quote:

Originally posted by frayedends:
I can't help with health advice. But it's time to leave the marriage. Those symptoms don't get better. I can tell by having been through similar things with my ex wife. We get along fine now but those things about her have not changed. If you have someone that resents you for your health issues they can only make life worse. If she truly loved you then it would be unconditional. I think unfortunately that kind of love is rare. But you will be better off alone than to suffer with someone that resents you.

quote:

Originally posted by irreverent:
I might have missed this, but how long have you been married to your second wife?
How is her relationship with your children? How is your relationship with your children?

I have been with her for 7 years. Relationship with my daughter is somewhat OK. As a matter of fact, my 17 year old stays with us during school days so that I can prepare her breakfast and watch her go to her car until she leaves for school. But my wife feels likes her privacy is invaded. We have a spare bedroom for my daughter. But she keeps on yapping at me on what my daughter can and can't do. I put my foot down on that and told her never interfere with my daughter's dealing.


Absolutely, you need a break, a "reset" if you will. But obviously we don't know where you're really at, because we can't see your relationship, and more importantly, we aren't in it.

Your weight certainly isn't horrible, and hopefully your docs are helping, but I totally agree with the posters that say find an exercise routine and stay with it- it will help you get up in the morning and start you through the day (if that's when you exercise). Some days, for me, knowing I have to get up and take care of my pets is the only thing that gets me out of bed. And once that's done, the next step comes easier, and the next, and suddenly you're out the door and into the day.

I am thinking of getting a Jack Russell again. I had one before but my ex- wife gave him away without my permission. He loved me more than he loved himself. He cared about me. With that being daid, my ex gave hin aeay just to make me more miserable.
I'll be thinking of and praying for you..
Best of luck.

quote:

Originally posted by 350zee:

quote:

Originally posted by irreverent:
I might have missed this, but how long have you been married to your second wife?
How is her relationship with your children? How is your relationship with your children?

I have been with her for 7 years. Relationship with my daughter is somewhat OK. As a matter of fact, my 17 year old stays with us during school days so that I can prepare her breakfast and watch her go to her car until she leaves for school. But my wife feels likes her privacy is invaded. We have a spare bedroom for my daughter. But she keeps on yapping at me on what my daughter can and can't do. I put my foot down on that and told her never interfere with my daughter's dealing.


Absolutely, you need a break, a "reset" if you will. But obviously we don't know where you're really at, because we can't see your relationship, and more importantly, we aren't in it.

Your weight certainly isn't horrible, and hopefully your docs are helping, but I totally agree with the posters that say find an exercise routine and stay with it- it will help you get up in the morning and start you through the day (if that's when you exercise). Some days, for me, knowing I have to get up and take care of my pets is the only thing that gets me out of bed. And once that's done, the next step comes easier, and the next, and suddenly you're out the door and into the day.

I am thinking of getting a Jack Russell again. I had one before but my ex- wife gave him away without my permission. He loved me more than he loved himself. He cared about me. With that being daid, my ex gave hin aeay just to make me more miserable.
I'll be thinking of and praying for you..
Best of luck.

quote:

Originally posted by jimmy123x:
There is nothing wrong with YOU. In regards to the marriage. It's very unfortunate with your health issues. Just hang in there and keep your chin up. Honestly, I feel your marriage is over. When one stops participating and is always putting you down, it's time to break up and move on. Think about it real hard, but, would you be happier without the constant verbal abuse. Life sucks sometimes, and being in pain all of the time must really suck, but you know what. I'm 40 and single, and when I come home the dog is ALWAYS happy to see me and I do whatever the hell I want and don't have to deal with anyones BS. There's a lot to be said about that.

quote:

I couldn't believe peopke like her exists. It hurts.

quote:

Originally posted by jimmy123x:
There is nothing wrong with YOU. In regards to the marriage. It's very unfortunate with your health issues. Just hang in there and keep your chin up. Honestly, I feel your marriage is over. When one stops participating and is always putting you down, it's time to break up and move on. Think about it real hard, but, would you be happier without the constant verbal abuse. Life sucks sometimes, and being in pain all of the time must really suck, but you know what. I'm 40 and single, and when I come home the dog is ALWAYS happy to see me and I do whatever the hell I want and don't have to deal with anyones BS. There's a lot to be said about that.

quote:

Originally posted by c1steve:
RA is caused by a cross reaction to a strep infection. If you can stop the infection, the RA will stop. First step is to go on a paleo diet. No sugar, low carb. I think some dairy is not a problem. Next step is to boost your body's overall health. There are some excellent methods in the alternative health world.

The last thing you want to do is take a drug that will reduce the effectiveness of your immune system. That will give temporary improvements in pain reduction, but will allow the infection to increase. My email is listed, if you want more info. I work in the health care field.

---

quote:

Originally posted by c1steve:
RA is caused by a cross reaction to a strep infection. If you can stop the infection, the RA will stop. First step is to go on a paleo diet. No sugar, low carb. I think some dairy is not a problem. Next step is to boost your body's overall health. There are some excellent methods in the alternative health world.

The last thing you want to do is take a drug that will reduce the effectiveness of your immune system. That will give temporary improvements in pain reduction, but will allow the infection to increase. My email is listed, if you want more info. I work in the health care field.

quote:

Originally posted by Fredward:
As far as the health goes, there is a non-narcotic drug called Cymbalta. It is prescribed for arthritis AND depression. Sounds like you need help with both. The best part is, you don't have to take it forever. When you feel better, the doctor can take you off it. I took it for nearly 3 years. I had depression and arthritis. The meds helped me get "up" enough to exercise and lose weight, which helped a whole lot with the arthritis pain. Been off the meds 9 years, and the pain is catching up again. I just spent a week in AZ, where the pain was much less, sometimes not at all, so I'm considering a move. I can't help you with the marriage issues, but I will pray about it for you.

Good luck. You do have friends.

quote:

Originally posted by 10X-Shooter:
My prayers for you 350. I don't dare tell you what's right for you but rather what has helped me. I just turned 50, had a bad divorce, am remarried with a beautiful daughter going on 9. I too have RA, Osteoarthritis, bad migraines, lost a kidney, horrible kidney stone problems all my life, had two knee surgeries, gall bladder removed, and high blood pressure more due to kidney less than anything. I've packed on the weight but I think I am fairly happy and still find joy in life. I learned long ago to not find my happiness in others but rather in myself. Don't judge yourself on any failures because you can't appreciate or gain successes without failures. I try to be a decent man and Christian but realize humans can fail you. I love my wife and I am lucky she puts up with me. If I were you I'd seek happiness with myself, seek help in dealing with illness whether in thoughts, body, relationship, or soul. I'd learn what makes me happy and concentrate on my successes and accomplishments. I'd wager if you sat and made a list with two columns your successes would far outweigh failures. If you find happiness in yourself, people will be happier around you I think. Work on you and the rest will fall into place whether it's divorce, your children's independence, or anything. I've found peace in faith. Get help, do what makes you happy and free, sit and be honest with yourself, and try living. The rest will fall in. I think your daughters would be happy to see you find happiness. They'll still need you. Reach out to friends. I've volunteered for a local to be part of a veteran honor guard with veterans from the area to pay honor to those who've passed and have served. It makes me feel good to do something good for deserving folks. I'm glad you've reached out. Keep that up brother. Just keep one foot in front of the other, make a plan, search your soul, make some lists, and try those lists/plans until you find something that makes you happy and makes you feel good about yourself. Life is pain, can't say it gets tons bet.ter but pain means you're alive and you can distract yourself from pain. I almost died in 2001 and lived through being in the middle of a tornado. I've survived the Army and law enforcement. I made a list of the things I always wanted to try and I'm still trying them. It's helped me, hope it helps you too.