This one is old, but heard it again the other day and laughed like I'd never heard it, so figured there might be a few pups around who hadn't gotten to hear it:

Older brother was talking outside to younger brother. "It's 'bout time we learned to use cuss words, we're fixin' to be men soon." Younger brother wholeheartedly agreed, so older brother came up with a plan. "At some point today, I'll use the word 'hell' and you use the word 'ass' around the house. Younger brother was all in.

They went back inside together, and mom asked older brother what he wanted for breakfast. "Hell, I guess Cheerios will be fine," he said. Chaos ensued, with mom beating older brother and fussing at him, then sending him to his room with nothing to eat.

Mom then returned to the kitchen, looked at little brother, and asked "What would you like to eat?"

Without missing a beat, younger brother said "I'm not sure, but you can bet yer ass it won't be Cheerios!"

Re: “Chaos ensued, with mom beating older brother and fussing at him, then sending him to his room with nothing to eat.”

Probably should be: “Chaos ensued, with mom berating older brother and fussing at him, then sending him to his room with nothing to eat.”

As old as the joke is, 'beating' was probably correct. Not anymore, though.

I can't see the keyboard to type through the tears. Hope I don't make a mom,akr.

I thought his reply would be, after his mother asked what he wanted to eat for breakfast, would have been - ASS!

Buddy Hackett told a variation of this joke that I've always remembered. 90% was Hackett's delivery of course.

Father takes his two sons, one 7 and one 5, to the local diner for lunch. They all three sit at the counter. Waitress comes up and asks the 7 year old "What would you like to eat sweetie?" Kid replies, "I want me a God damn cheeseburger." POW! Father backhands his 7year old right off the stool. Waitress tries to cover by turning to the 5year old. "How about you sweetie? What would you like to order?" Kid says, "Well you can bet your sweet ass I'm not gonna order no God damn cheeseburger!"

quote:

Originally posted by Expert308:
As old as the joke is, 'beating' was probably correct. Not anymore, though.

This may explain some of the issues with kids today.

now that was funny - stolen

quote:

Originally posted by Pipe Smoker:


Re: “Chaos ensued, with mom beating older brother and fussing at him, then sending him to his room with nothing to eat.”

Probably should be: “Chaos ensued, with mom berating older brother and fussing at him, then sending him to his room with nothing to eat.”

In my neck of the woods, it's still beating. Maybe with a belt, maybe with a hand or a paddle, but a whoopin' is a whoopin'.