There's something to be said for happiness being dependent more on your expectations than on what actually happens.

If you're told you have to wait three hours for something, but you're done in two, you're pretty happy about that. If you're told it'll be one hour, and it takes two, you're pissed. The actual time taken doesn't change, only your expectations, which completely changes your outlook on it.

Of course, this is not to say you should always have low expectations. More like, be aware of whether your dissatisfaction and disappointment is because of what happened, or because of your expectations.

quote:

Originally posted by mark123:

quote:

Originally posted by Excam_Man:
I'm disappointed that you didn't send me a Christmas card.

I understand your flustration.

email me your address.

I'm just razzin ya... lifting the 'tone' as one might say.

quote:

Originally posted by Crom:
There is a book out there somewhere on this subject, but I can't remember it's name: basically, this is all a problem of of modern communication technology.

By virtually every objective measure, EVERYTHING Is actually getting better....MUCH BETTER...than it has ever been in human history.
Health, nutrition, crime, leisure time, food, income, education levels, lower disease.....you name it.

Yet virtually everyone feels like things are getting worse....because you HEAR about the worst things that have happened anywhere in the world, every day, instantly.

Thanks, CNN!

Life is more fulfilling when it's simple. Technology doesn't allow people to live simple lives because even when one wants to live simply, too many others in their social circle embraces technology and all the bullshit it comes with. The one who doesn't jump on the tech bandwagon is ostracized which leads to segregation and a lack of social interaction by societal standards.

Everyone reading this who doesn't have a Facebook, instagram, snapchat, etc. How would your life be without Sigforum? Those "tech" services replaced phone calls, conversations, meeting for a coffee or a drink, dinners, etc. Sure it didn't eliminate it entirely but how many people don't feel the desire to catch up with someone if they "like" some social media post/bullshit?

Liberals aren't the downfall of America. There's always been batshit stupid people. Social media is the real enemy because instead of having meaningful conversations, people are taking positions based upon 137 characters of fakenews.

I know resurrected thread.

posted April 25, 2018 09:18 AM Hide Post
There is a book out there somewhere on this subject, but I can't remember it's name: basically, this is all a problem of of modern communication technology.

By virtually every objective measure, EVERYTHING Is actually getting better....MUCH BETTER...than it has ever been in human history.
Health, nutrition, crime, leisure time, food, income, education levels, lower disease.....you name it.

More likely - everyone's work is micromanaged by numbers so all the numbers are faked. I find that most likely
And most people appear to be flakes

quote:

Originally posted by mark123:
Yes, I can see that as one of my problems. My communication skills are lacking in clarity.

When I do try to make myself clear it still seems to backfire. Recently, I placed an order but explained that I need to know the total before you charge my card. No call. Package arrives with a nice $65 shipping charge added. That's 30% of the product cost. That's disappointing.

Then I took a different item to an authorized repair shop for warranty work. I explained that I haven't worked for a few months so I don't want anything that's not covered. Apparently, the issue was a wear item so it wasn't covered and if I want my item back I need to pay $135. It is something I could have done myself. He also took 7 weeks to finish after promising 2.5 weeks. I'm disappointed.

Those can be forgotten as they're not relatives or friends and I never have to deal with them again. My brother and my wife's sister, on the other hand, seem to keep trying to insert themselves into our lives.

Thanks to you all for not being disappointing.

I'm not trying to solve your problem.

I just want to ask: when you explained that you needed to know the total before you charge my card, did you get a verbal acknowledgement that they committed to doing exactly that? And, usually, when I get just a "yes" or "yep," I persist in repeating my question in so many ways until I see that they get their attention when placing my request. Usually, they then repeat back in their own words my request and that satisfies me.

I get that from the navy way of doing things. Someone in charge gives a command like "Full steam ahead." The next in line repeats back to the whoever gave the command, "Aye, Aye, sir. Full steam ahead." And then the person passes on the command to the next person if necessary.

And if you did this and they still failed to live up to their commitment (because at this point, it's not about living up to your request, it's living up to their commitment), then you should follow up for a resolution. Either they can make up for it and/or promise they won't do it again next time.

And as far as family goes, it's about setting boundaries and holding firm. But in order to know this, you have to know where your yard starts and where their yard ends. You need to build a wall.

Here's a book that I believe will help: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life I used to lead group discussions on a previous edition of this book.

We live in a world of imperfect people...ourselves included. The frustration is that so many people have elevated imperfection to a high art form.

That said, I keep my friends to a small circle of people who live their lives on the value of a hand shake. Family are people I didn't get to pick. I ask nothing of them and am never disappointed. My kids are in their 40s and were raised by wolves (me). I trust them and love them. Their imperfections are pretty tolerable.