SIGforum
Post your groaner of the day

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/7950072024

March 01, 2017, 01:23 PM
WildSig
Post your groaner of the day
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?


Quatro sinko.
March 01, 2017, 01:27 PM
archerman
What do you call a red-headed ninja?

A Ginja

Razz


Archerman
March 01, 2017, 01:29 PM
imfrogman
quote:
Originally posted by justjoe:
quote:
Originally posted by ASKSmith:
How do you get a witch pregnant?



You fuck her.


That one actually made me laugh.

I need to get more sleep....


The way I heard it was... How do you get a nun pregnant?


NRA Life Member
March 01, 2017, 01:34 PM
SigSAC
Back to the SCUBA theme -

Did you hear about the guy who was working on a hoseless regulator?

They kept saying it was a tankless job .
March 01, 2017, 01:40 PM
TMats
*Person is having a heart attack

Helpful bystander: "Is anyone here a doctor?"

Vegan: "I'm a vegan"

_________________________________________________
Me: I don't actually know any vegans; I live in Wyoming. I just thought it was funny.


_______________________________________________________
despite them
March 01, 2017, 02:01 PM
cjevans
What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?
Look! A herd of elephants!

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
Nothing. He didn't recognize them.

Why didn't Tarzan like to play poker in the jungle?
There were too many cheetahs!



We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid." ~ Benjamin Franklin.

"If anyone in this country doesn't minimise their tax, they want their head read, because as a government, you are not spending it that well, that we should be donating extra...:
Kerry Packer

SIGForum: the island of reality in an ocean of diarrhoea.
March 01, 2017, 02:12 PM
darthfuster
I've been reading this book about adhesives. I just can't put it down....



You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier
March 01, 2017, 02:15 PM
Tonyny
What was Sony Bono's last song?

I got you tree.


*************************************************
NRA Life Member

Capital punishment means never having to say, "You again?"
March 01, 2017, 02:17 PM
getupatree
Did you hear about the 2 gay judges that tried each other?



March 01, 2017, 02:19 PM
ravens1775
Pirate walks into a bar with the ship's wheel stuck to the front of his pants

Bartender says, "Hey, do you know you have your ship's wheel stuck to the front of your pants?!?"

Pirate: "Arrrr, I know, it's drivin' me nuts!"
March 01, 2017, 02:19 PM
RogueJSK
quote:
Originally posted by justjoe:
quote:
Originally posted by ASKSmith:
How do you get a witch pregnant?



You fuck her.


That one actually made me laugh.


Me too. Big Grin
March 01, 2017, 02:23 PM
Lord Vaalic
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob

Same guy in a Lion cage? Claude

Why can you never believe the king of the jungle? Because he's Lion




Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
March 01, 2017, 02:25 PM
JWF
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the possums it could be done.


Just another day in paradise.

March 01, 2017, 02:40 PM
c1steve
What is the difference between a musician and a 16" pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four.


-c1steve
March 01, 2017, 02:45 PM
Jim Shugart
quote:
Originally posted by JWF:
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the possums it could be done.
Q: What is another phrase for "the chicken crossing the road"?
A: Poultry in motion.



When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
March 01, 2017, 02:48 PM
mikeyspizza
Why did the can crusher quit his job?

He found it soda pressing.
March 01, 2017, 03:00 PM
V-Tail
quote:
Originally posted by trapper189:
Why are banjos better than bagpipes? They don't weigh as much and are thus easier to throw in the dumpster.

I don't know any muscians jokes, but I know a lot of drummer jokes.
What do you call a banjo player who has a pager?

An optimist.



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
March 01, 2017, 03:09 PM
OneWheelDrive
quote:
Originally posted by TMats:
*Person is having a heart attack

Helpful bystander: "Is anyone here a doctor?"

Vegan: "I'm a vegan"

_________________________________________________
Me: I don't actually know any vegans; I live in Wyoming. I just thought it was funny.


I'll have to show this to my brother (the vegan.)


================================================
Ultron: "You're unbearably naive."
Vision: "Well, I was born yesterday."
March 01, 2017, 03:09 PM
ontmark
Why did the boy throw a cube of butter out the upstairs window?

He wanted to see a butterfly.



Why did the boy jump out the upstairs window.

He wanted to try his new spring suit.



What did the salad say to the refrigerator door when it was opened.

Shut the door I’m dressing.



What More? Big Grin
I didn’t think so.



Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use it! - John Steinbeck
March 01, 2017, 03:16 PM
cobrajet
quote:
Originally posted by TMats:
*Person is having a heart attack

Helpful bystander: "Is anyone here a doctor?"

Vegan: "I'm a vegan"

_________________________________________________
Me: I don't actually know any vegans; I live in Wyoming. I just thought it was funny.


Haha, truth, made the mistake of dating one briefly.


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"The problem with our Liberal friends is not that they are ignorant, it's that they know so much that isn't so." Ronald Reagan