I've reached the years of my life, that for no better description, are my "Dying Years". All of my family is dead, most of my friends have passed away, and I can't even remember the last pet I had.

I lost my nephew to a hunting accident, my sister to cancer, my mother to ALS, and my Father to old age, all in the same year. The few friends I've had are getting up in age and aren't long for this world.

How do you guys cope with the "Dying Years"?

H&K-Guy

ETA: I've got some years left, so I'm more concerned with how to deal with all of the people that matter to me dying, not my own death. Hope that clarifies things.

My faith....

If my focus was on this life, it would be hopeless. Vanity, Vanity, it is all vanity.

That is how I survive.

Not there yet, the only thing I can suggest is come to the realization that death comes for all of us and all we love and the only thing you personally can do is to celebrate the time you had with those who you love instead of mourning their loss.

I'm not there yet, so I can offer no experiences of my own. You say you can't remember the last pet you had, so maybe it's time to change that. Consider adopting a dog. Maybe save an older, smaller one that is past the crazy puppy stage and less desirable for adoption. That dog might just save you too, and give you a purpose for getting up in the morning that it sounds like you haven't had in some time. The right one will be there day and night with you and for you, and will always love you with the kind of unwavering love that doesn't exist anywhere in this world but inside a dog.

quote:

The few friends I've had are getting up in age and aren't long for this world.

I'd suggest spend some time with them.
And.... make some new friends!

Each passing day is a day closer to going home to God. I can't ask for anything better.

I would guess I am not too far behind you. My advice is to try and get out. Find something that interests you and get involved. Walk if you can.
But get active and busy, as much as your body tells you to.
It is easy to get mired down in hindsight that involves your "glory days".
This may sound trite or corny, but I have been looking at my life lately as a book. There are lots of chapters before the last one. Dont be afraid to start a new chapter.

I live life to its fullest every day, I don't piss and moan over stuff that I can't change. I accept it and move on to enjoy my day. I don't watch network anything, we watch one-off shows on Netflix and Prime and entertain our selves every day in the wood shop.

Life is far to short to miss one minute of it struggling with drama. like Dr. Sidney Freedman from the M.A.S.H. show said, 'pull down your pants and slide on the ice'

The wife's aunt passed a month ago at 94, my wonderful uncle two weeks ago at 96 and yesterday my wife's oldest friend died cancer-ravaged. A lot of looking back recently by necessity, more than a little hard to process I must say.

As much as I hate it - social interaction.

You need to be motivated and engaged socially. Whatever you are comfortable with and push yourself a bit. It's ok to be socially uncomfortable also. Just engaging with others and connecting will keep you going.

Stay thirsty for knowledge.

Cheers~

That is a lot of loss for one year. I suspect that a little depression is settling in. The idea of an older rescue dog is a good one and would keep you busy and give you a reason to get up in the morning. The dog will pick you so you don't have to do much, just show up at the pound.

Good luck,

Jim

I lost a friend in high school to a car wreck, lost people the short time I was in the service. I've rode bikes my whole life, and have lost friends due to drugs, wrecks, cancer...it is life's process. None of us are guaranteed another minute. But I've learned to get up every morning and live again. This s how I honor and remember all I've bonded with over the years. I'm 70 now, I can do no better.

This is the day the Lord hath made ...

Hopefully you find others looking for company to live those years the best you can. They are out there. Some here may be close. Wishing you the best.

Carpe Diem
We have a finite time on this earth.

quote:

Originally posted by Perception:
I'm not there yet, so I can offer no experiences of my own. You say you can't remember the last pet you had, so maybe it's time to change that. Consider adopting a dog. Maybe save an older, smaller one that is past the crazy puppy stage and less desirable for adoption. That dog might just save you too, and give you a purpose for getting up in the morning that it sounds like you haven't had in some time. The right one will be there day and night with you and for you, and will always love you with the kind of unwavering love that doesn't exist anywhere in this world but inside a dog.

I know this answer isn't the right one for everyone, but it's as good as it gets IMHO.

Consider volunteering.

Meals on wheels, food bank, rocking babies, reading to kids, library, helping the elderly get to doctor appts, tutoring, many other things. There is a need and you can help fill it. I find these things make me feel better.

Good luck to you, best wishes.

My wife and and I are parentless. They have all passed on, same with some friends and family.

Nobody gets out of here alive. Death is a natural process of life, it's part of the gig of living here on Earth.

I don't think any pontification on the subject on an internet forum will make it "easier". Focus on yourself. Take shit from no one. The old "grieve and move on" tactic is not a bad paradigm. You're not alone.

quote:

Consider volunteering.

My grandfather does a bunch of this. Voting, senior driving classes, volunteering at Shul, etc.

He's facing the same right now. All his friends are dying, last year his younger brother died, he really saw his mortality after that. He's asked me to come over and have a conversation about what happens when he dies. I'm a pussy and haven't had that conversation with him. I have though made sure to ask him over and over to tell me our family history and how we fled the Nazis.

I don't think he's made terms with the fact that his days are coming to an end, but he's sure as hell not letting it slow him down either. He volunteers, he does all his own yardwork, heck he even climbs on his roof to clean his gutters and blow the junk off the roof. If his father is any sign of what's to come, he's still got a decade ahead of him.

Hang in there H&K-Guy, find stuff to occupy yourself, and try to find someone you can pass your knowledge on to. If you can do that you become immortal.

I'd adopt a shelter pet!

I have a good friend that several years back was starting to really scare me. In his late 70's and simply tired of life. Been everywhere, done everything and simply not happy.

By total chance we ended up with a border collie that needed a home. My friend ended up with her. She has changed his life. He HAS to get up to feed and care for her, so he does. No more sleeping until noon. He interacts with her all the time and she gives him affection by being at his side.

She requires exercise so he HAS to walk with her, throw a ball for her to chase and so forth. Exercise is one of the best medicines for depression IMHO.

My suggestion....a nice pet.