July 4th boat ride with gay guys and a drunk divorcee
I live on a lake that gets quite busy on the holidays. I walked over to a friends to see how their party was going on a rainy Independence day. Most are in the house when I get there but I walk to dock to be greeted by a recently divorced attractive friend who is obviously lit up. She asks me if I want to go for a boat ride with them.
I had just stepped out for a moment from my get together and gamble that the boat ride will be short and won't get me in trouble at my house. Since my dad didn't raise any fools, I turn down few opportunities to be amused by the company of drunk attractive women.
Also going on the boat ride is my sailboat racing crew, the daughter of the host of the party, and her gay cousin. The cousin is a bank owning president, who doesn't miss family lake get togethers. Never seen him with the same partner twice, this time he brought two.
All seats out of the rain are taken, so I stand behind the helm on the pontoon boat and grab the support for the top. Three gay guys to left, and the drunk divorcee and her quiet friend in front of them on the other side.
The drunk divorcee is much more talkative than when sober, funny to watch since I've only seen her drunk a few times. I usually see her less made up, but in a swimsuit, since we often water ski together. I'm glad she is talking a lot, since it allows me reason to keep looking at her smiling pretty face. I'm immersed in patriotic reflection when suddenly out of the red, white and blue, she starts talking about how studly I look. She runs down a list of reasons why from clothing to stance. Don't think the gay guys even glanced over my way during the entire embarrassing but elevating spiel. They were either stunned at the way heteros operate, don't care about hetero men, or had me memorized. Maybe they were thinking: "That's what straight people think studly?"
My response to the divorcee's calling me studly was: "I thought you'd be used to it by now" since I've known her for 15 years. Maybe she thinks I need to branch out a bit, and was trying to point me out the 3 guys on the left. The captain's daughter may have thought the same since when docking she yells: "Grab a line stern boy!" She called yesterday to help set up her sailboat for racing. When I got close I yelled: "Never fear, stern boy is here!"This message has been edited. Last edited by: pbslinger, July 06, 2017 11:14 AM
July 06, 2017, 08:28 AM
old rugged cross
So did your wife like your story too?
"Practice like you want to play in the game"
July 06, 2017, 08:32 AM
chellim1
quote:
I turn down few opportunities to be amused by the company of drunk attractive women.
Good story.... keep going.
"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." -- Justice Janice Rogers Brown
"The United States government is the largest criminal enterprise on earth." -rduckwor
July 06, 2017, 08:35 AM
DonDraper
I have no idea what's going on here. I hope this is part one of at least three...
-------------------- I like Sigs and HK's, and maybe Glocks
July 06, 2017, 08:36 AM
pbslinger
quote:
Originally posted by old rugged cross: So did your wife like your story too?
You ever try to get a word in edgeways around Jewish women? Never got a chance to tell her. Maybe today.
July 06, 2017, 08:41 AM
a1abdj
Dear Boating Magazine,
I'm a middle aged straight guy, and never thought I'd be writing to Boating Magazine, but.....
"If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24
July 06, 2017, 08:46 AM
CQB60
Do prey tell, how did this end? Post a picture of the divorcee if you dare as the forum has quite the interest in such matters
______________________________________________ Life is short. It’s shorter with the wrong gun…
July 06, 2017, 09:20 AM
JWF
Never say stern boy around a gay person.
Just another day in paradise.
July 06, 2017, 09:23 AM
xl_target
quote:
Originally posted by CQB60: Do prey tell, how did this end? Post a picture of the divorcee if you dare as the forum has quite the interest in such matters
Yeah, enquiring minds want to know.
July 06, 2017, 09:28 AM
TXJIM
quote:
Originally posted by JWF: Never say stern boy around a gay person.
And never invite them down to the aft cabin
______________________________ “I'd like to know why well-educated idiots keep apologizing for lazy and complaining people who think the world owes them a living.” ― John Wayne
July 06, 2017, 09:30 AM
JALLEN
You realize she is just practicing on you, for the day she encounters a wealthy widower.
Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.
When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson
"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown
July 06, 2017, 09:35 AM
RHINOWSO
quote:
Originally posted by JALLEN: You realize she is just practicing on you, for the day she encounters a wealthy widower.
Yeah, but if the OP is single he can probably get a couple of free rides out of it.
Which with a recently divorced woman is all you really want anyway.
July 06, 2017, 09:47 AM
mr kablammo
If the boat's a-rockin', Don't come a-knockin'.
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye". The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, pilot and author, lost on mission, July 1944, Med Theatre.
"we've gotta roll with the punches, learn to play all of our hunches Making the best of what ever comes our way Forget that blind ambition and learn to trust your intuition Plowing straight ahead come what may And theres a cowboy in the jungle" Jimmy Buffet
July 06, 2017, 10:06 AM
Leemur
Dear Penthouse Forum...
July 06, 2017, 10:11 AM
JALLEN
quote:
Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
quote:
Originally posted by JALLEN: You realize she is just practicing on you, for the day she encounters a wealthy widower.
Yeah, but if the OP is single he can probably get a couple of free rides out of it.
Which with a recently divorced woman is all you really want anyway.
When have rides ever been "free?"
Anyway, the inference above is he's married, so the cost of those rides goes way up.
Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.
When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson
"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown
July 06, 2017, 10:13 AM
Combat Vet
quote:
Originally posted by pbslinger:
quote:
Originally posted by old rugged cross: So did your wife like your story too?
You ever try to get a word in edgeways around Jewish women? Never got a chance to tell her. Maybe today.
so true!
July 06, 2017, 10:15 AM
IndyRob
There's a dirty joke about gay guys, stern boy and the Head somewhere in this story :P
July 06, 2017, 10:25 AM
pbslinger
quote:
Originally posted by IndyRob: There's a dirty joke about gay guys, stern boy and the Head somewhere in this story :P
I wouldn't touch this with a 10 foot whisker pole.
