Living for someone else , perspective sought

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July 22, 2022, 07:16 PM

bendable

Living for someone else , perspective sought

Thanks
Will expand my search area to include Gilbert.

Nine people from five states are meeting near Greenfield and Main

July 22, 2022, 07:43 PM

chbibc

I've thought about this as well. My wife and I are a year apart but I would dread not having her in my life. The last line from the movie Vision Quest comes to mind:

"...I guess that's why we got to love those people who deserve it like there's no tomorrow. 'Cause when you get right down to it—there isn't." Louden Swain

July 22, 2022, 07:52 PM

nhtagmember

I am working my way through this myself. A month ago today Tracy passed away.

There isn’t a day that I don't think of her. Not one. She was in my life for 26 years and I feel she was cheated out of a much longer life.

July 24, 2022, 05:59 AM

White Phosphorus

What would this person want you to do?

I would imagine that falling into a pit of despair is not one of them.

Please,.. be brave and remain the person they fell in love with.

V.

July 24, 2022, 11:14 AM

bendable

She's told me that it's wonderful to have a man who cares so deeply for her at this stage. In her life.

But
Her actions. . . .
Very plainly tell me that
She ain't done living
And no one nor nothing is going to dictate her doing what she wants to do.

About the only influence that I've made ( from my perspective)
In her life is
I told her she had to quit smoking or else . . .
It took her three 1/2 years of trying
But she kicked it.

That was 20 years ago.

July 25, 2022, 01:38 AM

Rey HRH

I think it's good to think about these things in advance. You don't have to be unprepared when it does happen.

I did that with my dad and then, my mother. My dad had Alzheimers and I was able to grieve well in advance of his death.

I think about my wife and I. I hope she will die before me because I don't want her to grieve losing me. But I think she's more resilient than I and will do more than survive should I precede her. As for me, I don't know how I'll fare; I understand the stats on how husbands fare worse.

"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.

July 25, 2022, 11:53 AM

0-0

If you want to start thinking ahead, just make a list of all the things you can do on your own while she’s away to make her homecoming something that will show her and everyone else in this world how special she is for you.

I’m a born pessimist, bendable, and have known you and interacted with you several times over the years fixing your neighbors computer, etc.
You are a good person and a nice and caring one too. No need to prove it.
Instead of worrying, think of this as an amazing opportunity to show her how much she means to you.

Make this THE milestone of her life.

Now go and get busy.

0-0