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Coin Sniper |
An elderly couple, Margaret and Joe, live in Arkansas. Joe always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife ‘Notice anything different about me?’ Margaret looks him over, ‘Nope.’ Frustrated, Joe storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time ‘Notice anything different NOW?’ Margaret looks up and says, ‘Joe, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.’ Furious, Joe yells, AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET? ‘Nope’ she replies. ‘IT’S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!’ Joe yells. To which Margaret replies…”Shoulda bought a hat, Joe. Shoulda bought a hat.” Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys 343 - Never Forget Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive. | ||
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| Edge seeking Sharp blade! |
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell over when he saw him. Murphy had never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass. What made you come?" Murphy said, "I got to be honest with ya, Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat." The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed ya mind?" Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard ya sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all." With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' you decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell?" Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' I remembered where I left my hat." | |||
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Member |
This really made me laugh! JP | |||
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Fool for the City |
Me too. _____________________________ "A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government." George Washington. | |||
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