My dad who's 80, has had a couple of fender benders in the last 6-months. I found out he's written checks for damages to avoid going through insurance. However, the last two incidents within 45-days of each other, the other party are filing claims, which means there's a possibility of getting dropped by the policy and getting reported to state as a negligent driver.

At his age, things aren't going to improve, where they're located, will necessitate a move to be closer to their physicians thus, the risk to himself continuing to drive and others, will only rise.

Not looking forward to the hard conversation, looking to see how other members have had to handle this situation?

On Christmas about 5-6 years ago, my mom told us that dad turned into the wrong lanes of a divided highway. It took a while to get him to give up his license. He did not want to do it.

Its a sad thing taking away their last freedom like that. A couple years ago I was on the hiway behind a guy in the left lane doing like 40 in a 65. I was yelling and screaming and when I was finally able to go around him on the right I looked over and it was my 94 year old grandfather.

In 2009, we sold our mother's car (dad passed in 2008) because taking her license would not have stopped her.

She lived in a small North Texas town and had been diagnosed with macular degeneration. She had to cross a 2-lane highway with a 70 mph speed limit to get to the grocery store.

She told me she would look left and right, say a prayer, and "gun it."

I tried to reason with her but she just said "I have insurance and I am 78 years old so I am not worried about dying." I told her it was not her I was worried about, I was worried about others.

It can be extremely difficult dealing with aging parents. Love them and do what is right.

Yep, my Dad (83) had made some wrong turns, close calls, and then ran into a ditch. My sister and I convinced him the trooper at the “ditch” scene was the one who pulled his license (my sister, in fact, did). And he did lose it for about two months, then he got a friend in his neighborhood to drive him to a state license bureau, some two hours away, and they gave it back. After some more blatantly apparent signs of decline I told him, in no uncertain terms, that he had to stop driving. Told him we were all trying to keep him alive and now he had to do his part to help. Sadly, he passed a few months later.
And this is a man who had told me 20 years earlier, after observing his Dad, to “do me a favor and pull my keys if I ever get that bad.”

Yes, we went through his doctor.

Doctor can officially write the state and then the state sends letter rescinding license privileges.

It made things easier...more official than relatives badgering him.

quote:

Originally posted by corsair:
..., which means there's a possibility of getting dropped by the policy and getting reported to state as a negligent driver.

There's a chance, when one has too many accidents, that an insurer can determine that the driver is an unacceptable risk and non-renew the policy. But it's rare and age usually isn't factored in. I've seen old folks in their 90s with policies out driving around. Some have incredibly few accidents over the decades, and some have accidents every other month it seems. Hardly any of them get cancelled. The ones that wreck a lot usually just have their premiums jacked up and when they get sick of paying high prices due to their poor driving habits and high accident frequency, they usually leave on their own. Non-renewals are usually due to a failure to pay premiums. Other reasons can include drunk driving, racing, unidentified drivers in the household, etc.

As far as getting reported to the state as a negligent driver, I've never heard of such a thing. The state finds out when police are called. I am not sure that insurers report accidents to the state. They do report claims to ISO (Insurance Services Organization) that maintains a database of claims reported to insurers. So if you had a claim for an accident five years ago and went through State Farm, then you have an accident today and go through Allstate, then Allstate can access the data base and see some of your accident details from five years ago. I am not sure police use ISO, but I'm sure the states insurance bureaus do.

It's incredibly hard to take a license from an old folk, even if they are bad drivers. They can always get insurance somewhere. Most surrender their license voluntarily. Or you can ask a doctor to write a letter, but many won't. You can petition a court to take one, but if that person is of sound mind, it's an uphill battle.

quote:

Originally posted by Patriot:
Yes, we went through his doctor.

Doctor can officially write the state and then the state sends letter rescinding license privileges.

It made things easier...more official than relatives badgering him.

glad that worked for y'all, it was a disaster for my family. Mom said something to my Dad's doctor and that triggered a bunch of tests and dad loosing his license. From then it was hell to pay because she 'ratted him out and now he can't drive.'

There is no easy way when it's time for a loved one to stop driving unless they are willing. My father in law pretty much surrendered his keys when asked - in part because my mother in law did most of the driving at that time.

When it was time to stop my mother from driving I went to her home and took her car away. She threatened to call the police and I encouraged her to do so. She didn't as both of my sisters told they would testify that I was acting in her best interest.

Had my sister go the doctor route when her husband was no longer fit to drive. Worked out just.

One evening in the winter I stepped outside the house and smelled something burning.

My 85 year old FIL had took his car and parked it facing a large popular tree in the yard.

He put a brick on the gas pedal, when I got to it the inside of the car was full of smoke. I almost stepped back let it burn to stop his driving.


He said he was charging the battery. It’s funny now pretty sad at the time.

My Mom (78) just turned in her lease early and is no longer driving. Her macular degeneration has gotten bad enough for her to realize her driving days are over. Dad is 79 and still has good eyesight & mental sharpness. He just bought his 1st non clutch car (Audi A3 DCT), and is searching for a good used 911 (Hopefully I can still drive at 79).

I'm 84. The FAA just renewed my Flight Instructor certificate (this needs to be done every two years).

I don't need anyone to drive me to the airport. Yet.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:
I'm 84. The FAA just renewed my Flight Instructor certificate (this needs to be done every two years).

I don't need anyone to drive me to the airport. Yet.

that's the tough part -- some older folks maintain tremendous faculties well into their later years

others degenerate much earlier -- its a tough call.

-------------------------

Years ago we were about to have to have this kind of discussion with my FIL. He was becoming forgetful and was having driving issues.

One evening he went to the grocery and came out and couldn't find the car. MIL was getting worried since he had been gone so long. Police were called out at some point.

Turned out the car had been stolen. Ended up not replacing it and solved the issue.

quote:

Originally posted by lyman:
my Father had Dementia,

he drove to the store I was working at, shopped a bit, and then it took him 4 hrs to get home,

it's a 10 mile drive, basically 2 lefts and 3 rights,,,

he quit driving that day, it actually scared him that bad...

^^^^
This. Same thing with my mother who also had early dementia. I still remember her telling me about getting lost coming home from the store. Church and store were all within 2 miles of her home. It was obvious that it scared her deeply. She actually made the decision to stop driving and within a few months sold her year old Acura moved into assisted living. She would occasionally mention to me how she missed having a car and driving. It was a sad situation but I was very proud of her for doing what I probably did not possess the strength to do for myself, were it me.

My FIL was on numerous medications, and his mental state suffered for it.

We tried to get his general practitioner doctor to medically deny him his license, but the Dr. refused.

He drove himself to a different Doctor's appointment, and hit the building when he pulled in. That Dr called my wife and we had to pick him up.

He wouldn't voluntarily submit his license.

My wife ended up having to petition the State to revoke his license. It was actually quite the challenge to do so.

I was in high school, had my drivers license. One my dad said "hop in the car". We went to grandpa's house, my dad said "dad, you aren't driving any more, here son, take the keys, drive dad's car to our house".

Grandpa was mad. As I walked out the door my dad said "son, if I ever get to the point I can no longer drive safely, YOU TAKE THE KEYS AND THE CAR FROM ME".

My older sister has early dementia, we took her car about two weeks ago.

quote:

Originally posted by Scoutmaster:
I was in high school, had my drivers license. One my dad said "hop in the car". We went to grandpa's house, my dad said "dad, you aren't driving any more, here son, take the keys, drive dad's car to our house".

Grandpa was mad. As I walked out the door my dad said "son, if I ever get to the point I can no longer drive safely, YOU TAKE THE KEYS AND THE CAR FROM ME".

My older sister has early dementia, we took her car about two weeks ago.

I'm sorry about your sister. My father has dementia and my mother is frail. My sister moved in with them and does all of the driving/shopping etc. It is a blessing she was willing to do that.

quote:

Originally posted by Sig209:

others degenerate much earlier

I have been called a degenerate, but it has nothing to do with driving or flying.

I am 80, I am a curmudgeon. I am just on my way out to buy a 2018 Forester. Still good for a few years yet...