In any case, it's not the kids who are "spoiled" be being given "too much" that are the problem, it's those who's misdeeds are ignored or excused. Kids must learn that bad choices have negative consequences. This is as true for the privileged as well as the poor, it's just a lot easier to find a good path if you have a more options (sometimes easier to find a bad path as well).

quote:

Originally posted by Aeteocles:

quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:
I spoil my grandchildren. I can't help it. The other day I was watching my 20 month old granddaughter. Among the instructions were, no candy, no junk food, no screen time. Mom and dad weren't even out of the neighborhood and miss Penny was up on my lap watching Elmo with her hand in my bag of Ruffles and a big grin on her face. I'll take the admonishment later. It's worth enjoying that time together.

Yeah, that would irritate me quite a bit. To me, that's not spoiling so much as reinforcing bad habits. We work really hard to develope good habits for our 22 month old.

Better not let me babysit them then.

I guess its subjective. I spent money for them to have nice things. Much better than I had. But my children were very well adjusted. They never acted entitled or spoiled. My son would tell me not to buy him things.

My granddaughter died at Birth. Otherwise I would have spoiled her.

I wouldn't empty one of my 401k's to bail them out of trouble.
I did buy all four their first car, all used of course. And no V-8's

I put much effort and expense into providing the best education that I can obtain for my daughter, and to give her an enriched life. I do not tolerate bratish or ungrateful behavior from her, and try my best to make sure she understands, and to the extent appropriate for her age, earns the privileges that she enjoys.

I want my daughter to be as best prepared for the world and for life as I can make her, and, at times, that means she must endure her own struggles and hardships. She's young now, so those struggles tend to be limited to re-working homework problems and studying when she'd rather be playing, cleaning her room and doing chores, etc. But, that's where I think I can start giving her the foundation to understand that, for her, if she wants success and privileges, she will have to work for them. I can - and I will - create all the opportunities for her that I can, but I don't have the ability to set her up for life, so she will have to make her way on her own.

Some would say yes, many would say no.

I try to reward good choices as much as I can, partially because I believe strongly in punishing poor choices. Whenever possible the punishment should be a natural consequence or related to the bad decision.

I try to convey that blessings or good things such as rewards following good choices are because of and inspired by the good decisions they made or a product of a reward for hard work I want to recognize.

My parenting is far from perfect, but we do the best we can in each moment and no one else is raising or helping to raise our children.

I've tried not to.

I have nice things, they get the benefit of that. I enjoy traveling, they come with me.

Now that they are older (teenagers) they also work at my place of business and appreciate what it is I do. They get paid for their work and realize the value of a dollar.

Right up until I changed the locks when they turned 21.

Yes, to both. The world is gonna kick them in the teeth at every turn it can, so I will soften the blow at every turn I can in return. I also teach them right from wrong, to love God, their family and their fellow man, and that they may judge their fellow man by how he treats someone who can do nothing for him. So far, so good...

Yes.

Children no, but the grandkids yes. As long as we can afford to they will get it.

Perhaps a little. Our daughters always had nice clothes, cell phones as teenagers, computers, iPods, etc., and we bought their first cars. One daughter we bought her first 5 cars (she had totaled two of them). Now we try to spoil the grandkids, but we respect their parents’ wishes (mostly) and don’t go overboard, but Grandma LOVES to shop for baby clothes, and #4 grandbaby is due the end of May. We sometimes help by buying dinner frequently, buying gas frequently, and so forth. Both girls are mature, well-adjusted women and are very appreciative of everything we provided and how we raised them. My and my wife’s greatest accomplishments in life are our girls.

I tried not to, but was probably more extravagant than my parents were. This is no criticism of them, as they were generous. But I thinks times changed between the '60s and the '90s.

Warren Buffet is obviously in a wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy different category financially than the rest of us. We will not be able to do what he does or plans to do.

However, I like what he said a few years ago.

Buffett isn’t saying exactly how much he will leave to his children when he dies. But if he adheres to his own dictum, it will be a relatively small piece of his very large fortune. His advice: “You should leave your children enough so they can do anything, but not enough so they can do nothing.”
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