quote:

Originally posted by rburg:
When I was young, many decades ago, I was taught that I should be polite on the phone. But I think that is an outmoded concept. There is no reason to be polite to a liar or someone who probably isn't telling me the truth. Do I have any responsibility to be polite to interlopers who are trying to scam me?

100% correct here sir.

I was raised by parents who told me to be polite to strangers, be polite on the phone, etc. Basically be polite with people and kill them with kindness.

Well that was all fine and dandy. Until I became a police officer. And I quickly learned, that some people, don't deserve a polite response.

Some jerk being rude? Yeah, no, he doesn't deserve a kind, polite, response.

Some criminal sizing you up, deciding if you are his next victim? Fuck off shit-stain, I don't have time for assholes. I learned in prison as a prison gaurd that the "nice guys" are the "victimized guys". The assholes, are usually left alone.

My kids are growing up now, and I'll be sure to remind them that some folks are worthy of a kind and polite disposition. Others, not so much.

I do like messing with the scammers. Especially when I hear the Indian accent type voice I enjoy making the call dificult for them.

I am bilingual, I speak English and Spanish. I may answer the phone in English but then switch to Spanish with mixed Engish.

Things like ...Lo siento, no hablo Ingles dumb ass. Then when they start to talk, I start talking at the same time and I say things like... Where is my money?

They usually hang up quickly.

My idea behind doing this is that if enough people did this type of thing, they would stop calling.

I have learned that when the waiter in a Mexican restaurant speaks to you in Spanish (just to be annoyingly cute), replying and ordering in German (just to be annoyingly cute, also) is counter productive to the goal of enjoying your dining experience.

Get yourself a whistle.

If I get a live one I advise them to please consider getting a more respectable job like prostitution!

quote:

Originally posted by 9mmnut:
Get yourself a whistle.

I like that. Simple, inexpensive, and brutal.

It's been posted before, but it is such a classic. While I don't personally condone impersonating the police, Tom Mabe's homicide investigation is the best telemarketing response ever.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
The Indian and Pakistani scammers all seem to go off into "I fuck your mother" and stuff like that, once you make it clear you know it's a scam. No, it hasn't happened to me because I never answer a phone call unless I recognize the number, but you can find tons of that stuff on youtube. When they start in with "I fuck your mother" tell them "I hope you have a shovel, because she's in the ground."

Them: "I fuck your daughter!"

You:"I don't have a daughter. I have a dog, though. You wanna fuck my dog?"

Them: "I come to your house!"

You: "I shoot you in the ass."

Them: "I send police to your house!"

You: "I'm on vacation."

I love the Indian/Pakistani "IRS Agents" who call from the Boiler Room in the background.

When I am ready for them to break character, I usually ask "Is your Mother proud of what you do?"

They go ape $hit!!

I normally don't answer if I don't recognize the number, but this week I've been waiting on calls from a roofing guy and the doctor's office, so I've gotten hit by a few telemarketers/scammers. I've resorted to something I was taught by one of the DIs in the academy. Dude was a marine veteran, and a real hard ass...but a really good guy and an excellent instructor. He had a way with words. One night when we were being released for chow, he told us to be back by 18:00, "and if you're not, kill yourself!" Short, simple, and to the point.

These days, if I get ambushed by some real life salesman/scammer that won't take the hint and go away, I just say "kill yourself", and hang up. Maybe someday one will take my advice and make the world a better place. Maybe not. But I can dream. Life lessons from Lt. A !

I usually have fun with the Indian guys who call trying to run the "I am IRS Agent Chris" scam. I usually listen to them, pretend to be really frightened, and then I am "frightened", I yell at them in Hindi/Urdu/Punjabi, and cuss them to the point that those scam artists are without words, and they start whining that I have insulted their mothers/fathers/grandparents etc.

However, the recommendation to use a whistle is a good one, I will have fun with those Indian scammers, and I will enjoy blowing their ears out when I blow the whistle right into their ears.

Now, I wonder where I can buy a good whistle locally? Do you have any recommendations for your prefered brand of whistle?
-Sid

I like to "money tease" them. As soon as they present their case, which is usually something along the lines of: If I don't pay this money right now, things will only get much worse for me - I start acting scared and act as if I want to give them my financial information so this matter can be resolved right now! Usually, I can sense their excitement. Then I tell them Allah sucks donkey dick and hang up.