In the Army, counseling soldiers, there is no end to the dumb.

"I must have money, because I have checks. The bank wouldn't give me checks if I didn't have money."

"Yessir, that's right. He beat the hell out of her with a 12 inch rubber dong. Whaddya want me to do with the evidence?"

"I took it because it was my truck (HEMTT Fueler). Y'all told it was my truck, to take care of my truck, and to look after my truck. So when I had to go see my girl, I took my truck."

Which, as it happened, ended up on its side in a sugar beet field, leaking fuel everywhere after drunken dumbass PVT Snuffy drove it through the motor pool fence, down the road, and decided to lose the cops by going overland.

The one in the middle looks like Willie Nelson

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig:
Historic is another one, three time a week a historic event has happened.

These days it seems like everything is “historic” or a “crisis.” Sometimes both.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

Originally posted by selogic:

quote:

Originally posted by Edmond:

Many years ago one of my soldiers asked me, "Abraham Lincoln was Jewish because he had a beard, right?"

About as Jewish as Whoopie Goldberg .

Whoopi has a beard? I did not know that.

…

Thank God in Heaven we can’t see it!…it would be a revolting piece of porn