Amazing Grace
SEAN DIETRICH (Aka Sean of the South)
JUL 20 2024



Morning. I am driving two-lane highways in the backcountry of Missouri. I have been sharing the highway with mostly rusty pickups and Massey Ferguson farm implements. Also deer.
Missouri. The place where the western prairie meets the southern cotton patches. It’s a foreign land to me.
You’d never know I was born in Missouri. You’d never guess my father died in Missouri.
We lived in Kansas for a short time. A place where Missouri and Kansas were indistinguishable from one another. And that’s where our lives went to hell.
Daddy ended his earthly career here, by his own hand. I come back to town on a pilgrimage every few years


It’s weird, because I don’t know anyone here. I don’t have any friends. People listen to me talk, they smile, and they immediately ask where my accent is from.
“Alamaba,” I reply.
Then they nod and edge away from me.
I spent the morning driving around Kansas and Missouri, the place where it all happened. The bad stuff. My father did not simply kill himself. On his last night alive, he tried to kill us too. My mom. My sister. Me.
But it wasn’t actually him doing the bad stuff. Not really. He lost his mind. And when someone loses their mind they lose their wholeself


Before sunrise, I went to the creek where I was the day he died. I had been catching mudbugs that day. Playing. Splashing. When the shot rang out.
I haven’t been to the creek in over 30 years. Never wanted to go. But today I felt like going.
So, I parked on the shoulder of an old gravel road. I hiked through the suffocating woods to the spot. The same creek where my mother once ran barefoot, in her nightgown, as my father chased her with a pistol. I remember all the shouting and the wailing


This morning, I looked into the treetops. All you could hear were crickets and cicadas. There were rope swings tangled in the upper limbs of the trees. Frayed with age. Swings I put there a lifetime ago.
And for the first time in my life, it doesn’t hurt. I’m middle aged now. And it finally doesn’t hurt. It aches, yes. But the pain doesn’t scare me anymore.
Used to, I was afraid of everything. Used to, I couldn’t breathe when I thought about this place. From ages 11 until 35 I had night terrors. I used to be obsessed with my own pain.
But now I’m not. Now I just remember the man he was before he lost himself

Now I remember his laugh, his bushy red beard. And the pride he felt when his Little First Baseman caught the game-winning line drive. I remember singing “Amazing Grace” at his funeral.
A truck pulled over during my moment of reflection, and the driver got out of the dusty Chevy. He looked like a farmer. He was an older guy. He hiked through the brush, straight to me, and asked whether I was okay.
“I’m okay,” I said.
“Are you lost?” the farmer asked, his truck still idling in the distance.
I had to smile.
“I once was,” I said. “But now I’m found.”

That's a great story, with a harsh middle but a beautiful end.

Well wishes to you Jim and peace.

Prayers said for all that suffer. Amazing Grace playing in my head. Thanks for posting this. God Bless.

John.

Thank you for posting this, Jim.

We never know what is going inside the lives of others.

In addition to my regular prayers, I am praying for everyone at Sig Forum.

.

May God be with us all…

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Fla. Jim:
Amazing Grace
SEAN DIETRICH (Aka Sean of the South)
JUL 20 2024

“Are you lost?” the farmer asked, his truck still idling in the distance.
I had to smile.
“I once was,” I said. “But now I’m found.”[QUOTE]

I am glad that you're okay.

A reminder of a brother in Christ I know. His father beat his mother to death in front of he and his sister when they were young. He said his dad came after him but then stopped. His childhood was bad be he went on to get accepted to the Naval Academy and later in life became a believer in Christ. I told him he needs to write a book, he's one of the most brilliant people I've ever known.

Thanks for posting that!

I am at a loss for words but I wanted to let you know this touched me.

I've been following Sean Dietrich for a couple years now. He writes incredibly well about the real America. If you are not already, you should be following him.

Sean has become my current favorite Southern Writer. He walks in the steps of other Southern writers like Grizzard and Bragg. But I think he has a bigger range of writing abilities than either of the two mentioned. I can relate very well to his subjects of Southerners in general and situations similar compared to who and what I have experienced myself. Love his work! God truly gives some special gifts and seems he has found his and is sharing.

Like some of you, I have been following Sean Dietrich for a few years now.

He has a book available on Amazon, "Kinfolk" that I just ordered.

Awesome story and powerful. I wish it didn't end there. I would have liked to have known the drivers response and what happened next.

May His grace abound!

I thank you for that post.