Massey: We'll fertilize the lawn, dig little holes all over the place with a high tech machine to aerate the lawn, and we'll get rid of grubs, chinch bugs and other creepy crawlies.

One day later,

Neighborhood armadillo: Hold my beer and watch this!

(Massey actually has done a very good job for us over the past year)

So, do you get your own exclusive armadillo, or do you have to share it with the neighbors? What's the NPK number on armadillo poop? You might be getting quite a bargain.

We have no armadillos up here. But the crows will take care of the grubs and tear up (aerate) the lawn. They sit in branches tormenting me. Are they there for the grubs or to carry my soul away? One never knows.