quote:

Originally posted by Sr_Bull:
He needs to understand Oklahomans are our red headed inbred step cousins. And jokes abound.

Why do birds fly upside down in Oklahoma?

Cause there ain’t nothing worth shitting on up there!

I told a Texan, hey look at that dead bird.

Dang fool looked up and said Where? I don't get it?


OK, I give as good as I get. Here ya go!

How about some Babylon Bee? LINK to Babylon Bee

Texas Annexes Oklahoma, Turns Entire State Into One Giant Buc-ee's
OKLAHOMA—Texas has announced the unilateral annexation of Oklahoma. The entire state will be leveled and turned into one giant Buc-ee's convenience store, according to sources within the Texas state government.

The move was made as part of an attempt to find a use for the state to the north of Texas, as it seemed to just be acres and acres of nothing worthwhile.

"There, that's a far better use of these 7,000 useless square miles," said Texas Governor Greg Abbott as bulldozers began demolishing the trailer parks, exotic cat zoos, and lame gas stations with fewer than 48 pumps that made up the state of Oklahoma. "Finally -- weary travelers just passing through Oklahoma can experience fine refreshments, plenty of gas pumps, and extremely tasty snacks."

Abbott then bit into a glazed pistachio. "Oh, man. This is to die for."

The governor then cut a ribbon with a bayonet attached to an AR-15, officially opening the massive Buc-ee's. The new fueling station has 800,000,000 pumps, 50,000 barbecue pits, hundreds of square miles of delicious flavored nuts, and over 10,000,000 of the cleanest bathrooms you'll ever use.

quote:

Originally posted by MelissaDallas:
He needs a pronunciation guide for Texas towns (Gruene=zgreen, Rio Vista = Rye-o-vista, Joshua = Josh-U-Way, Denton = Dentn, etc. or folks are gonna laugh at him.

My favorite is the west TX town of Ysleta. Should be E-'slay-tuh. They pronounce it Why-suh-'lee-tuh.

I was today years old when I learned what “ sedulously” means.
flashguy has quite an extensive vocabulary.

quote:

Originally posted by PKFan:
My favorite is the west TX town of Ysleta. Should be E-'slay-tuh. They pronounce it Why-suh-'lee-tuh.

"They" who? The locals don't. We pronounced it "eh-slettuh."

Not from Texas, but he should probably learn to slow down when he talks and expect everyone to comment on his accent he may not realize he has.

When something is particularly fine or interesting:

That's neater than a skeeter's peter!

Old guy that I used to build fences with in Dallas had two that stuck with me:

“Six of one, half dozen the other”

“He’s more crooked than a dog’s hind leg”

I use both frequently and have for the last 25 years.

Thing is, unless you’re from there, or lived there long enough to actually pick up the lingo, you’re going to call a lot of unwanted attention to yourself dropping ‘skeeter peters like it’s normal for you. Maybe don’t be that kind of yankee.

Like, don’t race out and buy a pair of Justins and a Garth Brooks hat. Definitely don’t wear fucking spurs. Show up, be yourself unless that interferes with the next point which is be polite, and then just be polite instead. Listen more than you talk. Make fun of Texas and Texans if you’d really like to live somewhere else.

quote:

Originally posted by PKFan:

quote:

Originally posted by MelissaDallas:
He needs a pronunciation guide for Texas towns (Gruene=zgreen, Rio Vista = Rye-o-vista, Joshua = Josh-U-Way, Denton = Dentn, etc. or folks are gonna laugh at him.

My favorite is the west TX town of Ysleta. Should be E-'slay-tuh. They pronounce it Why-suh-'lee-tuh.

Burnet, it's Bur-nit, Durn-it, Learn-it....

Learn and understand the saying "All Hat, No Cattle". Don't be that guy.

Actually that's good wisdom to understand anywhere.
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quote:

Originally posted by bigguy:
I was today years old when I learned what “ sedulously” means.
flashguy has quite an extensive vocabulary.

I try. I first came across that word in an item called "The Soul of Wit". You can see the text here (without the title): https://sublimeeloquence.wordp...-page-1/#comment-434
The text after the blank line was added later.

flashguy

Thought of another saying...

If someone is acting like a complete dolt or saying something that is just so off the reservation and you want to comment that they're being a complete and total idiot without using those words, all you have to say is, "Well bless their heart...". It is most often used when Libtards have their cake holes yapping.

We Texans know what that means. It means you're a MORON!!!

Although not originally from the Great State of Texas, I lived there for 11 years. One thing you need to understand is the use of "y'all" and "all y'all." "Y'all" can be singular, or it can be plural. The term "All Y'all" is always plural. I guarantee you will hear it pretty much everyday. God Bless Texas.

Always liked the term "Blue Nor-ther"

Despite all the Oklahoma jokes, Okies still refer to Texas as “Baja Oklahoma”.

quote:

Originally posted by TexasScrub:
"we useta could" is my favorite Texism

That reminds me of something, and this may be more true on the North side of the Red River yet still valid on the South side: I might could.

If you are asking for help or a favor and someone pauses and then replies “I might could” this is good news. It’s a country way of saying “Yes I can and will do”. Just be a bit patient and it will happen.
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Thar ain't no beans in Chili...

quote:

Originally posted by Wingsfan:
One thing you need to understand is the use of "y'all" and "all y'all."

I worked on a project with a fellow from our office in Texas. "Y'all" pretty much appeared in all his emails. I've incorporated it into my own lexicon.

quote:

Originally posted by Blackmore:
Always liked the term "Blue Nor-ther"

And there ain’t nothin’ between the North Pole and Texas but a bob wahr fence…

quote:

Originally posted by HRK:
Thar ain't no beans in Chili...

That's certainly true of "Texas chili". I grew up with, and still prefer, "Midwest chili" which is made with kidney beans in it. My mom's chili was the greatest!

flashguy