Reading a few of those stories really got me thinking. I remember my parents going through some trying times when I was a kid. But they got through them, and raised two kids doing it. My grandparents were brought up during the depression and were parents themselves during WWII, then on into Korea & Vietnam.
I’ve had a few setbacks and heartbreaks of my own. But you do what you have to, and you get through.

So why (prepare for BROAD paint strokes here, because I know there are stories to the contrary as well)
Tell me why, do SO many of our youth these days seem to be so emotionally and mentally weak?
Lacking in the very resilience I see represented in the aforementioned thread.
And.....
Discuss.

It’s how you raise them.

In Spanish, “spoiled” translates as “malcriado”, or “badly created”.

There are exceptions, of course, but in general children are reflections of how they are raised by their parents.

Good times create weak people.

The youth today seem to be so suicide prone. My wife told me stories of kids killing themselves because they couldn't go outside. Or kids that kill themselves because they get bullied.

I don't have much faith in today's youth.

They haven't been taught that losing is OK. They haven't been taught that sometimes things don't go your way and life isn't fair, and that's OK also.

They have no tools with which to handle adversity, setbacks, or failure. They've been given everything without struggle, so the first time they encounter struggle with no one there to make it alright, they crumble.

Yes, broad brush strokes.

While I tend to agree let me throw this into the mix.

Visited my oldest last week, he is a type 1 diabetic and in a small PA college town that has basically stopped all social life.

He and his friends sat in the flat making fun of the stupid people. They are complying ( considering his illness and his job as a waiter I am rather glad he did) but they certainly were overreacting.

They were bitching about online studies being harder...hell one was in graphic design specializing in ceramics......

I would consider this normal young person bitching....

To which I mention my employees were still out climbing towers everyday.

Yes I am that Dad

Too many crisis counselors and too much sensitivity training and parents that demand it for their youths.
Remember when a four year degree meant you were expected to finish in four years?

quote:

Tell me why, do SO many of our youth these days seem to be so emotionally and mentally weak?
Lacking in the very resilience I see represented in the aforementioned thread.

Perhaps, but IMO this perception is amplified by modern social media. People always bitched and complained but now one can see/hear much of it and people have more places to vent.

Keep in mind the numbers of "youth" who took part in the longest conflict in US History.

I think its because they have little exposure to real world life experiences.
At about age ten or so, I whined to my old man about not having money. He told me to go out and earn some. So... I did. How often does that happen now?

The information age makes everything seem worse than it was before....beacause you are exposed to so much more "news". Some stupid liberal bullshit happens on a college campus 5 states away and you know about it immediately. Some kid offs himself on the other side of the world and you are seeing video from the candle light vigils the same day.

Case in point, I went to a large highschool in a well off Houston suburb in the late 80's. We had a kid walk into his 2nd period classroom at my school, sit next to a girl he had a crush on who rebuffed his advances, and proceeded to pull out a pistol and shoot himself in the head after telling her it was her fault. He was clearly troubled. It fucked up a whole classroom full of kids. And I doubt many people outside of Houston ever heard about it in 1987. If that happened today it would "start a national conversation" and through social media half of the country would share their opinion on the state of mental health "in this day and age".

I am gen X.....not sure if that's one of generations full of pussies or if we are the ones being blamed for making our kids soft. Regardless, I have highschool and middle school aged kids now. We attend lots of school events, my wife volunteers around the schools and we have a good handle on what goes on. I see little difference in their peer group than mine from the 80's. Kids are still navigating the same social cliques, peer pressure, parties, sports, cool parents, lame parents, etc...etc... that I did in the 80's and my wife did in the early 90's. That shit hasn't really changed in 30 plus years at least.

I honestly don't think a lot changes from generation to generation, people are people and half of them are below average for any given trait, including resilience. You just hear about every one of them that proves it these days.

quote:

Originally posted by reloader-1:

It’s how you raise them.

In Spanish, “spoiled” translates as “malcriado”, or “badly created”.

There are exceptions, of course, but in general children are reflections of how they are raised by their parents.

Absolutely true.

I have two (step)grandsons. They were raised, given clear understanding of what was expected of them.

Their single parent father spent a lot of time with them, leading by example, correcting them when they were wrong, praising them when they did well, helping with homework, participating in school programs, coaching sports teams, etc.

How did they turn out? They are now in their junior and senior years respectively, in college. Both straight A students, on scholarships, both planning for medical school. One of them received the MVP trophy for his performance in the summer college baseball league. Those achievements did not happen by themselves, much is attributed to good parenting.

I have 2 boys, 8 & 9. They will not be weak. I am a lot tougher on them than most of the other kids in their classes that I see. They'll know how to rebuild an engine, wire a new circuit in an electrical panel, sweat copper pipes, change tire, etc...

I burn 3 or so cords of wood each year. They are now getting to the age where they can help me. I don't let them stack because I don't want my pile to fall over, but they can help me split and clean up.

Around here, the beating will continue until morale improves.

Weak kids come from weak parents.

It is simply a matter of good parenting. There are certain pressures that kids these days experience that are EXTREMELY stressful, that were not present in the 30s, 40s or 50s.

If you have children of your own and have grandchildren you might understand. If, however, you work with kids on a daily basis you have an even greater understanding.

Good effective parenting, involvement in peer group activities, and having good teachers makes a big difference.

quote:

Perhaps, but IMO this perception is amplified by modern social media. People always bitched and complained but now one can see/hear much of it and people have more places to vent.

This, in our youth we heard about local or at least in a general radius of the area maybe 100 miles. National news was limited to of course stories of national interest.

There was nothing in the air about who suicided themselves 4 states away, or shootings, births, and celebrity news was on the Society page.

There has always been problematic people and kids, we have a lot more population now, wider access to news, lots of social media input.

Not every kid is problematic, I'd venture more are not as bad as some think.

Frankly every generation has the adults always talking about the problems in the youth of the day.

I think a lot of it is how society has changed and how parents are raising their kids.

It seems for the last decade or so it has been helicopter parenting, parents trying to be their kids friends and everyone gets a trophy.

Also PC has taken over and kids haven't had the desire or be required to learn to have different view points, be a team player, and also a good loser/sportsmanship.

Just look at the kids now and us on the forum. I was able to ride my bike, walk to the store, hang out with friends etc.. Now that is taboo. The only rule was (usually) let my parents know where I was going or what I was doing. There was no sitting in the house on a nice day.

Heck we had to walk to the end of the street and stand in the cold and snow in Cols OH to catch the city school bus.

What does not kill me makes me stronger

Friedrich Nietzsche


My experience has taught me that we are strengthen through adversity and pressing against resistance. I think the youth are weak because they have been shielded from adversity on nearly every level. The most destructive of those levels is the protection from negative consequences of choices. If the young are weak it is because the older were too soft.

Every generation considers the ones that come after it to be inferior. They may or may not actually be inferior, but if they are we have have no one to blame but ourselves for the children we raise.

quote:

we had to walk to the end of the street and stand in the cold and snow in Cols OH to catch the city school bus.

We had to walk ten miles. Uphill both ways. Wrapped barbed wire around our feet in the winter, for traction on the ice -- those of us who had feet.

It’s the pampering attitude prevalent more so today. Everyone gets a trophy. Everyone gets a thanks for doing their job. Everyone is special.