My mom got hit with lung cancer and stage 4 brain cancer. Her health is declining, but she sounds good. My parents live out of state, and have asked to isolate themselves from outside virus, germs, etc. Meaning no Chrismas holiday for possibly the last time. I haven't seen them since she was first diagnosed in September.

I'm trying to think of a fitting gift. I thoughr about a voice recorder, but I'm not sure how'd she take it. She has a very finicky diet, so any food items are out of the question. Maybe just a very nice bouquet of flowers and aromatherapy oils? They are in the process of downsizing, so they don't need or want any material items.

Any ideas?

Thanks,
Smith

How about a picture frame that you can email photos to from your phone. I use skylight with my mom to send her pics of the grandkids

simple setup for most, you might even be able to ship it to and set up ahead of time, i dont recall on that

Is there someplace that your mom has always wanted to visit, but never got the chance?

During the height of the COVID pandemic, a whole subindustry of "virtual tours" sprang up. Tour guides who normally gave in-person tours of cities/attractions started doing virtual sessions where they'd be hired to videoconference/FaceTime with a tourist and give them a livestreamed virtual walking tour of the area. That allowed the tour companies to still make money and remain solvent, while the "tourists" were able to see the sights while watching on a computer or TV screen from their homes, since they couldn't travel in person due to international COVID restrictions.

While most tour companies have probably gone back to offering in-person tours, I'm sure you could find one that's able to accommodate a livestreamed virtual walking tour for your mother, given the circumstances.

Paying for a virtual tour of Venice or London or whatever could allow her to get a live tour of that place she wanted to visit, even though she won't be able to make it in person.

Perhaps some books where she can write down her memories and life history? They also sell books with prompts in them, such as 'first date', 'wedding' etc.

Like Timdogg6 above suggested

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09X...GEAAYASAAEgL4Q_D_BwE

WI-FI frame that you, or anyone you let, can send photos too of the family/grandkids ect for them to see.

A tablet of some sort, a constant stream of e-mail pictures and videos that she can go through the library time and again viewing the pictures that mean the most to her.

AURA FRAME

These are great. We gave access to our family, they can add pictures and short video clips. We get a notification when they add something.

My older sister (just slipping into the 'memory care' arena for sure) knew Big Changes in her life were near. She asked to be taken on a nice country drive. Late summer, ideal low density farm traffic on back roads, and we managed to find absolutely smashing hidden ice cream cone stand.

How about a Facebook portal, can “facetime” download pictures etc. my stroke semi paralyzed mnlaw has one.. https://www.smarthome.news/how...ortal-ultimate-guide

So very sorry to read your post about your mom’s declining health, Smith. Even more sorry you won’t be able to see her.
T

Time, with you of course, can you visit?

There isn't a tangible item that she will care about at this point.

Call her every day and tell her how much you love her!

I know it’s old school. But what about a book or two of pictures through the years of the family.

There are four of us siblings. And each one did one for Dad. When alert could look at them. Also when you call can talk about and recall the times in the pictures.

Easy to move if need be between places.

Will keep your family in my prayers

Ipad. I watched my mother laugh and smile watching YouTube videos on her iPad while dealing with cancer and chemo. The ease of using it never introduced any stress for her. The simple interface just allowed her to consume the streaming content with no hassles.

I had a similar situation with my Mom some years ago. She presented Stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer.

Her birthday was coming up and I wanted to give her something special. Here’s what I did-

I went through all of our family pictures and scrapbooks found all of the one-only and special photos and late at night I would scan and clean up pictures in photoshop. I put out the word among the family if they had a picture of her (and it turned out to be a number) where they had the only copy- I offered to scan them if they couldn’t or else they could scan and forward a copy to me.
I also took all of the old 8mm and other films and converted them to digital format.

It took me a good bit of work, but I then collated of the pictures (did this on a Mac because all of the transitions, music were all there in Photos, but there are plenty of apps that will do the same). I did them in a chronological order along with music transitions included with the now-digital movies. We got all of the family and her friends together and sat her in the most comfortable seat and watched all of this on a big screen television. Everyone there got the scanned photos and videos on a thumb drive. Those who couldn’t make it also got their copy.
It was very moving and she enjoyed it very much.
She had it on her television where she could watch it when she wanted.
I suppose you could do this on Facebook if you wanted.

If you want to do a more compact gift find out what photo means the most to her and scan it, clean it up in PS, print it and put it in a nice frame.

I’m sorry you are going through this, and sorrier still that your mom is going through it.

To answer your question… lately I’ve wondered about the legacy I will leave with my own children and grandchildren, and maybe even those who follow beyond that. I like many of the other gifts that have been suggested, but if there was some way that she knew she’d be remembered through the years after she’s gone, maybe it would mean something more to her. Pics of her and you and your family during good times, or even just in moments that were meaningful? Ask the kids to find their favorite pics of her to give her in an album or digital frame, but let her know others chose those pics and have their own versions. Just a little different thought on the matter.

Aura frames are a great idea. What about a comfy cashmere blanket.

When my mom was hit with strokes and vascular dementia she had to be put in a nursing home. It took quite awhile for her to accept it. She was there almost 2 years before she passed. So sorry to hear about your mom. I did an electronic frames (similar to what someone else did) and did a photo collage that changed photos and video clips. Also made custom blankets through Walmart I believe, decent quality blankets, with pictures of the grandchildren on the blanket. She was able to enjoy food so we did that too. Here is a link to the woven tapestry type blanket we did for her.

https://photos3.walmart.com/ca...blankets?size=woven#

We got my mom a Facebook Portal, it was the best. We would all (kids, grandkids, stepkids, wives etc) facebook messenger once a week at a set time for a video chat. She loved it. Further, anyone can call and say hi anytime. Hold the new pup or baby up in front of it or point it towards the work you've been doing to fix the front porch so she is connected and can see it live on video.

Because they kept us out of the hospice during covid, we build a mini bleacher with logs and boards outside of her window and would open the window and visit.

Time... is the best you can give. She'll clue you in if she needs anything you can plunk a buck down and get for her. We built her her dream house before it went bad, she wanted for nothing financial that money could buy. Time...that's it: and in my experience, you will still not be sure that's enough when it's over and the dust and ashes have settled. Just try and do your best and accept your own limitations. One thing I really appreciated is how the family all stepped up and pitched in.

Best regards and luck.....

A lot of nice suggestions listed above.......here is my 2 cents. Put pen to paper and let her know what she means to you and others. Provide her with some wonderful memories that may have been forgotten about. Remind her how thankful you are for her and what she has taught/provided to you that you are thankful for.

IMO this is something people don't do enough these days and is something that she can take with her when her time here complete. A lot of things I wish I could have said before my father's passing and never got the chance to due to illness. Something like this costs nothing and means more than any amount of money spent on material items. Simple things have the potential of providing the most happiness. Good luck with your decision, best wishes to you and your family.