It's been awhile since anyone has posted about Alzheimer's, family with the disease, or losses. Alzheimer's has returned to our lives with our elderly neighbor getting the diagnosis and seeing our neighbor's deal with it: His going AWOL, coming over to to borrow a phone, because his wife and two guys are out to get him. His diagnosis came too late, he's now hospitalized with pneumonia and hospice care. Devastating enough for us on the periphery, knowing how it affected us with my Dad's Alzheimer's.

Anyway this is a post to tell anyone on Sigforum to sound off: updat/let us know if you're dealing with it, you have questions/ask, ask for prayers, or even just to vent. There have been many of us who have dealt with this monster, and its effect on those dealing with their afflicted loved ones is just as hard.

We're here to listen, encourage, support, and pray. Don't suffer in silence.

I lost my wife in January 6 of this year to Alzheimer's, after 12 years of watching her struggle with the slow loss of her memory, sadly followed by all her motor skills it was a blessing when she passed. She was not happy, she didn't know me even after 30 years of marriage, it just never clicked.

I was so blessed to see her light up like a Christmas tree when her mom came into the room, what a joy it was to see the reactions. It has been a adjustment living alone and the loss of my life partner but I'm making the my best of the loss.

I have a life to live and I can't wallow in the pity party doldrums for ever, she would never want that from me.

I'm dating a wonderful lady, getting out and most of all I'm still participating in the local Alzheimer's support group meetings. It really gives me a nice feeing to help others deal with what is ahead and also help them understand what they can do to help their loved one.

Life is still great !

Jim, I'm very sorry to hear about all you went through, but happy that time marches on and you're adapting to the change!

BGULL...my prayers are offered for you...I'm going through much the same thing with my neighbor of 20+ Years...he is (at least for now) at home and his wife is with him....she has called me three times this week to come over and pick him up when he fell...he does not know me or her...and it is so hard to see a gifted artist (as in painter and drawing) reach this stage in his life...this is a cruel disease ...

SIG 229-SAS...may God bless you and support you in your carrying on...I KNOW how difficult this is after such a great loss (my loss was different, but I can only imagine how hard this was for you...you and yours are in my prayers and thoughts).

Yes. Family member. But I get the feeling there are no medical options to pursue, correct? Doesn't it basically run its course?

You all have my sympathy. From the little I have been exposed to the disease, I can see the awful effects it can have on the family and caregivers.

quote:

Originally posted by radioman:
Yes. Family member. But I get the feeling there are no medical options to pursue, correct? Doesn't it basically run its course?

Actually, no. I've seen tv advertisements in the last two years for medication to halt or turn back the effects of Alzheimers.

My dad had it. My older sister is starting to show signs. My wife wants me to keep my mind engaged as a way to prevent the onset of it.

My grandmother was diagnosed at the age of 85, athough she likely had early stages before that. She passed on at age 94, fully taken by the disease. For the last 7 years of her life my mom and I would go visit her and on the return trip, we'd talk about how she didn't recognize us and for all practical purposes, the person we know and loved was gone and we were only staring at a shell.

This past November my mom received an Alzheimer's diagnosis and knows the horrible life that lies in front of her. She was the caretake for a long time and now she's the patient for us.

mr. gullette,

thank you for your kind words. our grandson (10) and i visited my mother today...along with our trusted dog chloe.

it was a good visit. we are going back thursday.

we are blessed to be able to have our mother in good facility.

nothing about alzheimer's is good, but we have good days.

hang in there.

bob

appreciate the moment to reflect on how intrusive 'the Big A' is into so many lives....

my own mother retreated ever further into her previous life on the early NoDakota prairie, and got to the point many here have described...

While she forgot how to knit or sew, the journey didn't seem as difficult for her as the rest of the family.

My wife's father is currently going through what the doctors say is Parkinson's-related dementia issues. I don't really know if it's technically Alzheimer's or some other clinically-correct term, but it really doesn't matter. The current discussion with him this week is why he cannot have his pistol back and more accusations of us being out to get him. He's an old Marine (Korea: Inchon to Chosin) and a retired police officer, so to him this is a discussion about the tools of his trade and the protection of his home. The man has always had good common sense, but the dementia is robbing him of that. Overlooking the forgetfulness is easy, but tolerating the angry words is difficult. His drill instructor/beat cop demeanor is something that he never brought home to his family, but it's certainly a part of our lives now.

The situation is really difficult mentally and logistically for Mrs. 'Hook, but she's learned to let the 24-hour home health care workers do what they are hired to do so she can get some part of her life back. The Hospice workers have done a great job of not only caring for him but also offering outstanding support for her too via discussions about medicines, the situation in general and what to expect next. He will never get better, and it only gets worse with each passing day.

My role is to provide a safety net for her and simply listen while she vents over the numerous frustrations that occur every single day. I'm taking care of the caregiver. Besides providing moral support, I continue to do normal maintenance around his house and call repair guys for things that are beyond my capability or time. Of course I still try to engage my FIL but the days of great conversation are over, which really hurts because we were such good friends over the years. I went through a very similar situation with my own father, so I can compartmentalize it and let the hurtful words slide off without anger or comment. But Mrs. 'Hook is having a difficult time doing this, so helping her get through this is my main priority right after taking care of her father. She will definitely be a changed person after this experience is over.


BGULL, I appreciate you creating this thread. It has been therapeutic for me to write about this, and I look forward to reading the experiences of others.

This is such a terrible disease. Fortunately, I have never had to deal with it with friends or family but reading about it occasionally here on the forum sure saddens me.

quote:

Originally posted by sig229-SAS:


I'm dating a wonderful lady....

Life is still great !

Before I pick up slings and arrows, let me explain, of those that say 'why are you dating after only 6 months'. For the most part I 'lost' my wife 3 years ago when we were sitting in the den and she turned around and said 'when's my husband Jim coming home' I knew at that point she was quickly sliding towards that awful abyss. Everything changed on that one single day.... I hope that helps.

quote:

Originally posted by radioman:
Yes. Family member. But I get the feeling there are no medical options to pursue, correct? Doesn't it basically run its course?

Although there is no cure, there are some great meds on the market that can make a impact on the patient. Please seek out a neurologist and have that person tested. The sooner they are on meds the better.

sig229-SAS

quote:

Before I pick up slings and arrows, let me explain, of those that say 'why are you dating after only 6 months'. For the most part I 'lost' my wife 3 years ago when we were sitting in the den and she turned around and said 'when's my husband Jim coming home' I knew at that point she was quickly sliding towards that awful abyss. Everything changed on that one single day.... I hope that helps.

You'll take no 'arrows' from me, and hopefully from anyone on this board. After watching my dad and father-in-law pass this year, I have a much better understanding of the concept that people grieve and move on in their own way.

I've started a similar thread in "Rant" section of the forum about my step-dad and his dementia. Do I think my mom will be dating soon after he dies? No. Would I understand though? Absolutely.

Wishing you and your new lady-friend many years of future happiness.

My dad had a heart attack last year, and was low on O2 for about 20 min as they worked on him. His short and medium term memory is still scrambled but slowly getting a bit better, he can now remember that him and mom went out to breakfast that day, things like that.

His long term memory is somehow making up for it, I'm hearing stories of his past I never heard before.

My stepfather was demented, but he was happy. "Hello Lady, do I know you?" He asked as he got into my wife's car.
My Mom, OTOH, was suspicious to the point of paranoia.
If I have to be demented I hope I would at least be cheerful to my loved ones.

My mom has it. She is 81 and has had symptoms of it since 2010. Got diagnosed 3 or 4 years ago. My dad passed in January 2011. My brother lives 8 hours away. So it is indeed a struggle....for her to fight everyday with dementia; trying to hold on to memories .... and for me as her primary caregiver. She's been in mememory care since march and the disease has accelerated. She walked in in March and uses a walker and wheelchair now. Her neurologist is recommending he cessation of Namenda beginning January 2018 as it has lost its efficacy for her. It's truly a nasty disease.

My dad passed a year ago Memorial Day weekend after a 13-yr struggle against early-onset Alzheimers.

It was a nightmare for all of us; he was our memory bank. He remembered every detail of every day. Until he didn't even know who he was. But he was never angry, never violent.

My boss is going through the same thing now with her dad, who's only a year younger than mine. Hers, unfortunately, is getting argumentative and violent. It might not be long before he has to be on a locked war, and they're not even 2 years from the diagnosis.

I was so happy my mother showed no signs of it when she died at 87. several of her friends had it and it was probably the greatest fear she had. I have several friends whose parents are in their later 70's on up who do have it and it's just horrible. My one friend's dad is physically fine, and for 79, about as strong as a guy could be, but he was doing really crazy things. The last straw was when he "attempted" to have sex with his grandson's girlfriend. He thought she was his wife, who died 10 years ago. He's in a "memory unit" place now. He was kind of tricked into going to the place, but by the next morning, he was ok, and asked, "Do I live here?". I seem to be following in my mom's footsteps, health wise, lots of joint issues, but no memory problems. At least I hope that's how it works out.