My father was one of the biggest tightwads you could imagine.
But in the end he was very generous to me and my three brothers.
I think we spoiled our four kids. But not to their detriment.
They have all turned out fine. Bought my sons Glock 19's for
Christmas last year.

We are not going to empty our pockets out to them but we are here in case of emergencies.

If that makes any sense. The Bank of Mom and Dad has limits. This policy has been tested in an emergency already. But we try to keep them equal.

Our children, no. Our grandchildren, absolutely.

quote:

Originally posted by WaterburyBob:
Our children, no. Our grandchildren, absolutely.

Yes. Anything for the grandkids. They have more toys than
our entire neighborhood had as kids.

I have not and will not spoil my children or grandchildren and (have) will always do what I can if they need help.

My daughters both understand and appreciate it.

I had my 2 boys when I was 37 & 38 years old. Having kids later in life means I had more disposable income than when I was, say, 27. My dad tells me I spoil them, but I'm not so sure. My dad worked a lot when I was growing up, so while we did spend some time together, it wasn't a lot. I spend a lot of time with my boys, which comes at a cost for some things. We've had season passes at a ski resort for the past 3 years, about $1,000 for the yearly passes. We usually get passes for the local six flags as well. My wife and I like to go to Mexico for vacation, so my kids have been to Mexico about 7 times, plus Disney World twice (which I hate).

I tend to be very thrifty when I buy things, almost always used. I have a 1998 Moomba wakeboard boat I bought 3 years ago for $3,000 (and put another $2k into it). We like to go out on the lake in the summer. I bought my 11 year old a 1998 Kawasaki KX60 last year for $700.

I give my kids a lot of experiences, but they also know the value of a dollar. Over 3 years in Cub Scouts, they've sold about $10,000 in popcorn for the yearly fundraiser. they had to work quite hard selling the ~$3,000 in popcorn each year.

My kids are fortunate for sure. Both my wife and I work, so financially we are able to give them more than we had growing up. They definitely don't get everything they want, and I tell them that material things in life cost money, and there's only so much money available to spend on things. We eat out maybe 4 times per year, which saves us money to spend on other things. Priorities I guess.

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:
I have not and will not spoil my children or grandchildren and (have) will always do what I can if they need help.

My daughters both understand and appreciate it.

Same.

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:
I have not and will not spoil my children or grandchildren and (have) will always do what I can if they need help.

My daughters both understand and appreciate it.

None have needed help so far.
I love them so much. I would do anything in the world for them.

I couldn't spoil my kid. My Child Support was outrageous, and my Ex was not spending it on the kid. So I had to kick in more cash to keep him going.
There was one item I did buy for him that made a big impact on him: A pawn shop acoustic guitar.
He plays proficiently now and is in a pretty good band.
"Lily In The Weeds" on ITunes.

I would say that it’s very relative. It would appear to some folks that we spoil our kids, but not so much to others. I don’t feel like I do. I feel like I say “no” quite often.

quote:

Originally posted by Schmelby:...
None have needed help so far.
I love them so much. I would do anything in the world for them.

I hope my reply did not come as a criticism of your OP.

It's not my place, nor will I judge or question you on that.

No offence taken. I like reading your posts.
I think we have the same type of sense of humor.

I spoil my grandchildren. I can't help it. The other day I was watching my 20 month old granddaughter. Among the instructions were, no candy, no junk food, no screen time. Mom and dad weren't even out of the neighborhood and miss Penny was up on my lap watching Elmo with her hand in my bag of Ruffles and a big grin on her face. I'll take the admonishment later. It's worth enjoying that time together.

quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:
I spoil my grandchildren. I can't help it. The other day I was watching my 20 month old granddaughter. Among the instructions were, no candy, no junk food, no screen time. Mom and dad weren't even out of the neighborhood and miss Penny was up on my lap watching Elmo with her hand in my bag of Ruffles and a big grin on her face. I'll take the admonishment later. It's worth enjoying that time together.

You're my kind of grandfather! I never really got to know mine. They lived hundreds of miles
away and passed when I was a teenager. Enjoy them while you can!!

quote:

Originally posted by darthfuster:
I spoil my grandchildren. I can't help it. The other day I was watching my 20 month old granddaughter. Among the instructions were, no candy, no junk food, no screen time. Mom and dad weren't even out of the neighborhood and miss Penny was up on my lap watching Elmo with her hand in my bag of Ruffles and a big grin on her face. I'll take the admonishment later. It's worth enjoying that time together.

Yeah, that would irritate me quite a bit. To me, that's not spoiling so much as reinforcing bad habits. We work really hard to develope good habits for our 22 month old.

With regards to spoiling my children? She's got a whole drawer full of silver spoons waiting for her. We spend relatively little money on extravagances, cost benefit the shit out of everything, and border on cheap. But I'm committed to making sure my little girls will see every corner of the world and will learn and do some amazing things while they're still young enough to be influenced by these positive things.

We had an "only child", a daughter, a very SWEET and well-behaved daughter who just graduated college last year cum laude. Yes, she was spoiled and it showed in several areas, but overall she is an amazing kid working her first "real" job at a large business in Athens, GA, has her own 2-bedroom apartment, and is doing well on her own.

If grandkids come along before I die, Lord help them because they WILL most definitely be spoiled!!!

I did not but her Mother did.
She is now in her mid 20's and has been to France, Spain, Italy, UK, Belgium and more that I can't remember. Her mother, my ex, took her and now she thinks she lives this jet lifestyle. Only took a few months for her to realize that was over as her mother remarried and now has another family.
I never spent a dime on those vacations and I won't now. Told her to save up her money if she wants to go somewhere.

nope, my daughter is 32 and I told her she better start saving for retirement, our 401k and life savings is for my wife and I, not her. Both my wife and I grew up poor and struggled for a couple decades to get financially free. We scrimped and saved so we can enjoy retirement, I did not save to leave it for my daughter. I think it is important for them to save on their own and not be handed things that they will not fully appreciate.

We did support my daughter until she got her Masters, and when she moved out she had plenty of money saved up to buy a new car and all her furnishings for her apartment. She started off way better than we did. My wife and I may die before we spend all that we have saved, or we may live to spend all of it and my daughter gets the house. Either way is fine with me.

BTW, I have seen parents who were wealthy ruin their kids my giving everything to them. I have seen the same with grandkids. I take the Jackie Chan plan on passing down to my children.

Jackie Chan plan

My kids are my stepkids, and they became my stepkids when the oldest was 20 and the youngest was 18. It makes no difference to me. They are my kids.

We don’t spoil them as they are older, and we have never been wealthy enough to do that. We have helped them in many different ways. We have financed cars for them, paid airfare for them to visit, let them borrow money, and when they paid it back, deposited it right back into their account (not every time, but sometimes).

So no, we don’t spoil them, but we have helped them when they need it, or sometimes when they don’t need it.

“Spoiled” is a relative term, no different than “rich”. The guy with a house, car, and who doesn’t live paycheck to paycheck, is considered “rich” by those who have far less. That same guy, looks at a millionaire and thinks he is rich, etc. “Spoiled” is no different. It depends on how you were raised and where your priorities lie.


If I had unlimited disposable income, yes, I would buy each of my kids a home that would have no mortgage. They would have cars that were paid off, etc. I cannot afford to do that, so it is what it is. Some people would think that buying their homes would be spoiling them. I think it would be offering them a freedom that most people are not able to achieve. I would do just about anything to improve the quality of their lives.

In my case, it is the other way around - my son spoiled me!. My son of 50 years was never a problem growing up and was my best friend as we wandered the woods and the rivers during his growing-up years. We have never had arguments or harsh words between us - more like mutual respect and appreciation. He works hard, now always smart , and pays his own bills.

Now, my granddaughters - well that is another story!