would have made everything happen within a couple of months and saved a lot of misery. Retired holster maker. Retired police chief. Formerly Sergeant, US Army Airborne Infantry, Pathfinders | |||
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Truth Seeker |
You definitely need a will, but you want to do other things so people you want to leave things to don’t have to go through probate court for the will. Make people you want to give money to a beneficiary on bank or retirement accounts. Money will go straight to them with no probate. If you want to leave property to someone, file a deed on death transfer with the county court. This way upon your death the property transfers directly to that person again with no probate. NRA Benefactor Life Member | |||
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SIG's 'n Surefires |
What others have said vis-a-vis Living Will/POT for you and your wife. When I went in for my hernia op they needed to see proof I had those bases covered. You really just don't know when your lottery ball will be selected. "Common sense is wisdom with its sleeves rolled up." -Kyle Farnsworth "Freedom of Speech does not guarantee freedom from consequences." -Mike Rowe "Democracies aren't overthrown, they're given away." -George Lucas | |||
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| Member |
one of the easiest things is just make sure you have valid beneficiary elections noted on all your accounts and have your paperwork / account information well-labeled and organized so your survivors know what they are dealing with they shouldn't have to be playing forensic accountant if you die a lot of survivorship is pretty straightforward if you don't have crazy complicated business interests, co-owned property etc the will is important if you want specific instructions followed like one kid dis-inherited, a certain amount to go to Charity X, etc ------------------------------- Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. | |||
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semi-reformed sailor |
We just spent $800 for the following for both of us: Will Durable power of attorney Medical power of attorney Assignment to whom will deal with our remains(it’s a thing in TX) We also put a letter in each will for our executor to steer by, listing insurance, bank accounts, passwords, safe combo, who gets my guns ir first pick thru…how to deal with land inherited in Fla. My mom n dad added me to all their accounts years ago so that if hey both get killed, I can use their money to deal with funerals etc..it will make it very easy to withdraw money. "Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.” Robert A. Heinlein “You may beat me, but you will never win.” sigmonkey-2020 “A single round of buckshot to the torso almost always results in an immediate change of behavior.” Chris Baker | |||
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| Truth Seeker |
One other thing is to tell whoever you appoint as executor of the will where the will is located. My aunt passed away suddenly from COVID earlier this year and she had told me I would be the executor, but never told me where the will was. To this day we have not found it so it has been a nightmare as she owns houses and property in 5 different states with many different bank and retirement accounts. My will is in a safety deposit box and I have told the executors where it is and where the key is. Also inside the box I have a document that has all of my accounts listed and passwords to everything like my computer, safe, online accounts, alarm code, etc. NRA Benefactor Life Member | |||
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| Member |
curious why you were even involved. like you said he had no immediate family. he obviously didn't care -- why should you? so you had to do a little leg-work to get your cut of the $80k.  ---------------------------------------- Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. | |||
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Member |
Much sound advice in this thread. My wife passed away in 2017. She had insisted we do estate planning several years earlier which turned out to be fortuitous. Even with all the documentation prepared by our attorney, settling her estate was time consuming and required the assistance of the attorney and a tax accountant. Fast forward to 2020 when I retired to SC. I learned that SC's estate and probate laws differ a bit from other states. As a result, I consulted a SC estate law firm which reviewed and rewrote all of the Virginia documents to reflect the legal realities in SC. This also afforded an opportunity to update my estate plan to reflect changes since my wife and I started the process some years earlier. I think doing this is especially important before find yourself a widower or widow. And don't forget to provide for the care of your pets. | |||
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| Green grass and high tides  |
First off, you have lots to look forward to. So that should be your focus. Speaking of focus. That is where it is at. First define that. If you are working for .gov you may want to determine if that is what you want to do for another 8-15 years (a guess). Freeing yourself of that might be a new leash on life instead of wading a good part of your life just to get to the end. Seen that a lot and it is a waste imho. It just isn't worth it. While there is so much negativity surrounding a lot of things these days. There are a ton of opportunities as well. Define what success means not only for you but for your wife and get busy working towards it. So many just trudge along and then look back and think I could of done so much better. Don't be like most others. Because the majority falls into that category. Only you can figure out what you want to do. If you choose to do nothing other that just ride it out. That is a choice. Control your own destiny! Best of luck. "Practice like you want to play in the game" | |||
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| semi-reformed sailor |
I emailed a copy of the papers to both dads and back up executors, they both know where the combo to the safe is. "Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.” Robert A. Heinlein “You may beat me, but you will never win.” sigmonkey-2020 “A single round of buckshot to the torso almost always results in an immediate change of behavior.” Chris Baker | |||
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| Member |
Will Durable Power of Attorney Medical Power of Attorney Physician’s Directive Also take time with the attorney that draws up the will about different approaches to settling the estate for your state. We’re in Texas and probated my Dad’s estate due to some of the listed property in the estate. With my Mother in Law’s estate, the attorney handling things made the assessment and recommendation to utilize an affidavit of heirship, which was a less expensive approach. Just having understanding of what probate entails and possible alternatives beforehand should be helpful. Also in our experience with our Dad and his banking and retirement accounts, he assured us we were beneficiaries on everything, that would keep the accounts out of probate. Everything that specifically required a beneficiary listing was, but his regular checking and savings account weren’t. He had listed us as having signature privileges not ownership or beneficiary status. Our accesss technically ended with his death. Thankfully alll this occurred within a small community and the bank worked with us to pay expenses directly related to my Dad. And being in a small rural county we were able to get our probate on the docket and get before a judge rather quickly. Hope this adds insight. Bill Gullette | |||
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SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge I’ve finally started to realize I’m not invincible. Early (very?) planning for the inevitable help, please.
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