Post your groaner of the day

March 10, 2017, 09:41 AM

exx1976

quote:
Originally posted by Floyd D. Barber:
quote:
Originally posted by George43:
quote:
Originally posted by imfrogman:
quote:
Originally posted by justjoe:
quote:
Originally posted by ASKSmith:
How do you get a witch pregnant?

You fuck her.

That one actually made me laugh.

I need to get more sleep....

The way I heard it was... How do you get a nun pregnant?

No, you dress her up like an altar boy....

You can get pregnant from ~~anal~~ oral?

FIFY.

March 10, 2017, 11:01 AM

zoom6zoom

Is dirty talk considered aural sex?

I know that in severe cases it can result in getting hearing aids.

March 10, 2017, 12:54 PM

Krazeehorse

A guy came to my door today asking for a small donation for the community swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

March 10, 2017, 04:20 PM

sigcrazy7

Redneck goes into the tool store to buy a file. The clerk shows him what is available, saying "We have rough, smooth, and bastard files." After thinking about it for a minute, the redneck says "Give me one of those bastards, and one each of those other two suns-a-bitches."

_{Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well. -Epictetus}

March 10, 2017, 04:30 PM

sigcrazy7

Little kid is at show-n-tell, telling the story of his father who was up on the barn roof, fell off, and landed on a fence post right on his posterior.

Little kid:
"Yea, my Daddy, he was up on the barn, fell off, and ran a fence post right up his ass!"

Teacher:
"Ummm, rectum."

Little kid:
"Wrecked um? Damn near killed um."

_{Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well. -Epictetus}

March 11, 2017, 02:13 PM

WildSig

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the
other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

How does an idiot call for his dog?
He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover.

March 11, 2017, 03:42 PM

ArLEOret

Two cannibals killed a missionary. One started at the head and the other at the legs. The one at the head looked at his friend and asked how he was doing. The friend replied, "I'm having a ball".

March 11, 2017, 06:14 PM

V-Tail

Cannibal went to the witch doctor, complaining of a stomach ache. Witch doctor said, "It must have been somebody you ate."

Cannibal said, "No, my standard diet, one of those missionary guys. The one in the brown robe with a bald spot."

Witch doctor asked, "How did you cook him?"

Cannibal said, "Traditional method, boiled him in a big pot."

Witch doctor said, "You idiot, that was a friar!"

March 12, 2017, 08:02 AM

egregore

Here's a "croaker."

March 12, 2017, 01:10 PM

zoom6zoom

I always make my dentist appointments for the same time.

Tooth Hurty.

March 12, 2017, 01:47 PM

exx1976

quote:
Originally posted by George43:
What sound does a Japanese camera shutter make?

Crick.

A Japanese man walks into a New York Currency Exchange with 2000 yen. He receives $72.00 in American currency. The following week, the same Japanese man walks into the same currency exchange. He again exchanges 2000 yen. This time, he receives $66.00 in American currency. He doesn't understand why he received less money, so he asks the clerk, "Why less money when same 2000 yen"

The clerk replies, "Fluctuations." As the Asian man prepares to leave, he turns, looks at the clerk and angrily says, "Fluck you Amelicans, too!"

March 21, 2017, 12:02 PM

Tuckerrnr1

Child beauty pageant mother arrested for using botox on daughter. The child did not look surprised.

March 21, 2017, 12:47 PM

Jim Shugart

Urologist: You should quit masturbating so much.
Patient: Oh yeah? Why is that?
Urologist: Because I need to examine you.

March 21, 2017, 02:37 PM

Warhorse

quote:
Originally posted by exx1976:A Japanese man walks into a New York Currency Exchange with 2000 yen. He receives $72.00 in American currency. The following week, the same Japanese man walks into the same currency exchange. He again exchanges 2000 yen. This time, he receives $66.00 in American currency. He doesn't understand why he received less money, so he asks the clerk, "Why less money when same 2000 yen"

The clerk replies, "Fluctuations." As the Asian man prepares to leave, he turns, looks at the clerk and angrily says, "Fluck you Amelicans, too!"

March 21, 2017, 04:50 PM

Floyd D. Barber

Guy went on a blind date, after eating, they were walking down the street.
He asked, "what would you like to do"?
He heard, "I wanna get weighed".
He found that strange, but they passed a store with an old fashion penny scale out front so they stopped.
He asked, "Are you enjoying the evening"?
"No, so far it's wousy".

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Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon

It's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice.
Billy Joe Shaver

NRA Life Member

March 21, 2017, 05:24 PM

GWbiker

North Carolina state trooper pulls over a redneck for speeding on the Interstate.

Trooper: "Got any ID".

Redneck: "'bout what".

March 21, 2017, 07:55 PM

Cooper2011

What is the guys name who has no arms or legs and likes to waterski?

Skip

March 21, 2017, 07:59 PM

ScreamingCockatoo

Dod you hear about the cow that gave golden milk?
It's legend dairy.

March 21, 2017, 08:38 PM

WildSig

Two blondes walk into a bar. The brunette ducks.

April 07, 2017, 06:28 AM

Floyd D. Barber

A girl was riding down the street on her bicycle with a kitten in the basket on her handlebars.
A policeman saw her and gave her a citation for pedaling pussy.