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Festina Lente |
Quick: Rate how much you agree with each of these items on a scale of 1 (“not me at all”) to 5 (“this is so me”): It is important to me that people who hurt me acknowledge that an injustice has been done to me. I think I am much more conscientious and moral in my relations with other people compared to their treatment of me. When people who are close to me feel hurt by my actions, it is very important for me to clarify that justice is on my side. It is very hard for me to stop thinking about the injustice others have done to me. If you scored high (4 or 5) on all of these items, you may have what psychologists have identified as a “tendency for interpersonal victimhood.” While most people tend to overcome socially ambiguous situations with relative ease—regulating their emotions and acknowledging that social ambiguity is an unavoidable part of social life—some people tend to see themselves as perpetual victims. Rahav Gabay and her colleagues define this tendency for interpersonal victimhood as “an ongoing feeling that the self is a victim, which is generalized across many kinds of relationships. As a result, victimization becomes a central part of the individual’s identity.” Those who have a perpetual victimhood mindset tend to have an “external locus of control”; they believe that one’s life is entirely under the control of forces outside one’s self, such as fate, luck or the mercy of other people. Based on clinical observations and research, the researchers found that the tendency for interpersonal victimhood consists of four main dimensions: (a) constantly seeking recognition for one’s victimhood, (b) moral elitism, (c) lack of empathy for the pain and suffering of others, and (d) frequently ruminating about past victimization. Truth is, we currently live in a culture where many political and cultural groups and individuals emphasize their victimhood identity and compete in the “Victimhood Olympics.” Charles Sykes, author of A Nation of Victims: The Decay of the American character, noted that this stems in part from the entitlement of groups and individuals for happiness and fulfillment. Building on Sykes’ work, Gabay and her colleagues note: “When these feelings of entitlement are combined with a high individual-level tendency for interpersonal victimhood, social change struggles are more likely to take an aggressive, disparaging, and condescending form.” But there’s the thing: If socialization processes can instill in individuals a victimhood mindset, then surely the very same processes can instill in people a personal growth mindset. What if we all learned at a young age that our traumas don’t have to define us? That it’s possible to have experienced a trauma and for victimhood to not form the core of our identity? That it’s even possible to grow from trauma, to become a better person, to use the experiences we’ve had in our lives toward working to instill hope and possibility to others who were in a similar situation? What if we all learned that it’s possible to have healthy pride for an in-group without having out-group hate? That if you expect kindness from others, it pays to be kind yourself? That no one is entitled to anything, but we all are worthy of being treated as human? This would be quite the paradigm shift, but it would be in line with the latest social science that makes clear that a perpetual victimhood mindset leads us to see the world with rose-tinted glasses. With a clear lens, we’d be able to see that not everyone in our out-group is evil, and not everyone in our in-group is a saint. We’re all human with the same underlying needs to belong, to be seen, to be heard and to matter. Seeing reality as clearly as possible is an essential step to making long-lasting change, and I believe one important step along that path is to shed the perpetual victimhood mindset for something more productive, constructive, hopeful and amenable to building positive relationships with others. https://www.scientificamerican...ndset-of-victimhood/ NRA Life Member - "Fear God and Dreadnaught" | ||
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Member |
There have always been victims. More pop psychology here. Nothing to see. Has to do with your upbringing, nothing more. | |||
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Do---or do not. There is no try. |
I wonder how many times it would take for the author(s) of this article to get burglarized, beaten, or terrorized to step up and defend themselves... | |||
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Member |
ScientificAmerican really isn't and is more an oxymoron! Contribution standards are not reality! -------------------------------- On the inside looking out, but not to the west, it's the PRK and its minions! | |||
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Ammoholic |
1) if is the imagined slight that so many seem to freak out about, I don’t even shrug it off, I just ignore it and move on. If we are talking serious injury, the goal is to do unto others first if I can’t avoid the situation. Shame on me if I failed. 2) I do try to be a good human. It isn’t my place to judge whether I’m better at it than anyone else. I certainly screw up plenty. 3) when people who are close to me feel hurt by my actions, either I screwed up (generally by being insensitive or overly mission focused) or they are being overly thin skinned. Sadly, it is probably more of the former than the latter, but I am (still) trying to do better. 4) I don’t have time to worry about that shit. I’ve either moved on to something else or if it is that big a deal I’m busy plotting revenge. I have trouble imagining how folks who score high on that nonsense get through life. | |||
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Alea iacta est |
I’m not sure you guys read the whole article. The author is admonishing the victimhood behavior. The phrase “ tendency for interpersonal victimhood” seems to be synonymous with “narcissism”. If you read the questions and think of who would be answering a 4 or5, it would be someone who is narcissistic. It all goes back to the shift in society where everyone is a winner and everyone gets a trophy. Parents telling their kids they are extra special and can be anything they want, but leaving out that it takes hard work. This is all the result of helicopter parenting. The “lol” thread | |||
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Member |
I'd liken it to the science behind TDS. TDS does exist, but has it's roots in other (previously examined) psychological issues. "I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken." | |||
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Freethinker |
Good grief! I would say there’s no uncertainty about it: It’s patently obvious that some didn’t read more than a few words, and then evidently misunderstood those. Although I agree that the pathological feeling of victimhood has increased in recent times, it’s been around in a smaller subset of the population for a long time. I won’t cite the examples I’ve noticed for 50 years or so lest I be accused of being insensitive, but I have long wondered about the phenomenon. ► 6.4/93.6 | |||
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Member |
I’m pushing 60 and at this point in my life, I don’t give a fuck about anyone’s “feelings” anymore except family and those closest to me. | |||
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Ammoholic |
Well, it seems like recent the children have been indoctrinated to value “victimhood points”. When a thing is admired and/or rewarded, it isn’t surprising to see it increase. The “Stop the sniveling or I’ll give you something to snivel about.” that many of us might have heard or heard some variation of growing up seems to have been replaced with “There there you poor dear. Here let us take something away from that bad person who has more to make it all better.” at least in academia and politics. This is not a change likely to make things better. | |||
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The Constable |
Gotta be a VICTIM. | |||
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No double standards |
Interpersonal victimhood means it's all about me, I am most important, if there is ever a difference between me/my views and someone else, I am always right, the other person is always wrong. I taught at a public college in CA, in the faculty training there was a big poster "victims don't have to prove their victimization, we will take their claims at face value". There was once a campuswide police alert, notice sent out to all faculty/staff/student body. Someone "claimed" they heard an LGBT slur word in the parking garage. "Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women. When it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it....While it lies there, it needs no constitution, no law, no court to save it" - Judge Learned Hand, May 1944 | |||
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Member |
It is a generalized stupidity affecting our society and 2020 has magnified it greatly. And there will be more to come! End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles | |||
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Banned |
Democrats breed them by the truckload. | |||
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half-genius, half-wit |
I stopped having a lot of fellow feeling the day I watched a woman and her daughter step over a soldier dying in the gutter in a street in Northern Ireland without even breaking step. | |||
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Member |
Tac.. sorry you had to see that . I guess maybe I should rephrase my post. I am still a man of great compassion and caring, I just am at an utter loss at what this world and country has become. I should have said I give zero fucks about anyone who is PC, SJWish etc and their feelings.. | |||
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