The wife is reading a novel- The Invisible Husband of Frick Island by Colleen Oakley, pubished in 2021.

She was amused by a joke the author included in the book, about a talking dog for sale. She started to read it to me and I smiled. She said "What?"

I told her that it's an old joke, and asked if she would like to hear my version, which meanders about in the style of Norm Macdonald's "Moth" joke. It takes close to five minutes. As Norm knew, certain jokes are not so much about the punch line as they are about the telling of them.

It wasn't polite of me, I suppose, to steal the wife's thunder, but it was amusing all around.

Author Oakley's version is brief. Obviously, the joke is not hers, as I've known it for years, and it got me to thinking- what's the origin of this joke? It's probably not traceable back to its source; many or most jokes are not.

Nevertheless, I took a brief look around the internet. I found two versions on reddit- one from nine years ago, the other from 11 years ago. I found a 22 year old version.

I found a recent version which you won't be able to read, but the significance is that it refers to the joke as being "old".

It's a pointless pursuit, I suppose, as the joke almost certainly predates the internet, probably by decades, but tell me what you know about it, and when you first heard it.

Here's one of the reddit versions. It is similar to my version in a Cliff Notes fashion:

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana when he sees a sign in front of a broken down house ‘Talking Dog For Sale’. He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador sitting there.

“You talk?” he says. “Yep” the dog replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog speak, he says “So, what’s your story?”

The Lab looks up and says, “Well. I discovered I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.”

“I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.”

“I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars.” the guy says.

“Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

“Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that shit.”

I'll take that dog!!!



And, I miss Norm.

I can remember my dad telling that joke at least 30 years ago.

That's good, para. Thank you! And I have never heard it before.

The only talking dog joke I can recall is one told by comedian Jerry Clower. Of course, like you said, Jerry Clower's joke is more about the art of telling it.

I've known that joke since at least the 1960's, maybe the 50's. Never thought it was particularly funny, no dog I've ever known would have any desire to lie (unless it meant getting a cookie).

I'm 77, and know I heard it as a boy.

No idea when or where I first heard (or read, don’t remember) it, but it was a long, long time ago. Still funny though.