The thread title may be somewhat vague, but I’m not sure how to title it without making the title the post…

So my neighbor (across the street and over one house) is a pretty nice guy when he’s sober. We get a long well. He’s not my favorite person, but a fairly nice guy. He needs help with random things (not mechanically inclined) and I’m happy to help. He’s a chef at a nice restaurant and many times they over order food for a special event and I end up with some nice cuts of meat or the like.

There are times (pretty regularly) where this guy has had a few too many, and then he gets a little riled up. What I mean is he gets aggressive and wants to fight, or at least put up the tough guy front. When he acts like this, I usually find a reason to leave. When he gets this way, he’s literally falling down drunk, and I’m not going to beat his ass, even though at times I would really like to.
His girlfriend/fiancée drinks just as much. She received a rather large inheritance when her grandfather passed away, so they own the house outright. They aren’t moving, especially in this real estate market.

The whole point of this thread is that he’s always been a drunk driver. He heads to the local convenience store to re-up the booze. Now I don’t mind that the guy is a drunk. Makes no difference to me. When people drink and drive, I have an issue with that. Lately, it’s a daily affair. Regularly I see him struggle to walk to the vehicle, and off he goes.

Last night he left and made it back, but was so smashed that he left the car door open, the headlights on, and the garage door open (parked in the driveway). It was quite the monsoon last night. Over three inches of rain. So maybe a little karma happened, although it’s not enough to change his ways.

I would like to stay on good terms with my neighbors. I’m not a big fan of calling the cops. I’m also not a big fan of the fact that one of these days, he may take someone out when he’s driving drunk. Talking to him is a futile effort. I have tried.

The options I see are:

to catch him before he gets in the car and kick the shit out of him. (This is not a great option as I could end up in jail, have issues with my neighbor in the future, or maybe he gets lucky and turns the tables and I get hurt.

Call the police and let them deal with it. There is the possibility that he finds out I’m a rat, and then there are problems in the neighborhood.

Look the other way (which I’m not good at) and hop that he doesn’t kill an innocent person on his shitfaced escapade to the booze shop.

So what would you do? I’m open for advice.

quote:

Call the police and let them deal with it.

This is the only answer. (Nothing else will make a difference, save getting his family to get him to rehab...not likely)

quote:

Originally posted by PGT:

quote:

Call the police and let them deal with it.

This is the only answer. (Nothing else will make a difference, save getting his family to get him to rehab...not likely)

Agreed. There's a reason drunks/addicts say they have to hit rock bottom before they can make a change. They are the last one to see or admit the truth and the legal system is the only way they get forced into accepting that truth.

Maybe a DUI will wake him up, maybe not

Call the police when you see him leave drunk, I think you are obligated

quote:

Originally posted by gearhounds:

quote:

Originally posted by PGT:

quote:

Call the police and let them deal with it.

This is the only answer. (Nothing else will make a difference, save getting his family to get him to rehab...not likely)

Agreed. There's a reason drunks/addicts say they have to hit rock bottom before they can make a change. They are the last one to see or admit the truth and the legal system is the only way they get forced into accepting that truth.

Speaking from experience, it may not even take law enforcement for him to hit the bottom but I agree.
He may get arrested, do jail time, spend a weekend holed up (Ohio law) but in the end, he has to want to stop. Nothing else will help unless he is willing to get help or wants it.

I'd report him to the cops. How many other houses/neighbors are there on your street? If you are not the only one, you have plausible deniability.

Another vote for calling the law, hopefully the man won’t bow up on them. Let the professionals handle it before he kills someone or himself.

Let me ask you this. How would you feel if he killed or maimed some kid walking or riding his bike down the street and you had just seen him leave his house smashed?

Call the cops. Do you want an innocent victim on your conscience?

Definitely call the police when he takes off plastered. You probably know where he's going. Why not call the police and ask them for advice?

Funny you consider beating him up but not actually helping him.

quote:

Let the professionals handle it before he kills someone

Teach him to plan better for his drinking. Tell him buy your shit before you start drinking or risk me calling the cops if I see you leave and you are visibly intoxicated. Your choice buddy, I'm not going to try and stop you from drinking, but I will stop you from putting others on the road at risk for your carelessness.

Probably lose a decent relationship with your neighbor, but you've put him on notice. He will know what the consequences are if he does it. If he chooses to do so and you catch him he can't be mad, and you won't feel guilty.

You know what you need to do.

A private conversation with one or more of the uniformed cops working in your neighborhood. A good cop can make the right things happen without mentioning that a complaint had been made, and no official record needs to exist. Just "Well, I was conducting routine patrol when I observed a vehicle being operated in an erratic manner, so I stopped the vehicle and LO AND BEHOLD, THE DRIVER WAS OBVIOUSLY INTOXICATED".

The officer's probable cause affidavit doesn't necessarily have to mention a neighbor's report or identify the source.

Just a friendly little conversation like "Officer, if you happen to see a dark blue ABC Model 123 with license number DEF-456, driven by a tall-short-fat-thin-guy-with-a-long-complexion, in the vicinity of the X-hundred block of Anystreet heading toward the little Stop-N-Rob store for liquor, usually between 5PM and 9PM, you might want to pay close attention, just for the safety of other people in the area, you know?"

A good cop will understand what needs to be done.

If one of my kids were as you described your neighbor I'd call the cops if I couldn't stop them myself. Beating the shit out of someone only creates more problems for yourself and the original problem remains. When you see him leave call the cops. It's one thing they will still respond to.

My neighborhood entrance comes off the main road, and the entrance road is about a 100 yards long before there is a stop sign as it's a tee (ie. must go left or right). Last year, we had someone blow through the stop sign, drive through front yard across street, drive over 4 year old tree, and hit the gas meter on the side of the neighboring home.

The homeowner with the gas meter hit was home officing and his wife and 2 kids were home. He heard the boom, smelled gas, evacuated his family, and called 911. The gas company was working in the neighborhood so they arrived in a minute and beat the police. Slightly different circumstances and the house blows up.

The vehicle's driver said they didn't feel well so walked home, and so there was a large gap in witnessing her actions before police arrived. The driver was hammered in the middle of the afternoon. Turns out all of the drunk's neighbors had done nothing about her drunk driving despite months and months of seeing her stagger from her car, bottles fall out of her car when door opened, weaving down the street, missing her driveway, etc.

I wrote all of that for the OP to think about how eventually something worse is going to happen. I certainly wouldn't want it on my conscience if I did nothing about a drunk driver who eventually killed one of my neighbors.

This post is like listening to my wife vent. Do you want a solution or are you just venting. Horrible advice on this advice from start to finish. “Go have a talk with him to better plan his drinking”. Ever met a drunk? Why not just volunteer to make booze runs for him?

Beat him up? What the fuck are you saying? That’s beyond stupid.

You have to call the cops. There is no middle ground. He needs to be arrested before he kills someone.

When I was in the military police I saw a whole family plus one of the kids girl friend killed by a drunk driver. Only survivor was a toddler in a car seat. The drunk POS was fine. Mom,Dad, brother and sister and brothers GF all dead.
I hate drunk drivers more than anything. Call the cops on him every damn day you see him stumble out to his car. Don’t settle for them telling you they are on it and just hanging up. Get this bastard caught.

quote:

Originally posted by yanici:
Let me ask you this. How would you feel if he killed or maimed some kid walking or riding his bike down the street and you had just seen him leave his house smashed?

this is pretty much where I'm at

i am usually a big MMOB guy -- but when he puts other peoples lives in peril you have to draw the line

good luck -- its a crappy situation but he has brought it on himself

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Drunks kill people with zero remorse.

Call the police to follow him before he kills someone.

I don't like snitching on my neighbors, or anybody else, either. But sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Like the time we had the relative of a neighbor staying at said neighbor's exposing himself to the women in the neighborhood. Or the neighbor who neglected her yard so badly it became a health hazard (mosquitoes, threat of rat infestation).

I'd notify local LE.