Customer service phrases that serve to irritate rather than help.
Your call is important to us on a recording. Email addressed to Valued Customer or Valued Provider {Proper name would be nice or Dear Sir or Madam} Response to an email without a name.
July 24, 2018, 05:58 PM
ArtieS
How about distorted hold music, or hold music with tons of static. I've had both of those. It's a real joy.
"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."
Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
July 24, 2018, 06:02 PM
Skins2881
para Espanol oprima dos.
Fuck you machine, get a human.
Jesse
Sic Semper Tyrannis
July 24, 2018, 06:06 PM
arfmel
“We are currently experiencing high call volume”
Like always. Hire some extra help.
July 24, 2018, 06:09 PM
V-Tail
Customer Service: "How are you today?"
Me: "I am fucking pissed, because your product doesn't work worth a shit, and I have been on hold for twenty-three minutes. How are you?"
הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
July 24, 2018, 06:10 PM
egregore
"Please listen carefully as the menu options have changed." They're the same as the last dozen times I called. (I used to make payments on one of my credit accounts by phone. Long story.)
July 24, 2018, 06:14 PM
redstone
Removed.This message has been edited. Last edited by: redstone,
This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it. -Rear Admiral (Lower Half) Joshua Painter Played by Senator Fred Thompson
July 24, 2018, 06:20 PM
12131
ZSMICHAEL, what's your deal!?
Q
July 24, 2018, 06:25 PM
P250UA5
quote:
Originally posted by redstone: Chickfila
I love them but everytime they say "it's my pleasure" I want to throat punch someone.
They lost my order twice. And when they finally got it right she said "it's my pleasure " I had to snarl, "I don't care about your pleasure I would have liked to eat with my friends, can you bag it to go?"
They're so conditioned to replying with 'my pleasure' that my coworker likes to mess with them. He closes with 'have a nice day' instead of their expected 'thank you'. Said it usually gives them a stumble from their conditioned response.
The Enemy's gate is down.
July 24, 2018, 06:27 PM
bubbatime
quote:
Originally posted by redstone: Chickfila
I love them but everytime they say "it's my pleasure" I want to throat punch someone.
They lost my order twice. And when they finally got it right she said "it's my pleasure " I had to snarl, "I don't care about your pleasure I would have liked to eat with my friends, can you bag it to go?"
BIG MAN ON CAMPUS likes to smack down some overly friendly teenagers! Bravo!
______________________________________________________ Often times a very small man can cast a very large shadow
July 24, 2018, 06:29 PM
bubbatime
I hate when the counter person calls me “boss”.
I hate it.
______________________________________________________ Often times a very small man can cast a very large shadow
July 24, 2018, 06:36 PM
redstone
Response also removed. The righteous have spoken.This message has been edited. Last edited by: redstone,
This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it. -Rear Admiral (Lower Half) Joshua Painter Played by Senator Fred Thompson
July 24, 2018, 06:39 PM
Opus Dei
quote:
Originally posted by bubbatime: I hate when the counter person calls me “boss”.
I hate it.
Ex-convict, maybe.
July 24, 2018, 06:46 PM
ZSMICHAEL
July 24, 2018, 06:52 PM
Otto Pilot
I am old fashioned in some ways, but if we haven't met and we are talking over the phone, I am Mr. Pilot not Otto to you Mr. Customer Service Agent person.
I realize that it is supposed to set me at ease and create rapport, however, that's not how it works with me.
______________________________________________ Aeronautics confers beauty and grandeur, combining art and science for those who devote themselves to it. . . . The aeronaut, free in space, sailing in the infinite, loses himself in the immense undulations of nature. He climbs, he rises, he soars, he reigns, he hurtles the proud vault of the azure sky. — Georges Besançon
July 24, 2018, 06:53 PM
sjtill
I love it when I hear CFA youngsters say “It’s my pleasure!” Loved it the first time, still do. Compared with everything else going on in this country, this is one of the very best things going.
_________________________ “Remember, remember the fifth of November!"
July 24, 2018, 06:58 PM
JALLEN
quote:
Originally posted by sjtill: I love it when I hear CFA youngsters say “It’s my pleasure!” Loved it the first time, still do. Compared with everything else going on in this country, this is one of the very best things going.
Yes indeed.
I am put off when someone “reaches out to their partners.”
Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.
When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson
"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown
July 24, 2018, 07:15 PM
V-Tail
quote:
Originally posted by Otto Pilot: I am old fashioned in some ways, but if we haven't met and we are talking over the phone, I am Mr. Pilot not Otto
One of my pet peeves, and I do let them know about it.
הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
July 24, 2018, 07:32 PM
walkinghorse
Estimated wait time is XX minutes, please continue to hold as we value as a customer/ client, then when XX minutes is reached, due to heavy call volume, a new XX minutes is announced, or your call is cutoff ! Then you finally get through, the customer reply cannot assist you, and kicks the call somewhere else (maybe another planet?) as the wait announcement starts again!
Jim
July 24, 2018, 07:36 PM
walkinghorse
quote:
Originally posted by walkinghorse: Estimated wait time is XX minutes, please continue to hold as we value you as a customer/ client, then when XX minutes is reached, new announcement, due to heavy call volume, a new XX minutes is announced, or your call is cutoff ! Then you finally get through, the customer representative cannot assist you, and kicks the call somewhere else (maybe another planet?) as the wait announcement starts again!
*sort of like dealing with spell check that changes correct spelling or usage as you press the submit button!
