How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her.

I've been practicing horticulture.

I even took one to the museum.

Why does a dog lick his balls?
Because he can.

^^^^^^^^^
I keep fallin' off the couch

Feller dropped in to chat with his neighbor and noticed the dog laying on the porch licking his balls.

Feller sez "Damn, I wish I could do that!"

Owner sez "Well, go ahead if you really want to, but I believe I'd pet him some first."

What do you call dental xrays? Tooth Pics.

Whoever invented Dentures probably regrets not naming them "Substitooths".

You shouldn't use Beef Stew as a password. It's not Stroganoff.

How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it, of course.

There are three women at the OB GYN. A redhead a brunette and a blond. They are chit chatting and the red head says, well I was on top so we are having a girl. The brunette says, I was on bottom so we are having a boy. The blond bursts out in uncontrollable tears! The other two women try to console her and ask what's wrong? Then she blurts out I'm gonna have puppies!

One afternoon an old couple is sitting on a park bench. The wife grabbed her purse and slaps her husband. He yells at her, ‘Why did you hit me’?
She says that’s for 40 years of the worst sex any woman has ever had to endure.

The man goes back to reading his paper. A few moments later he grabs his cane and jabs his wife in the ribs. She yells at him ‘ why did you do that‘? He said, ‘ that’s for knowing the difference‘!

What do a waiter and a Rabbi have in common?

They both take tips…

quote:

Originally posted by Patrick-SP2022:
I've been practicing horticulture.

I even took one to the museum.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

quote:

Originally posted by gearhounds:

What do a waiter and a Rabbi have in common?

They both take tips…

Circumcision in the Jewish tradition is performed by a mohel. Many mohels are Rabbis, but that is not a requirement. A mohel might be a Rabbi, a cantor, a doctor, or a trained lay person.

Now if you want a joke about a mohel, here's one for you:

---

A man was traveling on business. He had many appointments to keep, so it was a real problem for him when his watch stopped working.

Fortunately, he happened to pass a store that had a large display of clocks and watches in the window.

"Aha!" he thought, "I will ask the watchmaker in this store to repair my watch."

He went into the store and did not see anybody, so he peeked into the back room, where he saw a devout Jew reading the Talmud and praying.

"Pardon me," the traveler said. "My watch stopped working and I need it repaired."

"By me is not a watchmaker," said the Jew, "I am a mohel."

"But why are all those clocks and watches in the store window if you are a mohel?"

The Jewish man replied, "Nu, what do you think I should put in the window?"

Most gentiles don't know what a mohel is, though.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don’t.

Why did the programmer cut off one of his child’s fingers? So he could count to ten.