How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in RETIREMENT . . .

1.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!

2.
On all your check stubs, write, "For Sexual Favours"

3.
Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

4.
With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.

5.
Sing along at The Opera.

6.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

7.
When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

8.
Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....'

9.
Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.