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Twas the Night Before Christmas-a humorous political commercial from a local business owner

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https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/8530031564

January 05, 2020, 06:21 PM
Modern Day Savage
Twas the Night Before Christmas-a humorous political commercial from a local business owner
Throughout the year a local business owner take out a handful of radio ads that typically play for several weeks to a few months. He starts out by making poignant but humorous political observations, then makes a funny transition into promoting his business.

Although he doesn't explicitly state it, it is obvious from his comments that he is a Conservative and Pro 2A business owner. In the past he has done commercials commenting on gun control, socialism, and the Cavanaugh hearing.

I have never met the owner, never used their services, and have no connection to them...but I get a kick and a smile every time I hear one of their radio commercials. He does his own narrating for each of his commercials and, while I don't know this for fact, I'd guess he writes his own comments for them as well.

(Yes, I know Christmas has passed. I had hoped to post this before Christmas but his radio commercial airs at different times each day and its difficult to jot down the words while driving or working on other things. I've been trying to memorize individual stanzas over the last month, and think I have it about right.)

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Twas the Night Before Christmas and all through the House
The Rats were scurrying, looking for a Louse

Their subpoenas were hung in their chambers with care
In the hopes that impeachment would soon be there

The media nestled in bed with each other
With visions of Orange Man, they hated like no other

When out in the public there arose such a clatter
We watched your Clown Show and none of it matters

Then came a bellow from the from the White House Lawn
On Schiff on Nadler on Maloney on Castro on Carson he shouted with glee
You better get used to four more years of me!

I’m Bruce Buckner of Windshields Express
Give us a call, we're sure to impress

If you don’t know the prefix it is 632
And the rest of it is 2042

If it's auto glass you need
Windshieldsexpress.com is the address you will need

I looked and I looked and took my time
but Dot Com and Merry Christmas are hard words to rhyme

Call us today at 632-2042

Your CCW welcome in my place of business
And, here, we say Merry Christmas!

January 05, 2020, 06:25 PM
ridewv
Cute, I'd use them if I needed a windshield!


No car is as much fun to drive, as any motorcycle is to ride.
January 05, 2020, 06:50 PM
P220 Smudge
That’s excellent! Big Grin

Last few stanzas got a belly laugh out of me. Big Grin


______________________________________________
"If the truth shall kill them, let them die.”

Endeavoring to master the subtle art of the grapefruit spoon.
January 05, 2020, 07:12 PM
Beancooker
Pretty great. Thanks for sharing.



quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
I'd fly to Turks and Caicos with live ammo falling out of my pockets before getting within spitting distance of NJ with a firearm.