All great suggestions. I would second the suggestion regarding exercise. It does give you a sense of accomplishment and it improves your mood. Don't stay at home. Volunteer at a political campaign, go to church, put yourself out there.

I lost my last living relative in 1995 and I have one friend from college who has been like a brother for 40 years. I am married to a wonderful woman (2nd marriage) for 10 years now and have a fantastic step daughter. That being said, I went through a tough time when my last relative died as I came to the reality that my family line ends with me. I know what you are feeling as my hereditary history / gene make up in my mind says I have 10 to 12 years left.

Get 2 dogs...this way they have someone to play with when you need a break and you get the absolute joy of both. Far easier to have 2 than 1 in my opinion.

I have 4...they ARE my children as I never had kids, and I wake up each day looking forward to see what THEY have in store for me today and I know tomorrow will be just as good.

A couple of little pals running around that love you to the moon no matter what makes life way, way better !

Many of us are experiencing the same thoughts at times. All I can offer is to make the most of every day.

That is what I try to do.

Volunteer - what's your interests?
I volunteer with the Australian Volunteer Coast Guard.

Charities
Political party in your city/county always need people.
Start a coffee club/whisky/cigar club.
Associations/fraternities you can associate with?

Travel/sea cruise

Adopt a pet for the therapy.

Perhaps tai-chi or Qi Gong for movement and mindfulness.

Write a book

I find that keeping the mind and body busy and occupied is best therapy.

quote:

Originally posted by Skins2881]
I'm a pussy and haven't had that conversation with him.

There’s only one reason I would write that if I were in your shoes so I’ll step up. I challenge you to have that conversation in the next week. I don’t envy your position, but even if you do it poorly it’s a respectable conversation to have. I commend you in advance for shouldering that burden.


To the OP- you still have something to offer this world. It’s too damn easy to crumble at the pressures of this life, and we all know how it’s going to end. It’s damn scary. It’s okay to be scared. Never, never, never, never give up. You have gifts that only you can offer, and if you choose to give in it deprives everyone of what you have to offer the world.

Last December, Donna, my wonderful wife of 48 years, died in my arms from a heart attack at home. I was her caretaker for the past three years. We were High School Sweet Hearts. I sold my business /retired in 2014 and we bought our dream house.

I have been through a terrible emotional storm for almost 6 months but have emerged with a new life appreciation and have found things to keep me going. I have two fantastic daughters and four healthy young Grandsons that live near me and they are the main focus of my life now. My goal is to make it to my youngest Grandson's High School graduation in 2036.

I mistakenly took up golf a couple years ago and have it to keep me humble, but I look forward to and enjoy the senior group of guys I play with weekly. We may next form a poker group.

I joined local Sheriff Senior Volunteer group (some are in their 80's), joined dog rescue organization and help by transporting dogs to/from vet or to foster homes, etc. I have my own two dogs that are a great comfort to me and we are getting old together. I just bought my first MH/RV and plan to see more of this great country starting next month. I have interests in History and Science and read 2-3 books a month. I started playing chess again after 35 year layoff and play online and now have people all over the world beating me. I have Sig P229 and am looking to go to a place called Front Sight in NV for handgun course.

If life is like golf, I am on the 14th hole. I find I am more compassionate now and like to talk to "old people" about their lives and what they have learned. I believe that Life is worth living and it is the greatest gift.
(sorry for the ramble)

H&K, This forum is full of wisdom. The only thing I have not yet read suggested is asking you where you live.

Maybe there are other members near you. That would be a good start. We are generally a good bunch.

Added: I'm send a prayer your way. God bless you Sir.

Don't fall into a pit of despair. There is so much to experience in this world.

When death smiles at you, you should smile back.

V.

I don't know if I am in the "dying years" or not. I just turned 72 so I guess maybe I am. Parents are long dead now as are many of my friends I grew up with and a number of family members.

I don't worry about it. I mean that. I keep busy here on the farm, I have a wife and a dog and we all share the same house. I have a six year old granddaughter who follows me around all day asking me why the grass is green but the sky is blue. Hell, life is good in my book. I wake up each morning and realize that God gave me another day and I am thankful for that. I really try to make the most of that day...who knows how many I have left?

Get a dog and then get out of the house. Take your dog with you and make the most of each of those days.

I've not arrived to that level of thinking yet, but my father has and I've watched him wrangle with it. I know it gets difficult for him to keep his chin up and carry on at times, and I empathize with your position.

You've lived a full life so far, and have a wealth of knowledge, experience, and wisdom. Your tanks are full, so to speak. I would encourage you to find somewhere that you can empty that treasure out for others who follow behind you to use. Boys groups, scouting, shooting associations, church leadership, whatever strikes you as something you could help with. God will take your sincere attempt to help others and multiply it, if you'll just do your part. I implore you to share what you know, it's more than you think it is.

In the process of doing so, you'll make "next generation" friends, and that may just be the saving grace you need later on down this road.

The only way I manage is I found a purpose in life that had a positive impact on others.

"Dying Years" sounds so depressing, but I guess it's a more honest term than the farcical "Golden Years". I'm in my 70's and "Golden Years", they ain't!

Short answer: get busy.

Just reached 60 and thinking my health will not last forever. Realized with sadness and slowly paced that it doesn't make sense to accumulate stuff all your life and that I should have spent time enjoying it instead of looking forwards to this or that new item that would fill my life until I found the next carrot n front of me. Poor choice but believe I was raised that way also.

After briefly meeting Sigmund for a few hours I realized that being able to travel the world (and the seven seas ) might be a nice way to spend the rest of my life with my wife. She earned the break more than I do.
Anyhow, being busy is what keeps most of us alive. Keep yourself motivated by any means, keep looking at life with the new born eyes and marvel at every step you take (every move you make ).

First time in my life I shamelessly borrow from famous songs but it just popped up like that. Apologies.

All you need is love.

Sometimes I feel that what I will miss the most when I'm gone is music.

0-0

FWIW, my mom is 90 and has recently come down with dementia. Lost my dad when he was 64.

I'm my dad's age now and I recall him telling me this...

He said, " I want to go when I'm 90 by being shot by an irate husband while I'm hopping a fence".

So, there's a strategy.

In the mien, the real key to self satisfaction is to keep productive, be it growing things, mentoring, helping, making things, anything where you are productive.

I believe my dad meant as such - keeping busy.

I have a friend getting there, a retired Electrical Engineer.
He fights it tooth and nail. He rides all over his neighborhood on a bicycle for exercise and thankfully he can still competently drive so he volunteers to drive a community van that mostly ferries Vets to the Veterans Hospital in the next county.

quote:

Originally posted by Snapping Twig:


In the mien, the real key to self satisfaction is to keep productive, be it growing things, mentoring, helping, making things, anything where you are productive.

I believe my dad meant as such - keeping busy.

And a large segment of the population spends it's time avoiding this.

I have no answers. I struggle with it and am 60