I don’t know if it’s guilt or apprehension, but I do feel weird spending money especially on myself.

As an example, I bought myself a nice watch. By any objective measure, I can afford it. The kids are still going to college, the bills are still going to get paid, we’re still going to be able to put gas in the cars, etc. Plus, it was preowned and I’d get most of what paid back of I sold it. The reality is buying the watch has a negligible effect on our finances, but I don’t feel that way. Instead, I feel like the world is going to collapse. OK, maybe not that badly and at least I’ll know what time the world collapsed.

Guilty to a degree.
The wife and I have very well paying careers, and we are classic dinks ( double income no kids)
About 8 years ago we move across country for a lot of reasons, but a big one was in a span of about 2 years went to 8 funerals all of people under 55. A number of them were military guys I served with, all sorts of causes( sudden cardiac death, rapidly progressive Lou Gehrig disease,brain tumor, leukemia, etc) my wife and I had a deep conversation - all these guys probably had dreams or ideas - when I turn 60 I am buying or doing that, when I retire I will go to x, etc
We decided if we wanted to do something go somewhere or buy something to go ahead and do it.
While I don’t hesitate to let my wife spend money, or spend on everyday stuff ( I know lots here would call guns and associated items everyday stuff) I still hold back on gun related purchases.
Don’t know why. But will only buy a new gun once I sell another, or get unexpected cash. ( work bonus, overtime, win a raffle etc)
A couple years ago I sold enough guns and related stuff to put together a 3 thousand dollar rifle, and didn’t feel guilty about i5 at all, but would have if I just gone out and bought it

No.

The older you get, the less guilty you feel.

I grew up poor and struggled for the first 9 years with my wife. I do well now and plan on spending or giving away all I've made before I die. I told my child that all our possessions will be handed down but don't expect to get to spend what my wife and I struggled most of our early lives to accumulate. No I don't feel a bit guilty.

You have to ask yourself, "what are you working FOR". What are you saving every penny FOR? What happens if you don't make it that far?

Personally I think a good phylosophy is to save 20% of your income for the future, and play with the rest. BUT this also means no or minimal debt. My dad passed away at 56 years old. That changes things and viewpoints.

My problem isn’t guilt it’s finding something that I want. I took almost all of the inheritance I received from my grandparents and put it away. The very last check I kept for myself but I just can’t seem to find anything that I want badly enough. Dining/travel doesn’t interest me much. I’m not going to spend it on a nice watch because I’m still a working man, no reason to scratch it up. Guns obviously interest me but living in Illinois I’m somewhat handcuffed there. I guess I’ll just sit on it until I stumble on something.

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:
Sometimes.

I've mentioned before that Mrs. PHPaul and I have a 3 tier system: OUR money, HER money and MY money.

OUR money is Social Security and Navy Retirement. It pays all the bills and buys groceries.

HER money is what she makes from selling eggs, redeeming cans and other odds and ends of that nature.

MY money is similar, it's what I make fixing stuff for folks.

If I'm spending MY money on toys, I don't feel even the tiniest twinge of guilt. That's what it's for. Seeing as it sometimes builds up to a fairly significant (for us, anyway...) amount I occasionally use it for unexpected bills or household purchases that would otherwise stretch our budget.

VERY rarely, I'll want/need something that MY money won't quite cover and I'll dip into OUR money. Then, depending on exactly what it is, I may feel a little guilty. I always clear that with Mrs. PHPaul first tho.

And there, my friends, is the secret to a happy and long marriage!

You are going to feel how you are gonna feel and nothing I'll say will change it. I'm ok with that if you are :-).

I would ask that you start laying the groundwork to replace your 18 year old vehicle, when cars start breaking regularly, bills pile up. It might make you feel better if you intentionally put money aside towards it and keep an eye out for a reasonably priced used car.

Be rational about it. Crunch the numbers. Make a spreadsheet. Make a budget, put in the things you want but have been hesitant to spend the money on and assess. Are you in a good place with your retirement war chest? You've been frugal, so if you are, does starting to enjoy your money look feasible rationally?

There are two types of people. Spenders and savers. I'm a spender and my wife is a saver. No guilt for me.

Guilt implies that you aren't worthy of the expenditures. I'm driving a 20 year old truck and seldom spend money, but I don't feel any 'guilt' whatsoever when I do purchase nice things. I grew up poor as well and will always have a little money anxiety, but my rational mind recognizes I'm in good shape.

My wife and I are 70; no debt, finances are pretty good. We started out pretty lean.
If we want something, we buy it. We aren't extravagant or wasteful, though.

My wife's brother is the opposite. He's now 75, single, no kids and well off.
He hates to spend money, even on necessities.

If I was single and no kids I’d live like a hermit as well. I hate spending money. Except on guns. And other necessities. Im not a miser. I do buy quality when I do spend money. I do want to buy a nicer newer car so maybe soon. But wife comes home with so much crap. That’s where the all the “stuff” comes from.

quote:

Originally posted by smlsig:

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:
Sometimes.

And there, my friends, is the secret to a happy and long marriage!

50 years as of December 31st last. Only seems like a lifetime...

Nope, not a chance in hell. I’m just a hair older than you, and I could be dead tomorrow. What good is chintzing all your money away then you cap off before getting to enjoy all that you’ve worked for? Likewise I’m not going to blow all my free money on frivolous nonsense either. You meet it in the middle somewhere. You save for retirement, a rainy day, but have some fun too.

I spend money on myself, specifically gearhead stuff, vehicles and gear. Push comes to shove, they may be depreciating assets but assets nonetheless and worth something should I be in a bind. Vacations, I take them solo, but I’m frugal about many aspects of it. I’m different than many in that I loathe spending money and not having anything to show for it. That means I’m not going to waste money going out to eat, gambling, or going to a bar. Now if I’m spending money on things I’m going to use long term and use a lot, then that’s just my game. This is a one way trip and nobody gets out of it alive.

The other side is what do you get out of blowing through your money the way most do. Statistics tell us that about 25 percent of Americans have six months of expenses saved. It also tells us that another 25 percent doesn’t have $1000 in savings. 50 percent are somewhere in between.

If having money makes you happy, do it. I support my shooting habit. But, even with that I try to buy ammo on sale. I eat out about once a week. And I pay my monthly bills. I have no debt aside from my monthly payments. And I save. And it makes me happy. And I do feel a little guilty if I spend money I don’t need to. The stuff I do buy I often will wait until it’s on sale.

And being financially secure makes me happy.

With the caveat that you don't spend more than is prudent to maintain your financial security, you should feel free to spend it if that brings you joy. If looking at your bank account or rolling around in it like Scrooge McDuck brings you joy, that's okay too.

For all of you who have no kids and still aren't spending, all I have to say is Great Karma-count me in!

The more wealth I accumulate, the less I want to let it go. I do feel guilty on large purchases, but that feeling fades pretty quick. I’m 43 and I enjoy saving and investing, instead of spending. If I ever lose or leave my job, I’ll probably never have the same level of income, so it’s getting while the getting is good.

The Ex left me with a pile of debt. I'm still paying that off, and I'll admit that I've spent a few dollars since then. I'm about six months from being free of that albatross. What will I do then? Frickin' put money away!

Will I deny myself and The Lovely Girlfriend a nice summer vacation? No. But it won't be super extravagant, either.
After 22 years and 330k miles, I'm finally buying a newer truck. I don't feel a bit of guilt about that, and my daily driver will still be a fuel-sipping 12-year-old sedan, keeping the newer ride for trips and such. Mostly.

My finance guy says I've got a 98% chance of "not outliving my money." It took me a minute to understand that statement when he made it. What that really means is that though I feel like I haven't saved as much as I should have over time, I'm still in a pretty fair spot as a reasonable retirement goes. I'm at peace with that.

So. To the original question: I feel guilty if I spend money on something and then realize later it was a stupid purchase. Examples: Hobbies I thought I'd enjoy, or an expensive bourbon. Those are expenses, not investments.

But I don't feel guilty if I'm spending on something TLG and I enjoy or something that will retain value, whether that's actual real-life value or my own perceived value.