SIGforum
Post your groaner of the day

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/7950072024

March 01, 2017, 10:22 AM
WildSig
Post your groaner of the day
Why do scuba divers go out of the boat backwards?



If they fell forward, they'd fall back into the boat. Razz
March 01, 2017, 10:39 AM
6guns
On that same theme....ask me if I want to go scuba diving?



No tanks.



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March 01, 2017, 10:44 AM
trapper189
Why are banjos better than bagpipes? They don't weigh as much and are thus easier to throw in the dumpster.

I don't know any muscians jokes, but I know a lot of drummer jokes.
March 01, 2017, 10:49 AM
jcat
How can a man go without sleeping for 8 days?



Easy, he sleeps at night.


________________________
March 01, 2017, 10:50 AM
Phantom229
A Mexican magician tell his audience, "I will disappear on the count of three". He counts down..."Uno..Dos.." and then he disappears without a tres.


Situation awareness is defined as a continuous extraction of environmental information, integration of this information with previous knowledge to form a coherent mental picture in directing further perception and anticipating future events. Simply put, situational awareness mean knowing what is going on around you.
March 01, 2017, 10:51 AM
Phantom229
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.


Situation awareness is defined as a continuous extraction of environmental information, integration of this information with previous knowledge to form a coherent mental picture in directing further perception and anticipating future events. Simply put, situational awareness mean knowing what is going on around you.
March 01, 2017, 10:53 AM
Phantom229
What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAANDDDD EYYYYYYYEEEEE.


Situation awareness is defined as a continuous extraction of environmental information, integration of this information with previous knowledge to form a coherent mental picture in directing further perception and anticipating future events. Simply put, situational awareness mean knowing what is going on around you.
March 01, 2017, 10:54 AM
old rugged cross
What did the fish say when hit his head on concrete?

"Dam"

So the horse walks into and sits at the bar.
The bartender looks at him and say's.

"So why the long face"?



"Practice like you want to play in the game"
March 01, 2017, 10:54 AM
Jim Shugart
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.


When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
March 01, 2017, 10:58 AM
1967Goat
What do you call a deer that doesn't have any eyes?

No-idear.



What do you call a fish with 2 knees?

A two-knee fish!
March 01, 2017, 11:25 AM
mcrimm
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?


Homeless


I'm sorry if I hurt you feelings when I called you stupid - I thought you already knew - Unknown
...................................
When you have no future, you live in the past. " Sycamore Row" by John Grisham
March 01, 2017, 11:28 AM
Deqlyn
When you see geese flying in a "V" do you know why one part of the V is longer than the other?

Cause theres one more goose there....


What man is a man that does not make the world better. -Balian of Ibelin

Only boring people get bored. - Ruth Burke
March 01, 2017, 11:34 AM
PHPaul
quote:
Originally posted by Phantom229:
What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAANDDDD EYYYYYYYEEEEE.


Okay, that took a second... Big Grin



Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
March 01, 2017, 11:37 AM
HRK
What did Noah say as he was loading the Ark? "Now I herd everything

"Why did the people on the ark think the horses were pessimistic? They kept saying neigh

What animal could Noah not trust? The cheetah

Why couldn't they play cards on the ark? Noah was sitting on the deck

Who was the first canning factory run by? Noah-he had a boat full of preserved pairs

Was Noah the first one out of the Ark? No, he came fourth out of the ark

yes I know you want noah more.....
March 01, 2017, 11:56 AM
ASKSmith
How do you get a witch pregnant?



You fuck her.


-----------------
I apologize now...
March 01, 2017, 12:00 PM
PeteF
Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $4, deer nuts are under a buck.
March 01, 2017, 12:02 PM
egregore

March 01, 2017, 12:27 PM
justjoe
quote:
Originally posted by ASKSmith:
How do you get a witch pregnant?



You fuck her.


That one actually made me laugh.

I need to get more sleep....


______________________________________________________

"You get much farther with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone."
March 01, 2017, 01:00 PM
BigSwede
And the Lord said unto John,

"Come forth and you will receive eternal life."

But John came fifth, and won a toaster.



March 01, 2017, 01:20 PM
WildSig
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
quote:
Originally posted by Phantom229:
What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAANDDDD EYYYYYYYEEEEE.


Okay, that took a second... Big Grin


Took me a bit also. Have to sing it I guess. Big Grin